Showing Up for Bleacher Butt
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
Perhaps my greatest legacy as a stepmom is bleacher butt. You read that right. Bleacher butt. My stepdaughter loves to tell people that her dad and stepmom started dating at her volleyball games. She’s not wrong. We were both lawyers with full time jobs, homes, and all of the accompanying tasks. Plus he had three kids and spent time chauffeuring them around to their various activities. His time was limited. So, yes, many of our early dates consisted of grab n’ go food at volleyball matches or basketball games in gyms across the state. It was the only time we had to get to know one another. We ..read more
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UGH...Is this compassion fatigue?
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
I’m a fixer. When I see something amiss, I want to fix it or at the very least I want it fixed. I will think every thought. I will read every book. I will say every prayer. Most often I am looking for the way to fix myself that will result in a resolution of the current situation. Maybe it’s a perfectionism issue. Maybe it’s a control issue. But I need it fixed. My theory has always been that if people are happy my life is easier. However, at the ripe old age of 49, God is teaching me that sometimes I am actually not the problem in every situation. And when you are not the problem, you must re ..read more
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Mother's Day
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
I was introduced to this poem on Twitter. It's a blessed reminder of those who have a different road ahead this Mother's Day. We are grateful for each of you and the stories you bring to the mothering journey. Many thanks to Amy Young. Find her work on The Messy Middle blog. To those who gave birth this year to their first child - we celebrate you To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you To those of you who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the bade of food stains - we appreciate you To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or ru ..read more
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An interview with Blended author Samantha Waltz
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
Blended: Writers on the Stepfamily Experience explores families from the inside out through the perspectives of thirty writers who have experienced stepfamily life firsthand. This compilation explores the truths of what non-traditional families look like along with the accompanying highs and lows unique to those families. We asked Samantha to share her thoughts and insights on the book. 1) Samantha, tell us your stepfamily story? When I compiled Blended, I was a stepmother to six adult children and a stepgrandmother to their ten kids. My husband had three children each from two marriages, and ..read more
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A Brief Ode to Golf (but not really)
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
My mother and I went to visit my stepson in his new habitat a few months ago. He had recently moved to a new locale as he began his residency as a physician. While we were there we took he and a friend out to dinner and started telling old family tales. One of those tales included the time he kicked me off the golf course. Not literally. But it makes for a more dramatic story if I use a strong verb. But back to the real story. My stepson and his dad are voracious golfers. They have traveled the world to get in a good game on the links. They have been to Pebble Beach, California and had their p ..read more
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Strange days
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
We're all feeling the same. We're anxious and tense. Most of us are isolated from friends and family. We're missing our gatherings, our outings, our work. Strange days indeed. People in this country are risking their lives to ensure that we make it through a worldwide pandemic. For me, I'm feeing less than useful. I'm a lawyer. I can do most of my work from home therefore, I'm not encumbered by the angst of going to an office or social distancing during mass transit to get there. I am one of those staying home, going out only for essentials, helping with my grandchildren, and praying for those ..read more
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Stepfamily is not a bad word!
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
It seems now is time for a little good news. Okay, maybe anytime is time for a little good news. But I digress. I want to tell you a stepfamily story. About a month ago, I picked up my granddaughter Adaline from preschool and we headed to see my 14 year old niece to play Barbies. This was a scheduled visit. I knew that my niece had some free time and it coincided with the time that my granddaughter would be off from school. We met up for lunch (always a treat with a 2.75 year old!), grabbed milkshakes for dessert, then piled in the car and headed for our destination: Barbie central. But things ..read more
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Interview with Claudette Chenevert, "The Stepmom Coach
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
Stepmom coach and author of "The Stepmom's Book of Boundaries," Claudette Chenevert, shared with us her personal stepmom story, what kinds of boundaries stepmoms need to be setting, and her best stepmom moment. In her own words.... Claudette, tell us about your stepmom story. I met Bernard via a dating agency in January 1990. This was way before Match.com or any of those apps you see people swiping right and left. The selection process was coordinated by this one guy who read our 8 page handout of what we wanted in a future partner. No pictures were involved so this was totally blind - in ter ..read more
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#RememberingRHE
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
In a hotel room in the heart of Culloden, Scotland, I stood dressed to go to dinner. We had enjoyed a long day of sightseeing including the impressive Clava Cairns and a rainy and windy Culloden Battlefield. Before heading down to the dining room, however, I thought I would check the news just once more for the day. I picked up my cell as I opened the door on the way out and quickly perused Twitter. And there was the news that I prayed would not come. Rachel Held Evans had passed. For days, I had been praying for the restoration of her health from a sudden and mysterious ailment that caught h ..read more
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Announcement!!!
Suddenly Stepmom
by Gara Hoke Lacy
1y ago
No, no that kind of announcement...But it still merits balloons! We are excited to announce that Healthline has named SuddenlyStepmom.com as one of the top stepmom blogs of 2019! Read the article for more information on Suddenly Stepmom and more stepmom blogs. Lots of support and advice for the stepmom community! https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/best-step-mom-blogs #beststepmomblogs ..read more
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