My guest blog today is from Sarah Havers at Stewarts Law. www.stewartslaw/people/sarah-havers Love in the time of COVID: Divorce enquiries surge as couples return to pre-lockdown life.  Law firm Stewarts witness record numbers of divorce enquiries as restrictions lift and ‘normal’ life beckons As couples across the UK face the prospect of returning to a pre-Covid world and the freedoms of pre-pandemic life, leading law firm Stewarts has reported a significant spike in new divorce enquiries. In June 2021, there was a 136% increase in individuals seeking divorce advice compared to January ..read more

Are you preoccupied with what your ex is doing or saying? Do you spend much of your time talking about him or her to anyone who may listen? Are you full of anger and indignation about what you have heard from ‘friends’? Sometimes it can feel like you are making a career out of linking everything you are experiencing to what your ex has done to you. All these feelings are normal, but you will recognise that they are not helpful and really don’t make you feel any better. Those feelings are exhausting. They are a way of keeping you stuck in a landscape of pain and negativity. They feel like self ..read more

This blog is written by Michael Rowlands, Senior Partner at Kingsley Napley: The American writer Jonathan Franzen suggested that “nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people”. As a divorce lawyer I see, daily, the fall out of such relationships and about as frequently I am asked to agree that “my husband / wife is a narcissist”.  I read a story in the news this weekend of a Swiss civil servant who had sent naked “selfies” to her work colleagues.  Surrounded by Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, does all this “me, me, me” equal narcissism or just an amplification of mode ..read more

I thought I would share with you an article written by FLIP to help separated couples make contact arrangements for their children. It involves an App called Our Family Wizard. https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/  The article follows: For many separated parents, finding a system of communication and organisation that enables them to co-parent well is not always straightforward. The system will usually comprise telephone calls, text messages, emails, WhatsApp messages to name but a few. Sometimes the system works well. Other times, it breaks down and can lead to confusion and misundersta ..read more

I read with interest about CAFCASS ‘ground breaking’ report on how to deal with Parental Alienation.  There are many children who on divorce and separation have been subtly or not so subtly alienated from one parent by the other.  The result is that they are ‘frightened’ of or hostile to one parent and therefore don’t see them. The parent who has enabled this or perpetrated it then gets the result that he or she wants which is to have the children all to themselves. Of course the impact on the children is terrible.  To grow up believe in the horror of one parent if they are not ..read more

You may be going into the festive period feeling not quite so festive.  You may have an idea that this will be your last Christmas a couple, or it may be your first Christmas post separation.  These times are difficult, not least because they highlight some very painful feelings.  You may be feeling lonely even though you have arrangements and will be seeing friends or relatives. Life moves at quite a pace and you will be looking back at this period quicker than you thought it was possible.  Dig deep for what resources you have and your capacity to hold on to those parts of ..read more

Guest Blog by James Pirrie of FLIP. www.flip.co.uk Children and the legal systemPerhaps 10% of divorcing couples become stuck over arrangements for their minor children, often moving towards mediation or the increasingly over-stretched courts to find their solutions. Specialist family lawyers, like those at my firm Family Law in Partnership, can sign-post other less-conflicted couples towards organisations that will help them to steer their children safely through the divorce or separation. The challenges for older childrenBut what happens if the children are older? The growth of the grey divo ..read more

We are living longer and in the 21st Century, we have jettisoned the idea that you ‘make your bed, you have to lie in it.’ People increasingly feel they are entitled to a second chance and once children have begun to leave home, or elderly parents no longer need to be looked after, people look at their relationships and re-evaluate.  The possibility of new relationships or a new adventure is no longer only the domain of the young. Divorcing at any time of life takes courage and resolve, but the increased statistic of divorcing in your 50s shows that there is life to be had and untying fro ..read more

When you are experiencing overwhelming feelings and can’t think that life will ever change, it is uself to keep a diary or journal of how you feel and what you are doing on a daily basis.   The act of writing things down is often cathartic and importantly when you read back what you have written perhaps a week or two later you see how feelings change so often and so quickly.  It is a really good way of seeing that things aren’t static and do move.  Feeling upset or depressed can make you feel that you have always felt like this and will always feel like this in the future.   ..read more

As with so many government initiatives, the policy decision to push separating families away from lawyers and into mediation (or at least those who rely on legal aid) has failed spectacularly.  The referral rate to mediation has dropped dramatically since legal aid was withdrawn from most family law cases.  The government apparently failed to realise (despite being told by anyone who knew anything about it) that it was the lawyers who made the referrals! It is though not all doom and gloom.  For people who can afford professional advice, lawyers are working increasingly construc ..read more