Fostering is a road paved with little dramas. I remember learning in school of a UK Prime Minister who was asked what's the hardest thing to deal with. The expected answer was "the economy" or "foreign affairs". No. He replied "Events dear boy, events". In other words the things that happen that weren't planned. Then suddenly there they are in your lap and you have to make up your own solutions. This happened; Late one Friday night we heard a plaintive moan coming from the kitchen downstairs. There it was again, this time lower in tone. Then it came again, this time on its way to being a ..read more

 I haven't taken in an emergency placement for a long while, mainly because there's been no room at the inn. If you have a foster placement in your home they're cautious about introducing an emergency case. I didn't look forward to our first one because my thing was wanting to get down to work with the child for a meaningful period of time. Emergency placements don't last long.  Unless the fostering parents declare they want to keep the child on.  That was the other bit I found hard. I wanted them all to stay. If your heart's in the right place in fostering, I thought to myself ..read more

A question has just been posted in connection with a piece I wrote in March 2019 entitled "Fostering and Studs", the sender is anonymous, which is often the best thing, to respect the child's privacy. "I have a kinship foster child for 2 years now and is begging me to let her have her navel pierced! She is 15 and has had a very troubled past but now has turned a corner and is really thriving. Apart from the fact that she still has to have involvement from social services and hates to be reminded that officially she is still a child in care often telling them they are not needed and that we are ..read more

 Pets and fostering. I see it as a happy marriage. If a fostering family has no pets I'm certainsure Burtonsure a non-pet fostering home is just as able to do the business as one with a daft dog or a curious cat. But I have found down the years that a pet can be a plus. It brings a dimension to the home that can help the child's experience enormously. For starters if there's a family pet the new foster child is not bottom of the pile. When I say bottom of the pile I'm looking at it from the foster child's point of view; wrestled from their home, removed from their family - which has 'fail ..read more

 I've always tried not to pass on advice, or at least if I feel I must, I try to do it sparingly and above all modestly. I can't always be right. When our first-born was a baby I used to wheel him around the shops in a pushchair. I was constantly beset by people wanting to "Oooo" and "Aaaah" at him. Then they'd offer me advice. I didn't ask their advice, they simply did. I guess it did them good, took them back to happy memories of their first-born. I had a T shirt made up with the words "No More Advice" printed on it, but never wore it. When someone asks for my advice I generally work ou ..read more

 This is going to sound like an offload. Because it is. An offload skillfully disguised as a reveal about how we foster parents embed our fostering in everything else that's going on in the home. The normal family stuff. Which from time to time is a bit much. So; last night I slept on the sofa. I slept on the sofa to be with our big dog, who yesterday had an operation to replace her cruciate ligament, which she snapped. An artificial ligament was put in as a replacement. Major operation.  We're also looking after another dog, a wee one. She belongs to the sister of one of our two dau ..read more

What do you make of these words? "What is Fostering? Fostering refers to the process of providing temporary care and support to children and young people who cannot live with their birth families for various reasons. Fostering is typically arranged by local authorities or non-governmental organisations (NGOs) that work to ensure the safety and well-being of vulnerable children. Foster carers, also known as foster parents, are responsible for providing a stable, safe, and nurturing home environment for the children in their care. They may provide short-term or long-term care, depending on the ..read more

I'm not going to go on - again - about why the whole business of Contact could be improved. Instead I'm going to sing one of its genuine praises that deserves to be sung. Contact is where a foster child is given contact, usually for an hour once a week, with a significant other, usually a parent. When you foster a child it can take a long time before you get a really good picture of who your foster child is. Of course, you can never get a full picture because the picture is always changing, hopefully for the better. If the child isn't developing then they need help. Some children, when taken i ..read more

 One of the biggest changes in family life over the last few years has given all families something to think about, especially families who foster. It's got to do with how families hunker down in the evening. When I was a child there was no central heating so the entire family huddled together around in the one heated room in the colder months. Only one source of heat; some type of fire. And there was only one source of entertainment, the telly. So, out of necessity, families were all together every evening 'til bedtime. Very different now. Family members want their own space, their own p ..read more

 A fellow foster parent added a comment to the piece "Slipping through my fingers". It almost brought a tear to my eye. The person spoke of not being able to forget a child who slipped through their fingers years and years ago. Aren't some people truly wonderful. There's a lot of love in that home of theirs! Let'S think for a moment about how much care goes into how a foster parent expresses the different types of love. See, it's a tricky concept.  What am I talking about? It's not "tricky"… it's a blinkin' minefield! Try this one; every morning when our own children set off for scho ..read more