The Hot Potato of Adoptee Anger
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
1w ago
“The hot potato hurts!” “You can’t spank it away, reason it away, or love it away.” I’m just an old adoptee, finally free from toxic anger’s choking grip, and ready to hunt bear. I want my fellow adoptees to be free also. Anger is a God-given emotion, but it can become toxic when we carry hatred and bitterness in our hearts. Let it be known in the beginning that: We adoptees and foster kids have every right to be angry. We’ve been kicked around, abandoned, lied to, judged, misunderstood, labeled, shamed, pitied, abused, misrepresented, ignored, shunned, marginalized, orphaned and sent awa ..read more
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The Special Needs of Adopted Children
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
Adopted children have special needs that adoptive, first, and foster parents must learn  in order to become their child’s #1 cheerleader. Use this list as needed and as age-appropriate for discussing special needs with your child. You might say, “An adopted person wrote a list of her special needs. Would you be interested in seeing it? I’m curious if you identify with any of the needs that are mentioned.” Remember, with young children, keep it simple-rephrase into kid speak, and stick with the words: SAD, MAD, GLAD ANGRY. Scripture verses are included for those who want them. EMOTIONAL NE ..read more
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Understanding One Adoptee’s Passion
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
A fellow adoptee friend told me that many adoptees and foster kids have a ! (exclamation mark) after their name. At first, I didn’t know what she meant, but as she elaborated the meaning, Anne of Green Gables came to mind. If you’ve watched this fascinating series, you would likely agree that Anne has a certain zest for life. Everything she says and does almost paints a picture with words. For those that have seen the movie, recall how Anne would burst into a song or fantasize about being a queen? I can identify with her. I feel things deeply, which is a plus. But, when I enthusiasticall ..read more
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Dancing With Your Adopted Child
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
  Today, we’re going to talk about the dance of adoption. Yes, there is such a dance. And we’re going to talk about it for the next few minutes. And hopefully, you will come away with new ideas of how to dance effectively, with your adopted child. Well, think about the floor like this, it’s made up of all the dynamics of your adoption. Maybe, it was a closed adoption. Maybe, it was an open adoption, kinship adoption, international adoption. Those are all possibilities for what the floor is made out of. And I remember as a little girl, one of my friends, just up the street for me, had a be ..read more
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Adopted Kids May Identify with Buddy At Christmastime
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
Dear all kinds of parents, fellow adoptees and foster kids… Every year, I watch the Christmas movie called ELF, mostly because my beliefs about Christmas, myself, and others in my story–adoptive mother and dad, ring familiar. We can use the movie as a springboard for discussing the challenges of Christmas that many adopted and foster children experience. By watching his struggles and happiness, you may readily identify. I will reveal main themes and then ask you to fill in“The Elf Questionnaire,” which contains ten attributes we may identify with as adopted people, and then watch the movi ..read more
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Who’s To Blame for Adoptee Push-Back
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
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What Feeds Adoptee Loss and Grief
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
There’s a rarity in the world of adoption that must be addressed. I’m addressing it as an adopted person, but it can apply to the adoption triad. That rarity is the unknown reality of bitterness that lodges secretly beneath grief and loss in my adoptee heart. If you examined the garden of my life, you wouldn’t be able to see it, for it twists its gangly roots around relationships, beliefs, and life purpose. Bitterness is: anguish hostility pain sarcasm harshness resentful Often, bitterness whispers, “You’ve been through the worst hurt. Eventually, I will keep you from ever being free to ..read more
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Identifying What Feeds Adoptee Grief
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
What I didn’t know until recently is that the moment my First Mom disappeared from my life, something was borne within me in addition to loss and grief. It lived undetected in my in my body, brain, and soul for decades. It whispered lies to me about my experiences as an adopted person. Deleted: <li>It wasn’t fair that your first mother disappeared.</li> Deleted: <li>It’s beyond comprehension that your first mother rejected you at reunion.</li> Deleted: <li>How awful that someone would abandon you.</li> Deleted: <li>You must hav ..read more
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What Feeds Adoptee Grief and Loss
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
..read more
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Adoptee Fantasies
Sherrie Eldridge Adoption Blog
by Sherrie Eldridge, Adoption Author
2M ago
Adoption fantasies aren’t bad. They’re simply dreams adopted children, teens, and adults build within their hearts to ease the painful losses of adoption. Adoptees need not belittle themselves for having them, for without them the pain may have been too great, the burden of grief too heavy. In many ways, fantasies are a gift from God to help us survive until we are strong enough to work through the issues.  Your adopted teen may seek out the missing birth mother through “mother surrogates.” Instead of confiding in her own mom, she will reject her mom as a confidante, and will choose other ..read more
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