If You’ve Been Hurt by the Church
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
1y ago
I’ve been wanting to write this post for awhile now but it’s been difficult to know where to start. It’s quite a difficult and divisive topic, and it’s taken some reflecting on my end to figure out how to write this in a sensitive way and in a way where people aren’t left feeling condemned or shamed. So my aim is to avoid those 2 things. I hope what I write speaks to your experiences and is instead validating and loving. A few years back, I attended a pretty well known church in the city. It was a big church which made it hard to get to know people on a deeper level unless you were actively in ..read more
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Peanut Butter || Salty Tears
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
2y ago
I am often told there are two parts to me: my “healthy self” and my “eating disordered self.” I disagree. There is me, just me. Rebekah. One human with numerous parts, all as complex as the next. I can see it though, this going back and forth between who I am and who I want to be. I see the behaviours I display now that are not how I want to present to the world and I see me – the real me, the one who can laugh freely and loudly, the funny one, the kind one, the fiercely protective and caring one. The human I was created to be. All people contain contradictions but for me the struggle is a sec ..read more
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You do not have to justify your existence
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
3y ago
I really dread the question “so what do you do?” We all ask it. It’s the classic way to start a conversation with someone we’ve not met before. We have questions we’re “expected” to ask, and in turn we’re expected to answer them. What do you do. Where are you from. What are you studying. Where do you work. You all know the drill. I dread the question because here’s the thing: I don’t currently work. I previously have studied (and graduated). I have had jobs on and off over the last few years but haven’t maintained anything for a good long while. I have deferred a social work degree which I pro ..read more
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Hospital Won’t Make You Well.
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
3y ago
My very first hospital admission was in 2013. I was 20 years old and naïve; I was relatively new to treatment and had never had a conversation with anyone who’d been in an inpatient setting before. I was super motivated – I thought I’d go in, get my food on track, increase what I was eating, gain the weight that I’d lost and then be good – ready to discharge and life would be back to how it was before I relapsed. But that’s not what happens and that’s not how it works. I remember going in there, a Tuesday that very first day was. Dinner was beef stroganoff and then sticky date pudding for dess ..read more
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On living and connecting.
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
4y ago
I’ve always known recovery from an eating disorder is possible, because I’ve read books about it. I’ve heard people share their recovery stories. I’ve even had the privilege of witnessing it happen from time to time. I’ve known that recovery is possible, but I’ve only known this on an intellectual level – not in my own experience. Whilst I’ve definitely had times where I’ve been more “well” in the last 7 years, I’ve certainly not yet reached a place in that time where I would say my life has been substantially improved, regardless of how things have been perceived by others, or by my friends a ..read more
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Before, Now, After.
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
4y ago
There is always a before, a now and an after. Take the current COVID19 pandemic, for example. In just a few short weeks, everyone’s lives have turned completely upside down. Before this, we could sit in the park with a friend drinking a takeaway coffee and not even have to consider the distance between us or be concerned a cop might rock up and give us a fine. We could walk down the main street of our hometown and explore the little shops, wander around the bookshop, pop into Vinnies. We didn’t have to avoid strangers on our morning walks. We weren’t necessarily wearing gloves to buy groceries ..read more
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Eating disorders & COVID-19
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
4y ago
  In the last few days I’ve been thinking about writing a blog post discussing how disabilities and mental health issues can lead to isolation and a general feeling of being ostracised in the community but there’s something else that’s come up in these last few weeks and even more so in these last few days that I feel is a more pressing issue to write about. Obviously, everyone is pretty aware of the current situation regarding COVID-19. It’s a scary time for many, particularly those who are the most vulnerable. We’re conscious of not being too close to people, we’re aware of minimising contac ..read more
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For Liam & for you & for me & us all.
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
4y ago
I’ve been thinking about writing this post all day and had carefully crafted in my mind everything I’d wanted to say. But here I am, 8pm on Thursday night and I’m at a loss for words. But anyway, let’s see how we go. This week, an old school friend of ours died. He would’ve been 28 this year. We’re all shocked and understandably devastated in our own ways and for different reasons. For me, Liam was one of those guys in school who I’d always have a bit of a laugh with. He was a jokester. He had nice eyes. The goofiest laugh. A friendly smile. A dry sense of humour. He was smart. He was unique ..read more
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Stick around for the good days.
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
4y ago
You might not believe it, but the good days exist. Or the good moments exist. The good minutes, even. A stranger walking by who catches your eye and smiles. Sunshine after a week of rain, or rain after the driest summer on record. The beautiful meow of your cat when you arrive home. The magazine you subscribe to arriving in the mail. Peanut butter. Bowls of rice. The satisfaction of finishing a book. Giggles escaping from your mouth that you didn’t even anticipate occurring. Your favourite song playing on the radio. Cards in the mail from friends; text messages saying hey thinking of you prayi ..read more
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Mental Illness is not a Flaw in Character.
R is for Recovery (and Rebekah) | Recovering Anorexic finding Freedom in Christ.
by Bek
4y ago
We’re not very good as a society at talking about mental health. It’s awkward. It’s kind of gross, all that vulnerability that is felt when you put yourself out there and share parts of life that aren’t all that nice. We fear people will judge us, that we will be seen as attention seeking, looking for sympathy. It’s just generally not a nice vibe. And so we conceal it all inside of ourselves, and we become inauthentic because we aren’t being our true selves with friends and family But there is so much courage and bravery to be seen and found when we can speak openly and honestly – and so much ..read more
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