Gary Thomas » Divorce
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Gary Thomas is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the study of Scripture, church history, and the Christian classics to foster spiritual growth and deeper relationships within the Christian community.
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
Emily is a gifted interior design artist. After the birth of her third child and her decision to homeschool her children, she decided to sell off all her design books, close the business bank account, and focus on her family.
When Chip and Joanna Gaines became household names, Emily and her husband Doran watched Fixer Upper religiously. Emily began missing the life she had left behind. She told Doran one evening, “I have this dream: when the kids are older and I can get back into interior design, I want to start a company called Woods Design House” (Woods is their last name).
Doran listened a ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
When doing premarital counseling, I’ve found that the session when I take couples through their “Prepare and Enrich” test results is often the most helpful and revealing session of all. The test tells couples where they are likely to stumble and serves as a general measure of overall compatibility.
As a tool, it can be very revealing:
“Oh, that’s why she responds that way.”
“That makes so much sense. Now I understand why he does that.”
It also warns couples where hot-button items might threaten their relationship and suggests various points in the relationship that need to be addressed.
I’ve ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
Have you ever known someone who cares about their physical health so much they forget to enjoy life?
Everything they eat, everything they put on their bodies (soap, toothpaste, shampoo, sunscreen) have to be approved by the right magazines and “authoritative” organic websites. More than they fear sin, they fear parabens and sodium laurel sulfate in their cosmetics, and trans fats and high fructose corn syrup in their foods.
But you wonder, does their soul suffer from all the stress and worry over their physical health? I heard a guy determined to push back from the weekly advice about what ne ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
A
few weeks ago, a good friend of ours texted both Lisa and me to ask what was
going on. She had had a terrifying dream about us the night before. “You and
Lisa were in this tall tower,” she explained, “and this red plane was headed
straight for you. I could see both you and Lisa overcome with sorrow and the
plane was aimed right at you to finally take you out, but we couldn’t find a
way to get into the tower to help you. I spent most of the night praying for
you two. I couldn’t stop crying.”
God
had “outed” our pain, so to speak, so we shared the details with her. When I later
explained al ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
What if one of the things we need is
something we don’t want?
One of the things I love about marriage
is that it can lead us to places where we will be all but forced to rely on God
like we never have before.
My friend Rett gulped deeply when the
doctor told him that his wife Kristy had to have a particular operation
that could keep her in bed for several days and require special care for a few
weeks after that.
Rett
is a cognitive man, a brilliant lawyer, but he tends to live in his head with
concepts and arguments and a quick wit. He makes a good living and can hire
people to ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
My love for Scripture is matched only by
my love for Jesus, and the love of one is the expression of my love for the
other. Everything I aspire to be as a husband is because of what the Bible
calls me to be. And since Jesus was never married, I have to take the bulk of
my instruction as a husband from the other words of Scripture, which I take to
be as authoritative as the “red letters” of Jesus.
My fellow husbands, what I’ve found is that when I rightfully understand and seek to submit to all that God’s Word calls me to be and do as a husband, I don’t have any time left over to wonde ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
Have you ever kept a
toxic person in your life because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings?
It’s almost comical
when you think about it—they’re terrorizing you, but you still don’t want to
offend them.
I received the
following message from a reader of When to Walk Away, and it’s just the
kind of story authors love to hear, a woman who was finally set free on
multiple levels after decades of letting a toxic person shrink her life.
Hopefully, it will be
an inspiration for many of you as well:
Hi Gary, I’ve been meaning to write and express my gratitude for the gift of your ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
With
good intentions, we often warn single Christians about the relational damage associated
with premarital sex. In a noble desire to urge single believers to follow God’s
design of abstinence before marriage, we can unwittingly sabotage God’s
design after marriage if we’re not just
as pastoral claiming the victory of God over confessed sin as we are
warning Christians away from prior sin.
Satan
assaults us with three attacks, not
one. He tempts (1 Cor. 7:5), yes, but then
he also accuses us after we give in to the temptation (Rev. 12:10), and
finally he condemns us as forever wrecked ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
I
like giving and receiving gifts.
My
wife Lisa doesn’t.
In
my young stupid pride, I used to double down on gift giving opportunities, find
something really creative to give to Lisa, perhaps a bit too expensive for our
current budget and Lisa would be touched and moved but feel guilty that I was (in her words) “better” at giving gifts
than she was.
Some
things don’t change. Just prior to our 34th wedding anniversary I
found something I thought Lisa would appreciate. When she saw the wrapped box
on our table the morning of our anniversary, I noticed that insecure look on
her face ..read more
Gary Thomas » Divorce
4y ago
A recent news article caught my eye: a would-be bride caught her soon-to-be husband sexually assaulting an inebriated bridesmaid the day before the wedding. What astonished me even more was the last sentence of the article: friends of the couple “confirmed” that the ceremony went on as planned…
My heart rejoices at the healing and mutual support that a wise marriage brings. I love officiating at weddings and attending weddings of young people and those who are getting a new chance at love later in life. But when I hear that a would-be bride sees such monstrous behavior and still walks down the ..read more