rb wants to know … How to not get sucked in by catalog images? I have a fairly tailored style but I get lured by relaxed clothing – Eileen Fisher, J Jill – because those models look great and relaxed and clean and really elegant. But when I get those items home and put them on, I look like I’m wearing my pajamas. Most models are my height (5’11”) but not my shape (curvy, bottom heavy) so I can’t usually imagine how these things will look on me. I’m sure others struggle with that. Well. Even if none of you lovelies struggle with this, I know I do. I adore catalogs and pore over them on a weekly ..read more

Reader S. emailed me this question: I love wearing dresses because they are easy and usually comfortable. I have chronic Lyme disease, which means that some days by belly starts at one point and inflates or deflates to another. It also means that during relapses, I’m in incredible pain. So, I have adopted a style wardrobe that is comprised of J.Jill (because Eileen Fisher is out the the budget), eclectic “world” tunics, drapey tops, and some pieces from Free People. I want to wear more dresses because sometimes flowy pants just bore me. Jeans are way out of the question right now, too. What t ..read more

Mollie submitted this great question: What do I do when the clothes/cuts that I find meet my figure flattery goals (for me fitted but not clingy) don’t match all the aesthetics I’d like to include (interesting structures, relaxed fits)? I’d wager most of you have wondered this very same thing. You adore a garment, it feels marvelous against your skin, but it doesn’t show off your figure in a way that pleases your eye. Do you sacrifice figure-flattery in favor of design, or do you prioritize the silhouette you prefer over a love of certain aesthetics? As you might expect, I’m not going to ..read more

Know what breaks my heart? When a friend I haven’t seen for months tells me she was super nervous picking out an outfit to wear for our lunch date. That is NOT how I want anyone to feel, about me or anyone else. Because although I talk a lot about how to make yourself look good, my end goal is to help you feel good. One can lead to the other, in many cases, but the feeling good trumps the looking good every single time. At least in my book. I love the quote at the top of this post because I think it captures quite succinctly an important distinction between the fleeting, surfac ..read more

Reader Wendy wrote to me a while back asking about style rules concerning mixed metals. At the time I wore silver exclusively – my engagement and wedding rings are white gold – so I had never grappled with this question myself. But I’ve since started incorporating some gold tones into my jewelry wardrobe and tinkered with mixing. So now I believe you can go one of four routes: Don’t care, wear all one or the other, mix intentionally, or include a bridging piece. DON’T CARE I know many women who have gold wedding/everyday rings and wear other jewelry in silver or gold without gi ..read more

Back in June, I grabbed coffee with a friend I hadn’t spoken to in nearly ten years. We’d known each other since the third grade, and I was simply elated to have found her again after such a long separation. We caught each other up as best we could, and much of that catching-up involved me jawing extensively about this blog. Since she’d known me looooooong before I gave a hoot about color mixing or proportion or figure flattery, she asked, “How did you become interested in style, anyway?” And I found myself articulating something important that I’m not sure I’ve ever shared. How did I become ..read more

Reader Nancy e-mailed this question to me: I think it would be great if you would write an article about shopping with others. I have problems with this, stemming from shopping with my mom as a teenager. I have had more body issues from those awkward times than from most other experiences. What made me uncomfortable were the comments about clothing that didn’t fit or flatter. If I tried on a pair of pants that didn’t fit, she would say something like “your hip to waist ratio is off, those pants make you look out of proportion”, or if a shoe made my legs look stumpy, she would tell me I should ..read more

When it comes to shopping, I’m the first to acknowledge that I’ve got it pretty easy. I’m a 10/12, or medium/large in just about everything and a size 8M shoe, which means my biggest woe is that my size is often sold out. But I’m not petite or plus-sized or tall, my feet aren’t small or large, my calves aren’t wide or narrow … I’m shaped more or less how manufacturers want me to be shaped. But I know that many, many, MANY women are challenged to find quality, stylish clothing that fits their marvelously unique forms. Many of you are petite or plus-sized or tall, or have feet that ar ..read more

[This post discusses dieting, exercise, and fat-shaming.] A friend sent me these infographics about cultural paradigms. The two featured are shame/honor which is described as a central paradigm in some Eastern cultures and guilt/righteousness which is attributed to Western cultures, with fear/power getting a passing mention but no spotlight. Big ideas associated with broad generalizations, and I’m a little uncomfortable with the idea that “most peoples of the world” ascribe to one of these models. However, all three can be applied to how we discuss weight, weight loss, and fitness i ..read more

Reader Brenda sent this question my way: I think that normcore is relatively pejorative. It connotes boring and plain, when most of what I’ve seen labeled normcore leads me to think “classic.” I’d love to hear what you think about that. One thing I’m wondering is if this “trend” has any staying power or if this is a comma in the essay of fashion. It seems obvious that classic items should be here to stay, but sometimes fashion is far from obvious. Quick refresher: Normcore is a term coined by writer Fiona Duncan (or really, by a friend of hers … but she wrote the NYT article). It describes th ..read more