Is this normal? It’s a question that often comes up in coaching. So, what is normal? According to Google the definition of ‘normal’ means conforming to a standard; being usual, typical, or expected. But who says what the standard for normal is, or what is usual, typical, or expected? I’ve got a couple of ways of answering the question in a coaching session.  There is no “normal” in coaching – we are all different.  But is how you’re feeling usual for you? Let me explain with some examples. You might get emotional in a coaching session.  You hadn’t expected to.  It caugh ..read more

Is there something you’re feeling guilty about? I’ve got a pile of books that I would really love to read, but I can never find the time.  I try to read at night before I go to sleep but my eyes just close.  I get through a paragraph a night and then have to reread the same paragraph again the next night.  So there’s not much progress. I need to find time to read during the day.  But I don’t.  Do you know why?  Because it makes me feel guilty.  Most of us will experience feelings of guilt at some point in our lives. You can feel guilty about something you’ve ..read more

I was writing an introduction post to social media the other day when it reminded me of something. A number of years ago I’d recently started a new job. I was at a meeting where I was asked to speak about something.  The meeting ended and a colleague I hadn’t met before walked up to me and asked  “Who exactly are you anyway?” It took me aback a bit at the time. Not the question itself, but the way it was asked. And then it happened again (almost exactly the same words), not long ago at a different kind of meeting outside of work. Both times I remember thinking – “mmm, a bit rude ..read more

It’s amazing what you can do with a circle drawn on a sheet of paper – otherwise known as the coaching wheel. If you divide that circle into 8 segments it can tell you a lot of about your life, your work, or both. This is an exercise I do with a lot of people I work with.  Clients often come to coaching wanting to work on something specific in their life or work.  It can be difficult to work on one thing in isolation. We all know that our work is impacted by life, and vice versa.  And that life can be complicated.  We often juggle and wear lots of hats. So how do we make s ..read more

You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got.  Some things are definitely in short supply.  I’ve been noticing some real shortages lately. I know we’re in the midst of a pandemic but I don’t mean toilet rolls or flour. I’m talking about much more important shortages – things like Certainty Resilience Patience Energy Sleep Time Belief Hope   These shortages have been coming up in conversations for a while now. But there’s a couple of other things I’ve noticed too. The first thing I’ve noticed is that we don’t always recognise these for ourselves. It’s easy to r ..read more

I used to overthink things all the time. I’ve managed to stop overthinking everything. I have got better at it. But it still happens from time to time. I’ve been overthinking about writing this blog. How ironic is that? If you tend to overthink you might never get rid of it completely – it’s how some of us are made. But you can learn to notice when you’re doing it and disrupt or interrupt your thinking. More of that later. Overthinking generally falls into two camps. Things that have happened in the past and things that might happen in the future. Have you ever had a meeting, a call or coffee ..read more

If you were a fictional character who would you be? I find questions like that really hard.  They hurt my head.  But there’s a reason why I’m asking. Because, like it or not, we are all characters in a story.  Sometimes multiple, interwoven stories; at home, at work, in relationships, with friends and family. Stories have plots, sub-plots, characters, heroes, villains and much more. So wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, there’s a story happening. But I wonder.  Have you been cast in the right role? Or is there a different character out there for you, in an entirely d ..read more

It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster these past few months.  We’ve all experienced a whole gamut of feelings.  Some familiar, some new.  How good are you at describing feelings? Can you say how you feel right now?  I mean how you really feel?     A few years ago a coach asked me to describe how I was feeling.  It became a bit awkward.  Those words just weren’t part of my vocabulary at the time.  And I confess that I went away and did a google search after the session so I’d be ready next time she asked me.   But it wasn’t as easy ..read more

I’m ok with adapting to change.  I like to chop and change things around a bit.  I enjoy new routines and challenges.  Change often brings new opportunities.  But I also like to be involved in, or at the very least have an opportunity to shape, the change. Recently we’ve all had change thrust upon us – quite suddenly and unexpectedly.  The way we live, work, school our children and move around each other has been turned on it’s head.  The rules have changed for all of us. How do we adapt to change when it’s so sudden and there’s little opportunity to influence th ..read more

Are you hesitating about coaching? Shall I, shan’t I? By the time people get around to talking to me about coaching they’ve often been thinking about it for a while. They tell me they’ve checked my website a few times, perhaps thought about booking a call, only to put it off and come back and look again weeks or even months later.  Meanwhile they might search the internet, buy a few self-help books or try and speak to family or friends about how they’re feeling. More importantly, what they also tell me is that they wished they’d got in touch sooner.  You will book a call wh ..read more