Are you really communicating with your partner? The love of another person can offer us the keys to greater self-knowledge and a secure emotional attachment bond. Only when we have this are we able to get to the very heart of who we are on an authentic level. This is because mutual, healthy love enables us to find a sense of purpose, meaning and happiness, which then leads to feelings of appreciation, respect and self-validation, and the kind of relationship we all ultimately want. However, many relationships experience huge challenges, and the principle reason for this is due to differing a ..read more

How can one person whom we love so much rock the very foundation of who we are? And how can we recover, heal and move past these feelings of loss and grief, once this emotional attachment bond has been broken? Those are the questions I’d like to answer right now. The following is designed to assist anyone who may be experiencing feelings of heartbreak after a significant relationship has come to an end, or even someone who is currently in a relationship, but is frightened and fearful that the beloved may be about to leave. If any of those situations applies to you, read on… An Assault on th ..read more

For help with feelings of jealousy please click on the image. Jealousy… It’s a horrid way to be feeling, but who among us can say we’ve never experienced it? The worst kind, though, in my opinion, is when we experience the pricklings of suspicion and doubt in our love relationships, feeling jealous of those with whom our significant other is sharing his or her time and energy. I have a video on the subject of jealousy – perhaps you’re here because you’ve already seen it. Whether you’ve seen it or not, you will already know that jealousy is an emotionally crippling sensation, with unwanted th ..read more

For help with the fear of abandonment please click on the image. The fear of abandonment in an addictive relationship Throughout my career as a couples’ therapist and love addiction specialist, I have seen countless people clinging desperately to a relationship that they know is harming them. Whether they know this explicitly or on some deeper level is different from person to person, but they do know. Dealing with unrequited love can be very difficult. But why should this be? What are the things that keep us returning time and again to – or maybe prevent us from ever trying to leave ..read more

For help with love addiction or with any of the symptoms described on this page please click on the image above. What does it mean to be a “love addict”? A “love addict” is someone who becomes dependent on, and enmeshed with, a relationship and the attention of another, to the extent that their life becomes unmanageable. The love addict typically demands an exaggerated level of reassurance, and needs to know immediately that the love they experience with the other person is being reciprocated, otherwise intense feelings of panic and anxiety can become overwhelming. Love addicts cling to the ..read more

For help with love withdrawal please click on the image. When a relationship ends, the love addict is plunged into love addiction withdrawal, a state not dissimilar to coming off a drug, because in essence, that’s exactly what it is. Here are 3 ways to defeat love withdrawal and come out the other side stronger, and more emotionally independent. Forgive yourself if you are stuck in self-blame cycle It is not your fault. You are good enough as you are, and just because he or she didn’t return your love, it doesn’t mean that you are not a lovable and worthy person. You are. Remember, when w ..read more

For help with addictive relationships please click on the image. If you are stuck in an addictive relationship you may find these practical tips of benefit: Do something you are passionate about. Choose something that gives your life meaning and purpose. Remember, this has happened to you as you have “projected” all that you are, and all your passion onto the person of addiction. Stop seeking approval and validation from others. Remember, it is only YOU who can accomplish this. Self-validation is the only thing that matters. Stop “abandoning” yourself in the relationship. This way you can f ..read more

For help with love equilibrium please click on the image. Is your relationship in balance? As a relationship therapist, couples’ counsellor and love addiction specialist, my experience has taught me that the way we love is often at the heart of an emotionally withholding, damaging, addictive and co-dependent relationship. And the way we love is ultimately influenced by whether or not the love equilibrium is balanced. You see, when two people love each other equally, or display their love equally, harmony ensues. But if this isn’t the case, then the relationship dynamic quickly takes the form ..read more

For help with unrequited love please click on the image. Last week I was in a session with a client of mine, Sarah.* During our conversation Sarah said something to me that I’ve heard literally hundreds of times during my time as a relationship therapist and love addiction specialist. Here’s what she said: “He feels like my soul mate, it feels so right, and so familiar. But if this is the case, why can’t he reciprocate my love?” A person who feels like they have found a ‘soul mate’, but whose feelings are not reciprocated, is suffering one of the most common traits of love addiction –   ..read more

For help with painful love please click on the image. Loving too much is not a love story: surviving an addictive relationship Loving too much is when “being in love is experienced as being in emotional pain,” Robin Norwood (Women Who Love Too Much, 1985). For over 25 years I have been working as a relationship therapist, grief counsellor, couples’ therapist and a specialist in love addiction and co-dependency, helping people overcome some of the most profound emotions experienced when romantic love is impeded, thwarted, impossible or unrequited. These include heartbreak and loss, love withd ..read more