Hi, I've been feeling really, really down lately. As mentioned in my other posts, my relationship with my mom has always been too much and enmeshed (thanks for the word). She was my only human contact for most of my teenage years. I had friends and all but they were all... shallow friendships... I never rebelled as a teen. I started drinking and smoking on my own at night but I never rebelled against parental authority and I never had my opposition phase. As my BDP mom said, I was a model daughter until my mid 20s. Then I met my husband with whom I've been for ten years. I love him. We share ..read more

I'll start: I often feel guilty (I realized this after starting to journal). I have trust issues; it's hard for me to fully trust someone (it happens, but I feel it takes me longer to trust than it does for other people). I'm hyper-vigilant about other people's reactions and emotions. I overanalyze my words in social settings, questioning if it was right to say this or that (also discovered after journaling). I tend to make myself small and try not to draw attention to myself. I experience social anxiety. I have a strong sense of hyper-independence (it's difficult for me to ask for help, as ..read more

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t taught that pain is something to be ashamed of, something you hide, something you’re afraid to let people know about. Sometimes I wonder how differently people would treat me if I seemed like I was in pain, especially when it’s bad. I wonder if they’d be kinder to me or if they’d hate me for not being well. I’ve started to be really aware of the way I respond to pain… that mostly, I don’t. I have bathroom problems and am working on going at work, but it’s really hard and embarrassing and I can’t make myself do it for more than 5 min, e ..read more

Yesterday, my mom got high (weed is legal) and fell asleep. Our dog needed to go outside and she usually does it on the weekends with my brother. I take care of his potty breaks in the day because I’ve had bad experiences by myself at night. So I asked my brother (18) to take the dog out with me since we live near a notoriously dangerous train station. Of course the spoiled baby boy said no and told me to fuck off. Our dog is a 20 pound pug so he’s not a very intimidating boy. About 10 minutes into our walk, this 5’4” lady with a massive 200 pound dog started coming our way. Long story short ..read more

My mom said this to me as a way of saying hi. I didn’t do anything wrong and that was her response to seeing me. I hate being the scapegoat with a passion, I can tell just how much the family hates it when I ask for accountability. I don’t accept the gaslighting either, and when that happens, I still get scapegoated. I would never imagine treating someone like that as a way of saying hello, that’s just rude and yet she goes and does that. submitted by /u/ExplodingCar84 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I think I just realized my father has ASPD. I never understood why he had no empathy and wouldn’t listen to me. I used ChatGPT to set up multiple scenarios of a healthy father consoling a daughter versus a father with ASPD. I am absolutely FLOORED. I was reading Lawsons book the other day, and realized my father might actually align with the king archetype. Has anyone else realized this? I’m shocked. I was also previously speaking to someone who was extremely manipulative and had traits of ASPD. I can’t believe it. I had to talk about it somewhere. submitted by /u/Think-Remove-2433 [visit re ..read more

So yeah I made a post a few days ago about my mother, thank you for all the support on that btw. I think I'm going to have to go NC as she's gotten to the point where I can't do anything. I'm not going to play into her delusions and walk on eggshells my whole life and I was fine without her so l will continue to be. Just sucks man like why do I have to choose between parenting my parent or NC... but yeah I'm pretty much done at this point. submitted by /u/lolsmile455 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

Hi! I’ve been lurking on this group for a while and have found it so helpful, and decided to finally reach out for recs under a decoy username. This is a long post, sorry My uBPD mother and I have been having a rockier relationship than usual lately. After she has effectively ruined several recent holidays and life milestones (I am getting married this year) with her emotional volatility, verbal/emotional abuse towards me, and self-centeredness, I have started putting up more boundaries and spending less time with her. I’m not ready to go NC, but have needed to take mini breaks for my mental ..read more

Just turned 30. On a skype call a few days before, my mom asked me “how old are you going to be?” She knows perfectly well but seems to get a kick out of asking me, as if hoping I’d be sad about it or something. I replied “30, did you forget?” in a concerned tone. She wondered loudly where the time had gone, then sprinted out of the room and returned cuddling a reborn doll. It was so on-the-nose and shocking (she hates that I’m grown and independent) that I laughed out loud. Dad sat next to her looking a little exasperated but silent. She’s bought it little outfits. They bought me two mugs an ..read more

I'm on a hold and she's on vacation in Columbia (pre-planned, didn't want her to come back/stay) Supportive and nice in one message and making it about her in the next. [Reupload bc I left a name in] Also I have no desire to translate so if someone wants to, go for it. But the gist is always the same submitted by /u/blueevey [visit reddit] [comments ..read more