I Didn’t Expect This Something happened recently that shook me harder than I ever thought possible. To explain fully, I have to go back a few years.  Three of my husband’s kids went into the Air Force. Two went overseas, and one stayed in California. The one that stayed in California is the one this involves. So, we’ll refer to him as Cal going forward. Cal met a girl, we’ll call her Annie, and they fell in love. We never met her in person for the first two years, just through Facebook Messenger video calls a few times. During this two-year period, they split up and got back together seve ..read more

What Is Parental Alienation Parental alienation is a strategy where one parent intentionally tells the child negative things about the other parent or keeps the child from the other parent. The purpose of this strategy is to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent and to turn the child’s emotions against that other parent. Although parental alienation is very common, many alienated parents do not know what to do. They don’t want to make the alienation worse. Here are five things to NOT do if you are an alienated parent: 1. Don’t Retaliate With Alienation While it may be tempting ..read more

Nacho Kids Goal The goal of the Nacho Kids Nacho Parenting method is to eventually re-engage with your stepkids in a healthy non-parental role that works for everyone. Or Maybe Not It is understandable that not everyone can, or will want to, re-engage with their stepkids. Some stepparents may choose not to re-engage, and some stepkids may not be interested in having the stepparent re-engage. That’s okay! You don’t have to like everyone, and they don’t have to like you! One Step Forward, Two Steps Back Still, some stepparents may re-engage, then realize that it’s not working or is not what is b ..read more

Stepkid Versus Stepparent Many times stepparents feel the stepkid’s bad behavior is directed toward them. It may appear that way, for sure. Especially if the stepparent finds a note, the stepkid wrote that says, “I hate (insert stepparent’s name).” Yeah, it’s hard to see that the note isn’t about you. It specifically says YOU! But it’s rarely about you. What You Represent Ever thought of what you could represent to the stepkid? To the stepkid, you could represent that their parents will never get back together. If one of their bio parents is absent, the stepparent can be a constant reminder to ..read more

It’s Not For Everyone Nachoing, or using the Nacho Kids Nacho Parenting method, is not for everyone but it has saved thousands of blended families worldwide from demise, as well as helped many stepfamilies avoid struggles others have experienced. Is It For You? Overwhelmed in your stepparent role? Despite the stepkid having two bio parents, do you feel that you take on more responsibility for your stepkids than their bio parents? Ready to throw in the towel on your blended relationship? Do you and your partner often fight about their kids or your bio kids? Is the relationship between you and s ..read more

After 174 Podcast Episodes Every week for over the past three years, we have released a Nacho Kids ~ Nacho Parenting podcast episode. Some of these episodes have been with licensed therapists, counselors, lawyers, and other stepfamily coaches but the majority have been with bio or stepparents in the blend, and also some stepkids. We wanted to share with you what we have learned by doing the last 174 episodes. # 1 It’s Worldwide One of the things we have learned is it doesn’t matter where you live, what your ethnicity is, what religion you are, or what your economic status is; blending is hard ..read more

Ignored By The Stepkid There are different ways a stepkid can ignore a stepparent. One way is ignoring the stepparent when they tell the stepkid to do something. Another way is if the stepparent says “Hello.” and the stepkid doesn’t respond. Oh, and let’s not forget when the stepkid ignores the stepparent by addressing everyone in the room except the stepparent. Being Ignored Hurts As we know, being ignored can be very hurtful. It can make us feel like we don’t matter or that we are less than others. Let’s face it, when we are ignored, we take it personally. Why Do They Do It? Are the stepkids ..read more

Nope, I Didn’t Say Hello When I started the Nachoing, I didn’t say hello to my stepkids when they returned from their moms. I know some of you reading this are thinking, “How dare you! You are the adult!” Yeah, yeah, yeah. I probably would have thought the same thing pre-Nacho. Why I Didn’t It was pretty simple. When I said hello, and they didn’t respond, it made me angry! In turn, I would tell my husband that he should make them say hello to me and acknowledge me. So, not only was their not responding to me a trigger, it made me pressure my husband to “fix” his kids. What Happened When I Didn ..read more

There are many myths we see about Nacho Parenting. Let’s look at ten of these myths and learn the facts. Myth # 1 You Nacho because it’s the easy way out. Wrong! Nachoing is anything but easy! Fact: From the outside it may seem so, but believe me learning to respond and not react takes time and practice. Myth # 2 You Nacho to teach your partner a lesson. Wrong! You don’t Nacho to dump everything on your partner to cause them more stress. Fact: You hand back the parenting responsibilities to lower your stress, lowering the stress of the blend. However, I must say that often when the stepparent ..read more

Graduation Challenges Whether it’s graduation from kindergarten, middle school, high school, or college, these events can be difficult times for stepfamilies. It can also be difficult for bio parents who have split up and are not remarried or in a new relationship. When The Bio Parents Aren’t Together Oftentimes bio parents don’t have a good relationship with each other. As a result, attending functions together can be stressful, but even more so for their child. We understand that not everyone gets along. And that’s ok. If you and your child’s other parent can’t be within five feet of each ot ..read more