I believe there a couple of ways to go through struggle. You can either feel like you don’t deserve whatever you are going through and never saw it coming, or you can realize that Jesus’s words in the Bible are true; “In this world you will have trouble.” Now, I am an optimist, so I’m not telling you to be on the lookout for doom and gloom. I am challenging you to be aware of life – this world – and then not be so blindsided when troubles come. Jesus was well aware of what was ahead for Him on this earth. He shared our “human-ness.” In John 12:27-28 He says, “Now my heart is troubled, and wha ..read more

I periodically substitute teach. In the different classes I sub in, there is usually method of bribery – I mean incentive – for students to behave, show kindness or encourage them to work well together as a class. I have seen the marble jar method used a lot. The teacher has a large jar in her room and as the students do well and reach goals or act appropriately, the teacher puts marbles in the jar. When the jar is filled with marbles, the class enjoys whatever prize has been set for reaching the goal. This builds community. The class, as a whole, wants to see the jar fill up with marbles. It ..read more

I love how things learned from people in the past can really benefit you for the rest of your life. For many years, I worked for my best friend’s husband who is a CPA. I learned so many things from him, but one I have used over and over is the negotiating tactic of “he who speaks first, loses.” In other words, when you are in a situation where you are wanting something – whether by gaining it or buying it – present your desire, give the why, make the offer, and then be quiet. If you go ahead and start talking again, the other person has a much better chance to reject your offer. But when ther ..read more

Mentors. They are everywhere. If you want to learn to dance, you find an instructor. If you want to learn a foreign language, you find a teacher. If you want to be the best wife possible, you go to Proverbs Chapter 31, verses 10-31. I don’t know how many times I’ve read these verses and skimmed over the virtues- mostly thinking the thirteen virtues were too impossible to attain all at once. I’m lucky if I can exhibit one virtue within a 24 hour period!  Nonetheless, we are going to call them out and rise to the challenge of facing, claiming, and owning these virtues for our very own. So ..read more

As my husband, Dan, and I spend time coaching married couples in crisis, a common theme arises from the ashes – and that is selfishness. We see a “my way or the highway” approach to the marriage. Therefore, when conflict happens, resolution is about as likely to happen as a snowball surviving in Yuma, Arizona. Couples so quickly draw battle lines and gather weapons to use against each other. It is a shame they have forgotten that instead of enemies – their spouse is their teammate. They have forgotten that as they tear down this person, they are tearing down their own marriage, family and hom ..read more

“Run and jump!,” he said. I laughed nervously. I had never zip-lined before. I’ve watched others. They all seemed to have survived, but would I be so lucky? I’m not as young or as small as I used to be. Would the cable be strong enough to hold me all the way across? Would the trolley keep me running smoothly along the cable? Would the harness around my waist and thighs truly keep me connected to the cable from one point to the next? I guess you don’t know until you jump. I didn’t really run and jump – it was more like a skip. I did scream for about a second until I realized I was still alive ..read more

Life is the ever-constant teacher.  I have shared in previous radio and blog posts about what you focus on and how you focus on it, tends to direct the feelings and thoughts in other areas of your life.  I have often focused on the wrong things and it ultimately left my day with emptiness and bitterness.  It really does make a difference whether you see your “glass as half full or half empty.” I am an optimist for the most part – but when things don’t go as planned – when I start finding fault – my little optimistic brain spirals downwards in a heartbeat.  Thankfully, God ..read more

When I think about marriage these days, it conjures up a mental picture of a square dance. You start with a partner and as you dance around a circle, at some point the square dance caller, in his sing-song voice, will say, “change your partner.”  So many marriages have mimicked this – you go along for awhile, and then at some point, you change partners. God’s plan? I don’t think so. Forgivable? Absolutely. Doable? Yes. Difficult? Yes and Yes!  Just get ready to learn a new dance! So as this dance continues with your partner, you may run into a past ex- … or two. This is where things ..read more

I do life better when I have an outline – a plan. If it is easy to remember, then the more often I’m able to recall and then implement. As Dan and I have been working with other couples, God has given me a compact life, marriage and blended family plan. This is not an all-encompassing list – but it is pretty well rounded. So let’s talk about the four building block B’s that will help you do some blending in your marriage and family. The first B is for Boundaries. Boundaries keep good things within your marriage and family and also prohibit bad things from invading your marriage and family. Fo ..read more

Lists. I love making lists. I have a list for the day, for the week, for the month and then the goals list for the year. I love writing each item down and then find joy and satisfaction in crossing off as many items as possible every day. Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” captured my attention because Alice had a list. Her list looks different from mine, but I’m going to follow her example. In one of the final scenes of the movie, Alice is getting ready to face her opponent – the Jabberwocky in which she is to slay. To bolster herself, Alice tells the Mad Hatter that sometimes she believe si ..read more