I was recently asked how one can come to terms with all the suffering and injustice in the world without falling into a deep depression, knowing that there is only so much you can do to change it. Almost every depression I’ve ever experienced came from thoughts like these, and I’ve been searching my whole life for an answer. I’ve looked to religion, philosophy, literature, history, science, and more, and I haven’t yet found a satisfactory one. More than that, I doubt anyone ever will. I don’t think we can ever come to terms with the suffering in this world. It would be impossible. But I also d ..read more

Have you ever taken a drug and felt better immediately only to later be told that it takes hours or days or weeks for it to kick in?  Did you feel foolish?  You shouldn’t. That was just you harnessing the glorious power of the placebo. The placebo effect has been used in medicine as far back as the 1500s, but nowadays, it is generally used simply as a way to test the efficacy of “real” treatments.  For decades, it has suffered ridicule, been called the sign of a weak mind, and even used as evidence that the patient was faking the illness in the first pla ..read more

People who struggle with depression and anxiety often worry that they are “faking it”.  Google the question, and you will see over 490,000 results.  If you are plagued with these doubts, it is time to let them go.  Notice the accusatory tone you are taking with yourself. “Am I ‘faking it'”?  You are essentially calling yourself a fraud.  That is a classic symptom of depression, and here’s why it happens: The Voice in Your Head. Depression distorts your thinking and makes you believe that you are fundamentally flawed. Your brain turns against you an ..read more

You know those times when you’re minding your own business, and out of the blue, an old memory pops into your brain, making you cringe?  Suddenly, you’re back in time, reliving the event as if it were happening now?  This exercise will help you strip that memory of its power over you.  Try it the next time you find yourself at the mercy of a drama from your past. Step 1:  Pick a Troubling Memory. Think about a memory that often pops up in your head and upsets you.  Give it your full attention.  Don’t try to get it out of your mind.  Don’t try to minimize it ..read more

There’s a lovely Jewish ritual called Tashlich, which in English means to “cast off.”  After atoning for your sins on Yom Kippur, you then throw breadcrumbs into a moving body of water on Rosh Hashana to symbolize casting off those sins to begin the new year with a fresh start.  As someone who tends toward self-recrimination, I look forward to Tashlich every year, I am consistently moved by the lightness I feel afterward. It always made me feel a bit silly to feel so good, given that nothing had actually changed in my life from before the ritual.  However, it appears a ..read more

Do you deserve happiness?  I don’t.  How do I know?  My brain tells me on a regular basis. I always thought that the one thing I could count on was the knowledge that I was a good person.  So, of course, when my brain can’t break through my defenses with its usual abuse, this is its go-to fall back. First it humors me.  “You’re right; life is good”! It counts my blessings with me. We have a moment, my brain and I. And then – Bam! – the sucker punch to the gut.  “You don’t deserve this life.”  It shows me movies of my past, all of the worst things I ..read more

“Think positive.”  “Your thoughts create your reality.”  We’ve all heard it.  Every great self-help book preaches some variation on this theme.  In fact, there is evidence that changing your habitual thoughts can actually change your brain in ways that will support your new way of thinking. The question is HOW can I change my thoughts?    Affirmations? Visualization? Gratitude? All of these practices have their place, and they can excite and motivate you when you already feel great, but if you don’t believe them, the cognitive dissonance will only make you fe ..read more

Feelings of worthlessness frequently plague people suffering from depression. Your cognitive distortions ensure it.  Don’t engage with the thoughts. For one thing, when you attempt to refute the thoughts, your brain will relentlessly argue and search your entire life for “evidence” that you are inadequate.  For another, your worthiness is not dependent on a good or bad deed anyway, and thinking that it does will just ensure that you constantly judge yourself. Instead, zoom out.  By Nasa (http://imgur.com/gallery/HiFTQvM) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons You ..read more

Your brain lies to you on a regular basis.  How do we know?  Follow the steps in this video: Your thoughts bring on feelings, and your feelings bring on more thoughts.  Think them long enough, and they become beliefs.  Your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are the building blocks of your self-concept. So when your thoughts turn negative, your self-esteem takes a beating. The good news is that our thoughts are determined by what we focus on, and focus is something we can change. If you took the 10-day challenge, you have begun to notice your go-to thoughts.  Compar ..read more

After years of habitual negative thoughts and anxieties, your brain is like a sludge covered  car engine. It still works; it just needs some care and cleaning to reveal the shine.   The happy memories, the peace, the joy – they’re all there somewhere; they’re just hidden by the grime. The obvious solution would be to meditate – clear your head as you would clear the crud.  Well, I don’t know about you, but the thought of sitting in a dark room, trying to quiet my mind sends me into a panic attack.  I don’t trust my mind for one minute to leave me in peace.&nb ..read more