I’m fleshing some thoughts and conversations into a future book that is considerably off in the future. But I’ve had so many broken-hearted parents of adult children confide in me or ask for words of comfort and advice. I don’t see this being addressed the way it needs to be. On the other hand, I don’t want the paid side of this Substack column to focus on the heartbreak of raising adult children, so we’ll plan on releasing an excerpt about once a month. Your comments will be most welcome, as this is certainly a work in progress (and one of my editors thinks there just isn’t a big enough marke ..read more

After last week’s interview with “Samson,” I asked Belah Rose, founder of Delight Your Marriage, to listen in and offer a response. What I appreciate so much about Belah’s work (apart from the compelling testimonies of healed marriages) is the way she can challenge both men and women. She empathetically helps men be more sensitive to their wives and understand their wives’ patterns of thinking, while also helping wives be more sensitive to their husbands. Plenty of podcasters take one side or the other; Belah is marked by her compassion and understanding for both. She gets what men like Samson ..read more

Did you know that the demographic most likely to commit suicide in the United States is white men over the age of 50? That may not fit the narrative of those who have other agendas, but it should alert us to be sensitive to a growing group of men who feel like they have no advocates and little empathy from pastors. After reading my post Revisiting Enough is Enough, a husband in a difficult marriage sent a thoughtful email asking me if I’d “flip” the advice for men, and then point blank asked, are you more difficult on men than women? Historically, I think I have been, but I also think the ..read more

Happy times in marriage are fun, and I celebrate God and thank Him for every one. But the older I get, the more I realize that often, the difficult times become the most meaningful. That’s been the kind of season Lisa and I are in now. The last two weeks have been among the most tiring of my life, but I wouldn’t give them up for what it’s done for our marriage.  Read this blog on Substack HERE. The post Fall More in Love with Your Spouse by Loving Your Spouse appeared first on Gary Thomas ..read more

It’s been a long journey getting my next book–one that doesn’t focus on marriage–into the publishing assembly line. It’ll be published by Zondervan, and they’ve just signed off on the subject. While they still get to approve the actual manuscript, I’m excited for what this book represents. It took a long time to write, and thanks to Substack, I got more pre-publication, helpful feedback on this book than any book I’ve ever written.  If you’d like to know what the book is about, this video will briefly discuss the individual chapters. We still don’t know what the final title will be–maybe ..read more

The woman on the other line exploded Diana’s life with one question: “Did you know your husband is about to meet my daughter for a rendezvous at the next NASCAR race?” When Ken and Diana’s daughter made some horrible decisions, Diana made their teenager her number one priority. Then the computers went down at Diana’s workplace. As the IT manager, she made getting the computer network back up her second priority. She stayed at the office late and brought work home. Ken was barely hanging in there at priority number three. You can understand Diana’s mindset. When your child is in crisis, it’s no ..read more

The longer I am in ministry, the more I come across parents of adult children who live with self-condemnation because they feel like they weren’t the parents they longed to be. Some of them really did mess up (and I address that here). Others are definitely being too hard on themselves. My job as a pastor is to help them apply God’s word to allow conviction while also offering His forgiveness and grace. This is my first attempt to do that. Can you help me finish it? There are no doubt other mitigating factors that make parenting so difficult I might not have run across. If you’d like to offer ..read more

“Arianna” looked like a new woman. My coworkers marveled when they finally realized that this was the same woman who had come to see me some weeks ago. The first time we had met, Arianna felt beaten down by what was happening (and not happening) in her marriage. She could hardly speak three sentences without reaching for another Kleenex. But one month later she had a light in her countenance, hope in her eyes, and confidence in the way she held her head. The previous meeting, we hardly mentioned strategies to improve her marriage. Instead, we talked about some spiritual truth. Arianna learned ..read more

I was asked to speak at a date night and chose the topic, 5 Words of Comfort for Those in Difficult Marriages. In this video I explain why I chose the topic, and then go into those five words. If you know someone who this could bless, please pass this on. Watch this video on Substack HERE. The post 5 Words of Comfort for Those in Difficult Marriages appeared first on Gary Thomas ..read more

Have you ever started reading a book and thought to yourself, I need this? That happened to me recently when I read an advance copy of The Gift of Limitations by Sara Haggerty. So many books tell us we can do more and be more; Sara suggests spiritual health may be found when we accept less and perhaps even do less. Rather than seeing our limitations as something to overcome, she eloquently makes the case that our limitations aren’t just gifts from God, but a reflection of Jesus, God in the flesh. In addition to the content that moved me so much, this book is a lyrical masterpiece. Ev ..read more