An exploration of the Fawn stress response
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
Really good explanation on ‘fawning’ here. Big girl spent a lot of time doing this at school. It left her overwhelmed and exhausted. The fact that no one ever believed us, left US overwhelmed and exhausted. Big girls spends a lot less time fawning now that she receives her education at home, where she feels safe to be herself. Here With You Parenting What is Fawn? Fawn is a stress response that allows us to imitate a “safe and social” ventral vagal state, even when we are feeling threatened. It happens when it is either not possible, or it would increase danger to ourselves, to Fight or ..read more
Visit website
Blame game
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
Have you read the new report? Parental blame is institutionalised. I know, we already know this, they already know this, the government already know this. The DfE certainly already know this. But here’s another piece of evidence anyway. Institutionalising parent carer blame Having been in this very situation, I know that if the social workers and their managers, that bullied us when we asked for help, were asked why they took the approach they did. They would say their approach was appropriate because they had ‘significant concerns’. Unless you really dig deeper, you won’t see that their conc ..read more
Visit website
Spend now, save later……
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
I can’t begin to explain how true this is!! The social workers that bullied us for a year, the conferences, the lies, the core group meetings, the reports, the time taken by all the people involved. It would have been cheaper to just give us the multi disciplinary assessments we’d been asking for, for years! Ultimately they ending up giving us the MDA’s via the child protection proceedings anyway, but it was kinda forced upon us then, with us not having much say in the assessments and being made to feel it was a punishment rather than the support they’d failed to provide. The education Depart ..read more
Visit website
Bake a cake……
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
I’ve been thinking about the ‘bake a cake’ suggestion that so many of us have been told to do by ‘professionals’. Offered as a solution to violence, running away, dangerous behaviours, anger etc I baked cakes with big girl when she was younger, it wasn’t fun, her need for control and to be contrary outweighed any pleasure we might have got from the activity, but we continued. It’s what mothers and daughters do isn’t it. If I tried to bake a cake with big girl now, when she was in a good mood, never mind a bad one, it would be horrendous. She wouldnt follow any instruction. She would strive fo ..read more
Visit website
Another chapter in our story
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
Where to begin…… So much has happened. When I last wrote we were tightly secured in the clutches of the safeguarding team, being beaten and bullied. Lied to and lied about. Silenced. It’s approaching a year since their grasp on us eased. Without evidence or reason. They were forced to loosen their grip as we moved from a child protection plan, to a child in need plan. The irritation on their faces, obvious for all to see. They were left with no choice but to quietly drift away. No cause for their fight, ending their campaign of retribution. All because I dared to complain. Child in need plan c ..read more
Visit website
Early Help, or lack of….
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
Great news from @adoption.uk https://www.adoptionuk.org/blog/the-adoption-barometer-2021-ceo-blog When we adopted the girls we were led to believe we’d be supported by the placing authority and later by our own local authority. The voluntary agency we adopted through reassured us that they would support us for life. In reality we’ve spent most of the last 11 years fighting for support, begging and pleading. Refused assessments of needs, phone calls and emails unanswered, formal complaints ignored. Then when things went wrong, we were blamed and had to fight again but this time to try and prove ..read more
Visit website
I’m Back!
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
It’s been almost 2 years since I was forced to close this blog. I’m back, I’m not quite ready to write yet I don’t think, I also need to work through all the changes on WordPress lol But I’ll write soon, and I have a lot to share! Boy do I have a lot to share ..read more
Visit website
Three things that happen when your autistic child is different at home and at school
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
3y ago
This this this!! faithmummy I am going through a very difficult time with my son. This morning he was carried to his taxi by my husband and myself kicking and screaming. He was stressed, his sister terrified and I was anxious and worried. I haven’t called the school and asked if he is ok because I know what they will say. “He is not like that in school” Reports from school don’t marry with the child at home at all. In school he conforms, is settled and appears happy. At home he can be violent, unpredictable and highly distressed. This creates some problems for school, home and professi ..read more
Visit website
Tired and Grumpy!
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
5y ago
Big girl had a very poor nights sleep last night, she tossed and turned for many hours, unable to switch off her brain, desperate for sleep, but unable to reach it. Today she is tired and grumpy, unable to engage in anything, unable to regulate herself. Can you guess why? The safe guarding social worker came on a Tuesday, big girl, too scared yesterday to ask the question for fear of what the answer might be, went to bed worrying a social worker might be visiting today. Again I ask, how is this sort of ‘help’ helpful!? It isn’t, that’s quite simply the answer. It isn’t helpful at all ..read more
Visit website
The trauma response.
The Family of 5's Journey
by thefamilyof5
5y ago
As expected, the girls all struggled to sleep last night. In particular, Big Girl, she had a very poor nights sleep. I was greeted this morning with anger and irritation. She was tired and anxious. The visit yesterday had triggered a trauma response. She hadn’t been able to regulate herself and had felt increasing levels of anxiety through the night. She was already overwhelmed. Me: help, she’s gonna blow again! Post Adoption social worker: oh dear, not much you can do about the assessment though is there, just let the Safeguarding Social worker know. CAMHS: increase her medication. So much fo ..read more
Visit website

Follow The Family of 5's Journey on FeedSpot

Continue with Google
Continue with Apple
OR