I actually just found a draft post that I started last November - hoping to catch y'all up on a few things, but I obviously started crying or eating or whatever and never finished it.  For the record, I do not condone such behavior.   (and I have no clue why this paragraph is indented like a poem, but I can't fix it.) So the kid update, first:  As of this writing, the gang, plus all their rowdy friends, are all still here with me at home.  And other than the mess and the non-stop wet towels and balled up socks, I actually don't know what I'll do when they all go back ..read more

Dearest friends,.....  it's been a hot minute since I've written on this site.  And I can explain. ... Sounds like retro-me in college on one too many an occasion.    And in my fully transparent, no secrets on this page, truth, ... y'all, I've been in bad way and there just aren't any nice words to say it.  I see that my last published blog post was seven months ago, but to me it feels like a lifetime.  I will say  -  short version - that a few months ago I hit probably an all time low on this new journey and had to admit to myself and others that I co ..read more

birthday workout with someone I love How to sum up weeks of crazy in a few short paragraphs:  well, .... with bullet points, of course.  1.  I've been laid off work for the next indeterminate amount of time... Which means I really need to lay off the chocolate in the coming days.  2.  Kid 1 was given 3 days notice to get to Mississippi, pack up his dorm room and move out.  Obviously before the world was scheduled to end by X o'clock on the third day.  Proud to report he made it and is unhappily and bored at home without the stimuli of college life to entertain him.  Pray for an adjustment fo ..read more

a little throwback to way back when As I sit here on a rainy Sunday afternoon and pore over the fascinating article titled, Pulmonary Function Decline in Firefighters and Non-Firefighters in South Korea, a lovely little read about all the crap that firefighters' bodies go through and people don't even know it..... I thought I would pop on in here and catch y'all up on some things.   I guess #1 would be that I still read things, things and more things like, Pulmonary Function Decline in South Korean firefighters.... not because I want to actually know anything about any of it, but because I j ..read more

So I took Kid 3 to my hair salon to get a haircut.  Mistake #1 - as it actually has the word, SALON, in the name.  So he walked in, smelled the hair product overload and stormed out, waiting outside on the sidewalk till I basically threatened to Instagram that very tantrum to the nations right then and there.  So he gave up and trudged onward toward his doom.  Mistake #2 - I forgot that his football coach's wife works there.  So now he's afraid that his life as a tough as nails teenage athlete is over.    And Kid 2 and I, along with my sister in law, went for a sail on White Rock Lake a co ..read more

At this time last year we had our Christmas tree up and lights on it  - simply because the Boy Scouts came to clean up our yard and do some nice things - and all I know is that they left and we had a tree.  I know, however,  that we didn't decorate it because the day after Christmas - as fast as I could - when I took the tree down, it was a really quick job. And I have no idea if we had presents last year.  I really didn't care.  I couldn't physically or emotionally care about anything more than getting my bootie out of the bed each day and praying that it would, please Dear God, if you're ..read more

I've actually been terrified of looking back over the notes I made about a year ago.  Specifically, I opened a Google document to track my days - the notes about all the Estate mess, notes about what I would tell a new widow based on my experience, and mostly notes about the timeline.  Because having  already been through a few days of not knowing what I was doing, where I was going, or how the &*%$ to pay for it or even get myself out of bed to try - I had enough sense to write some things down.  Now I can't make myself look at it.   And I guess I would want to start writing today wit ..read more

Sort of like a debriefing after a dangerous and harrowing mission - which these past couple of weeks have totally been.... um, here's the news.  And you may need a snack to get through it.  Y'all, would anyone like to dress up as me for Halloween and take my place for just a day?  I'll pay you a million dollars.  In Monopoly money.   First, my benefits battle update, as many of you have already heard, ... I lost this round with the City of Dallas, and tried to handle it as gracefully and graciously as possible given my super sized level of discomfort and disagreement with the outcome.  But I ..read more

A random continuation....   Today my back is hurting so I sit here with an ice pack down my pants hoping the old Zumba hip heals up in time for work tomorrow.  And I continue to pray that God has a better plan for me than to be the oldest living aerobics instructor on the planet.  Though I continue to ask for a heads up, He's good at keeping secrets.   This past couple of weeks I got a new roof on the house.  Did I need it?  Again, God only knows  - and yet another of life's mysteries... but the contractor said I did,  so I did.  Someone will probably come by and try to sell me a horse soo ..read more

Y'all, this past weekend I decided to keep the hands and mind busy by painting my 3 section hallway.  And it was basically a long, drawn out torture-fest and I listened to lots of country music and played a game of Would you Rather all by myself.  ....  Would you rather be a professional house painter or a prostitute?  I actually had no quick answer for that one, and had to dig a little deeper with follow up scenarios  - would I be the kind of prositute that works off a street corner or the kind that works the daytime shift at the Hilton?   And as far as painting goes, I'm pretty much of t ..read more