As it does for many an ardent feminist, Purim  holds great importance to me.  I love Queen Esther’s story so much, in fact, that when I converted to Judaism several years ago, I took the titular character’s name in homage to her bravery in the face of adversity. Well, to be precise, I took what is believed to be Esther’s given name: Hadassah. Though generally supportive, my Rabbi seemed a little surprised by this, and – in a tone that suggested genuine curiosity – inquired why I went with Hadassah over Esther.  I don’t remember exactly what I said to him, but I do remember havin ..read more

These flaky, gluten-free cookies are eaten for Norouz, the Persian New Year, and by Persian Jews for the holiday of Purim since both holidays often fall close together on the calendar. The story of Purim takes place in ancient Persia, so it is wonderfully appropriate that these Persian treats include rose or orange blossom water to evoke the floral-scented air of the royal palace gardens where Esther so often walked. And, of course, the poppy seeds are part of many Purim dishes with various meanings including the destruction of the murderous Haman as we crunch the seeds with our teeth. Nan E ..read more

I really wished our embryos were kids. But not because an Alabama judge has decided they are. The day before the first of many uterine surgeries, our fertility doctor called with the results of our first IVF cycle. After twelve days of twice daily injections burning and bruising my body, 10 eggs were retrieved from my ovaries. For a healthy 38 year old with normal labs this was a true success. And we had privilege: as a heterosexual couple with good enough health insurance near the best medical care in the world, we had all the genetic material we needed. Those 10 eggs were fertilized through ..read more

Not all who wander are lost. In fact, JRR Tolkien’s adage is an apt metaphor for memoirs written in essays, where wandering (and wondering( is exactly how the author makes the attempt—for the essay, after the French word “essai,” is just that—an attempt at expression and an effort in finding answers to a conundrum or preoccupation. S.L. Wisenberg’s endeavor in The Wandering Womb: Essays in Search of Home (University of Massachusetts Press, 2023) is to show the reader (and herself) how the yearning to belong and feel at home has haunted her from her childhood, always acutely aware of her differ ..read more

There is a modern legend that in the early days of women’s ordination as rabbis, a rabbinical school professor stood up and said: “Judaism has a bracha for every single human experience we undergo.” The women in the room—knowing the incredulity of that statement—laughed. Because while it’s true that while Judaism has blessings for after using the bathroom or for hearing thunder, we don’t have that kind of ritual content for the myriad of experiences specific to women.  Now, decades later, I cannot help but remain frustrated at the lack of imagination in mainstream Jewish ritual ..read more

Two Jews, three opinions: it’s one of those stereotype-meets-truths attached to Judaism, a tradition, as we so often hear, that holds back-and-forth discourse as paramount. The Torah begins with two different versions of the creation story, and of course the Talmud is rife with Rabbinical discussion, debate, and even disagreement.  In short, Jews are a people famous for intelligent debate. Why, then, are we so eager to tear each other apart when it comes to the war in Gaza and all issues related to Israel in particular? Hamas’ violent attacks against Israeli Jews on October 7th was a terr ..read more

Jerusalem, December 2023. My oldest child, a child of two passports, is 19 years old. Young enough to think that something changes when you turn twenty, old enough to count as an adult. If she were taken hostage, not only would they call her an adult, but she would also be classified as a combatant, although her stripes and beret, her pin, all signify that she serves in the Education Corps. (This is how we think now.)  And so I am inordinately relieved when she is home for the weekend, beside me, warm on the couch, sleeping, reading. Reading, sleeping. My daughter may be the only sol ..read more

A home can be both a place of violence and a place of utmost belonging, and sometimes both at once. When people find out I’m from Memphis—when they realize I’m a Jew from the South—they sometimes say, I’m glad you got out. I flinch, pained at the assumption that I, too, am glad, rather than bereft. My debut collection of poems, Dear Memphis, is a love letter to the home I had to leave to be myself.  The ancient exodus from Egypt is our most well-known departure, but lately I’ve been circling another exile. There’s a parsha, a Torah portion, in Genesis in which Hagar, whose name means stra ..read more

Sometimes you have to be open to the possibility of irrational, unexpected joy. Despite expectations. After October 7, I thought my little eight-person chapter of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom might be facing its end. As a local branch of a national organization we were four Jewish women and four Muslim women, and had been meeting for four years, first in person then, post-Covid, on Zoom. The organization’s grassroots model looks like this: Jewish and Muslim women come together to get to know each other, and then stand up to prejudice together. Each chapter needs a Jewish and a Muslim co-cha ..read more

I think a lot about the red carpet of the 2018 Golden Globe Awards. It was the year Tarana Burke’s #MeToo movement went viral and every celebrity had a glammed-up survivor on her arm.  Since then, we’ve deemed it “politically correct” to #believesurvivors – an important (and insufficient) step in creating a society that respects and values women.  After the gender-based violence that occurred on October 7th and the recent spate of sexual assault stories coming out in New York in response to it’s statute of limitations extention, I’m wondering what it means for all of us, collectively ..read more