I must take a moment to deviate from all things stepmom in order to discuss a topic that has irked me so much that blogging about it seems to be my civic duty. Presently, many of us know what's understood on the street: Don't tick someone off who's preparing your food. If a waiter or waitress does their job and does it well, leave a tip (even if they don't do so well still leave a tip; perhaps just reduce the percentage), and do not treat others in ways that you would not want to be treated, relatively speaking. Okay, we've got the basics covered. So, here's 5 things to try and avoid ..read more

Well, I had my first official professional-writing-endeavor-rejection. In short, I sense I am being told I am too provocative or confrontational. The business-side of me can certainly understand how various websites and publications must safe guard against what might be deemed defamatory and/or liability-inducing content. Yet, the academic, scholarly side of me sets its feet, throws its head back, and sends forth a “Rebel Yell” (thank you, Billy Idol). So, the content I originally crafted will probably never see the light of—publication—day, but I will certainly share my unabridged thoughts in ..read more

Woe to him who thinks to find a governess for his children by giving them a stepmother! He only brings into his house the cause of their ruin. There never yet was a stepmother who looked kindly on the children of another; or if by chance such a one were ever found, she would be regarded as a miracle, and be called a white crow. But beside all those of whom you may have heard, I will now tell you of another, to be added to the list of heartless stepmothers, whom you will consider well deserving the punishment she purchased for herself with ready money. Giambattista Basile, Nennillo and Nennel ..read more

“Ten years after they were married, when Bunyan was thirty, his wife died, leaving him with four children under ten, one of them blind. A year later, in 1659, he married Elizabeth, who was a remarkable woman. The year after their marriage, Bunyan was arrested and put in prison. She was pregnant with their firstborn and miscarried in the crisis. Then she cared for the four children as stepmother for twelve years alone and bore Bunyan two more children, Sarah and Joseph.” John Piper, The Hidden Smile of God: The Fruit of Affliction in the Lives of John Bunyan, William Cowper, and David Brainerd ..read more

   "I'll tell you what, husband," answered the woman, "early tomorrow morning we will take the children out into the forest to where it is thickest. There we will light a fire for them, and give each of them one more piece of bread, and then we will go to our work and leave them alone. They will not find the way home again, and we shall be rid of them."  (Hansel and Gretel, Brothers Grimm) http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm015.html         "Once upon a time there was a gentleman who married for his second wife the proudest and most haughty woman that ever ..read more

For months, I have been racking my brain with the question of what I should write about at the onset of my new "blogging" endeavor. I truly believe in the concept of "writing about what you know." Moreover, as I have discovered throughout my academic career as a Religious Studies scholar, it is important and productive to write about experiences and questions that "drive" your heart. Tomorrow will mark a year since I was ushered from a profound liminal state of engagement into a sacred and complex covenant of marriage, enacted by what I argue is a contemporary ritual ..read more

Talking about step-mom is a difficult thing. Over the past four years, I have conducted polls, interviewed people, and discussed step-mom with numerous people. Progress has been made, but perhaps that progress only accounts for the strides I have been able to make with my book. I'm not so sure that the "progress" actually involves an evolution of thinking in people on the topic of step-mom. But, this is WHY I labor over the completion of my book. I want YOU to understand me, my struggle, my plight. Don't we all? Isn't understanding and SIGHT what we all fight for? Freedom to exist and persist ..read more

TWD is doing something so important, so crucial for stepmothers and black woman all at the same time. I am a proud Richonner. I love Rick Grimes and Michonne as individual characters--always have, always will. Yet, I absolutely adore Rick and Michonne as a couple, as lovers. They will forever be the best and greatest OTP ("One True Pairing" for those of you who may not be down with the acronym). Interestingly, this blog post is NOT simply about Rick and Michonne. This is about how the show writers and Danai Gurira, the actress who plays Michonne, have crafted a strong, fierce, bad ass heroine ..read more

I haven't posted in awhile. Not because THIS isn't important, but because it IS IMPORTANT. No, it is not the most important thing. Of course not. I would be hard-pressed and bring much grief upon myself if I were to think so. "Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling." C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (Here, Lewis is discussing marriage, beginning from the premise of falling 'in love'.) But, there is a word God has p ..read more

"It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place." Photo taken in Blowing Rock, NC April 2013, Family Reunion            I'd wager a guess that most of us have heard and/or used this phrase. Never a good place to be, is it? Typically I prefer warm, soft, and fuzzy as opposed to rock-hard. And who wants to be stuck or trapped?      Of course, in true "The Calling of a Step-Mom" style, I began thinking about what this phrase means for step-mom. After mulling thoughts around a bit, the light bulb of epiphany turned on. The trickiness of being ..read more