Many couples  in the early stages of their relationship push aside value differences, hoping everything will work out, only to find these differences cause big problems down the track. Differences in values can cause deep resentment between couples and even lead to separation. Many couples say looking back they could see the “orange flags” but ignored them because they were in the throes of love. Not all differences in values are a deal-breaker. Sometimes partners complement each other with their differences.  And sometimes the solution to a difference in values is simply to accept t ..read more

The terms ‘separation counselling’ and ‘divorce counselling’ describe counselling for couples or individuals who want support while they go through the process of formally ending their relationship. The process is the same, regardless of whether they have been legally married or not. In my Sydney practice we see a lot of couples who seek separation counselling because there are children involved and they intend to co-parent them. Finance and asset distribution are also common challenges. And we see individuals who want support and guidance before they start the process of divorce or separation ..read more

The couples who approach me for help when an affair has occurred tend to be the ones who have children together. I think this is because the decision to terminate a relationship when there are children involved is just not that simple.  The reality is it is not easy to break up a family.  Most people tell me they don’t want to see their kids only half the time because of “something that my partner did, not me”.  Most people don’t want to lose half their finances either.  Or their life together.  Or their extended family.  Or even each other. Regardless of how hard ..read more

The lockdown in Sydney has been challenging for all of us, but especially for couples who are working and have children and teenagers in the home. I am hearing this in my couple and family counselling work, and also living it! Parents have found themselves working (sometimes longer hours than before), supervising home schooling, cleaning and then trying to come up with different activities to keep their kids off screens and connected to friends. Many couples tell me they have no time for themselves individually, let alone as a couple – and certainly very little privacy as the kids are always t ..read more

Most relationships are cross-cultural to a degree – two people coming together from different backgrounds, families and environments. For some, differences will be minor and easy to adjust to.  For others, who are trying to accommodate major differences in beliefs, values and ideas, it can be difficult. In my couple and family counselling practice, I often see couples from different backgrounds who struggle to see each other’s perspective and find it difficult to make key life decisions together. Things that initially didn’t seem important when the relationship began can become far m ..read more

In my Sydney family counselling practice, I see many adult families who are struggling with a difficult parent, sibling or child and are using estrangement to manage their relationships.   There may be very good reasons to distance yourself from your family/a family member and put strict boundaries on the type and frequency of contact with them. However, completely cutting off from a family member – in particular a parent – has long-term ramifications not only for the people directly involved but also for future generations.   Why do cut-offs happen? Unresolved hurt or con ..read more

Most couples who come to my Sydney Couples Counselling practice are in crisis. Therapy is often their last hope to save their relationship, and so we need to make progress quickly. Making behaviour changes in your relationship is the quickest way to get your relationship back on track and build the momentum and goodwill necessary to tackle more difficult challenges. Behavioural changes include things like smiling at your partner and saying good morning when you first wake up. They sound basic, but they make the biggest difference in the shortest time. In the field of relationship therapy, thes ..read more

Many people approach the Sydney Couple and Family Specialists for help for school refusal.  Typically, this happens after a child or teen has been school refusing for a couple of months and they have not been able to get anywhere with individual counselling.  School refusal is a complex issue and requires a multifaceted approach.  In order to get a child back to school we often work with parents, the child/teen, other family members and other professionals. It sounds complicated, but it’s the best and fastest way to get results, and your Family Therapist will co-ordina ..read more

As the weeks go on, the stress of COVID-19 is increasing for many of us. It’s really showing up cracks in relationships. So much so, there is an increase in the number of people contacting me to help them separate.  Coronavirus means that now is not a good time to break up. It’s not a good time to sell property.  Not a good time to manage financial settlements. Not a great time to be moving out or moving about.  Not a great time for getting support from extended family and friends. Not a great time to organise parenting plans.  If you are a couple with children, s ..read more

How do we maintain our mental health and continue to work on our relationships in the time of COVID-19 and social distancing? Most mental health practitioners are now conducting sessions via teleconferencing, using either Telehealth or videoconferencing platforms such as Zoom. As a Couple and Family Therapist, I often work with more than one person in a therapy session. I can tell you with confidence that effective therapy work can be done using digital – rather than in-person – connection. As a result of the coronavirus, marriages, relationships and parents are under more stress t ..read more