A story has made the rounds this silly season that the Queen has custody of her minor grandchildren (and by implication her great-grandchildren) instead of their parents. This appears to be total nonsense. This all seems to rely on a blog post by an American royal journalist Marlene Koenig who in turn relies on an article in the Times from 1993 by Michael L. Nash (which I could not find). The story relies on a number of points: A court case from 1717: Case concerning the King’s Prerogative in respect to the Education and Marriage of the Royal Family. Hilary Term, 4., Geo. I. 1717 This was a l ..read more

One parent can apply for a British passport for a child, but in many other countries both parents have to make the application. Often that includes personally coming to the appointment. For foreign parents living in the UK this can be a serious problem. I have had many such enquiries. Recently a mother contacted me (details anonymised): My daughter is 6 years old and I am from Spain. The father has not been involved in her life for 5 years and I do not know where he is. The Spanish embassy says he needs to come to make the application for the passport or I need a court order. Can you help ..read more

Eine deutsche Mutter, die in England mit Kindern und deren Vater lebt, kann nicht so einfach nach Deutschland zurück ziehen. Ich habe in den letzten Monaten in verschiedenen Foren Posts von deutschen Müttern gelesen, meist die wegen des Brexit, mit ihren Kindern nach Deutschland zurück ziehen wollen und wo der meist englische Vater hier in England bleibt. Das ist nicht so einfach, wie es vielleicht aussieht. Parental Responsibility Wenn der Vater „parental responsibility“ hat, brauchen Sie die Genehmigung des Vaters, oder eine Genehmigung vom Gericht. „Parental responsibility“ haben Väter, die ..read more

I frequently get asked how children should share their time between their parents. More parents agree or demand from the other that they have equal time. I have seen numerous variations of how that is done in practice, for example: One week with each parent. 3 days with each parent in turn, or 4 days with each parent in turn. Week days in turn with each parent. Complicated schedules where over a two or three week period weekdays and weekends are evened out but there are frequent changes. Any solution you agree must work for the children and must be practical depending on your work schedules ..read more

I have had several callers yesterday with essentially the same issue: the other parent is not agreeing to or not sticking to a clear schedule for time they spend with the child. In those cases I can either act for the parent, take detailed instructions and then correspond, all of which costs you money; or I can give generic advice. So I thought I would set out the basic generic advice here for everyone to read. Let’s take an anonymised example of a heterosexual couple where a young child, still a baby, lives with the mother. The same advice applies to same-sex couples, co-parents etc. The fath ..read more

A cohabiting couple had a child through surrogacy but separated during the pregnancy and the intended father no longer wanted to apply for a parental order. In a recent case, anonymised as M v F & SM (Human Fertilisation and Embryology Act 2008) [2017] EWHC 2176 (Fam), a cohabiting different-sex couple where the woman could not carry the child found a friend to be their surrogate. Both the intended mother and the intended father were the genetic parents. However, during the pregnancy the couple separated and the intended father no longer wanted anything to do with the child and did not joi ..read more

I have over the years had enquiries from several lesbian couples who were planning to attempt to conceive both at the same time to have children. One reason given was that they both wanted a close physical bond with a child. While most people who have had twins will say that the first three years are extremely hard, that is one choice for two women in a relationship to experience a close physical mother-child relationship. Another way, which I had not thought of until I came across Breastfeeding Without Birthing by Alyssa Schnell, is for the co-mother (the mother who did not birth the child) i ..read more

I was not aware that women could breastfeed without giving birth until I came across Alyssa Schnell’s book Breastfeeding Without Birthing. The book is available in the UK on Amazon.  Alyssa describes how any woman can try to induce lactation (through breastfeeding, manual stimulation, pumping and/or herbs and medication) and breastfeed a baby. Not every woman will produce the full amount of milk a baby needs, but Alyssa encourages breastfeeding for the benefit of nursing and the bond it creates irrespective of the milk supply produced. She gives tips and instructions how to supplement the ..read more

I recently had this enquiry: My spouse and I have a three-year-old son. We are both registered as parents on his birth certificate. We live with a very close friend, Jamie, who has taken an active role in parenting our son throughout his life since he was very small. Jamie is so involved in our son’s life that their role has effectively become that of a third parent, and we want the official state of affairs to reflect this. We want to give Jamie parental responsibility, and should my spouse and I both die, for example, we would want Jamie to have all the rights of a parent in making decision ..read more

The UK and in particular London has an international and cosmopolitan population, with many bi-national couples, not least due to free movement of citizens in the EU. On separation and divorce issues sometimes arise when one parent wants to move back to their home country with the child and the other parent does not agree. In those cases the court will need to decide on the relocation application, often called leave to remove the child out of the jurisdiction. I have had enquiries in recent weeks from parents who are thinking over their future and their children’s futures after the Brexit refe ..read more