The holidays are approaching and she doesn’t want to wish her ex a merry Christmas at the child drop-offs. Does that make her Scrooge? *** Dear Chump Lady, WTF do we chumps do about holiday greetings from the ex when they drop kids/collect kids and wish us a “Merry Christmas”? The thought of saying “you... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

Second-guessing yourself about leaving is basically the unofficial sport of contemplating a breakup. *** Dear Chump Lady, My husband has cheated on me with two different women over the course of the last year and a half. I found out about one, moved to my mom’s, and then came back to the family home to... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

This funny post appeared on the private Chump Nation Facebook page this week, which spurred a discussion about what lasted longer than your relationship with a cheater? A Friday Challenge was born. Some relationships with cheaters endure, others end quickly like an explosion of food poisoning. Extremely unpleasant, but finite. What has outlasted your cheater?... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

Today’s post goes out to anyone who’s feeling a bit morose about being single at the holidays. Why should I feel morose, Tracy? HUH? Are you saying I’m LESS THAN because I’m alone this time of year? Hey, just because I’m not coupled up wearing matching holiday reindeer sweaters with some Goober doesn’t mean I’m... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

She feels betrayed by the people who knew about her husband’s cheating but didn’t tell her. *** Dear Chump Lady, I have a great deal of anger toward people who knew about my wasband’s cheating, but didn’t do anything to help me. Like telling him that I was a good person who didn’t deserve this,... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

His friends and family want to know why he can’t get along with his cheating ex “for the kids’ sake”? He’s not doing anything uncivil, he just doesn’t want to be friends. *** Dear Chump Lady, My ex-wife did all the classical stuff you describe including “asking for time to figure things out”, blame-shifting, reinventing... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

Her cheater sent her a word salad apology, complete with misspellings. He didn’t intend to hurt her! Can the UBT please decode? *** Dear Chump Lady  I received this email after 6 months of no contact. My gut response was annoyance then anger. I’m not responding. I knew it wasn’t a real apology thanks to reading many... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

He posted his “rules of cheating” on a Reddit-type board, but swears he’s never cheated. She wants confirmation that he had actual affairs before she ends the marriage. *** Dear Chump Lady, A few years ago I discovered that my husband was actively writing on a reddit-style message board. Based on what he wrote, he... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

He’s a serial cheater who wants to change. Can Sex Addicts Anonymous help him? He doesn’t want to be a bad guy. *** Hey Chump Lady, Found your book in the book store. It’s been tough to read, and I guess I’m doing that thing that a lot of asshole guys do — thinking I’m a unicorn,... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more

I think one of the hardest things to learn as a chump are boundaries. Not that chumps are doormats, but we have consciences. And caring makes you particularly vulnerable to FWs. Manipulation and boundary-crossing only succeeds if there’s a caring person there, capable of shame or empathy or feelings of responsibility. You’re so selfish, I... The post appeared first on Chump Lady ..read more