In an effort to keep my good cholesterol up, I started jogging a few months ago. It’s slow going and sucks but, after getting up to three miles straight on my gym’s treadmills, I decided to put on my big boy shorts and start running outside. I wish someone had told me that pounding the pavement al fresco was much harder. “It’s always miserable,” an accomplished marathoner told me upon learning of my efforts. “But if you keep up with it, you’ll still be miserable, but find yourself going farther and faster.” He was right about the misery part at least. My pace is what could be charitably called ..read more

When I left work today, I ran into my boss in the hallway.  “Leaving early?” he said.  “I have to go grave shopping today,” I said, putting on what I thought was an appropriately solemn look. “Find a place for my father’s ashes. Volunteers are covering the pantry.”  “Well, good luck, That’s never fun.”  Half an hour later, I pulled in front of the gigantic mausoleum at a Catholic cemetery and headed for the office. Workmen were busy with power tools somewhere in the cavernous building and, as the sounds echoed of the marble walls, I turned down the volume on my hearing aids ..read more

A couple of hours after my father died, I was sitting in the back office of a funeral home waiting for the director to arrive when I heard a car pull up and the sound of a heavy door opening. Getting up from my seat, I went to the window and pulled back the curtain, watching as men wheeled a gurney out of a minivan and guide it through a service door. Then, after a moment, I heard an elevator lurch into action.  “Mr. Dublanica,” the director said, entering the room. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”  “Was that my father who just arrived?” I asked.  “It was.” Sighing, I settled back ..read more

March 7, 2024  When my brother and I were children in the 1970’s my father loved to play records on the old hi-fi in our living room. His choices were, of course, as varied as his eclectic tastes– ranging from classical music, recordings of Shakespeare plays, songs by The Beatles, The Doors, The Eagles, and, sadly, when we got that eight track player, the stylings of Barry Manilow. But what do I know? Barry’s making a comeback and even my daughter likes singing “Copacabana.” But I distinctly remember the time my dad sat me down and made me listen to the song “The Impossible Dream” from th ..read more

March 6, 2024 When I was a small child the synapses in my brain finally linked up and I realized that I had a whole life in front of me – and that I’d eventually need to get a job. So, I churned through all the possibilities little boys consider. Maybe I would become a fireman or police officer. Or how about a doctor, astronaut, cowboy, professional baseball player or even President of The United States?  But above all else, whatever path I chose, like all sons, I was anxious that my dad would be proud of me. Being a bit of a chatterbox, I know I must have bounced all my career optio ..read more

Charles Feeney, 1931 – 2023 Businessman, Philanthropist, and my hero. Your reward in Heaven will be great. I wish there were more people like you. “Now cracks a noble heart. Good-night sweet prince; and fights of angels sing thee to thy rest.” The post Rest in Peace, Chuck appeared first on Waiter Rant ..read more

Most of the deep philosophical discussions I have with my daughter occur when she’s in the backseat while I’m driving. Yesterday was one of those times.  “How is God different from us?” she asked me as we waited at a traffic light. “You and I are finite,” I said. “We have a beginning and an end. God, on the other hand, is infinite. He has no beginning or end.” “How can he not have a beginning? He had to start somewhere.” “Good question, dear,” I said. “What do you think?”   “I think there was nothing,” Natalie said. “I mean nothing. No black, no white. No colors. No people. Then ..read more

My father needed to have his hearing aids adjusted so, once again, I found myself going to Costco. Because there was a bad accident on the highway, we were half an hour late.  “There won’t be any handicapped spots,” I said, frustrated.  “You said that the last time,” my dad said.  As luck would have it, an SUV was pulled out of a handicapped spot on my right, so I clicked on my blinker. Hidden by the SUV’s mass, however, another car was signaling to make a left into the same spot. Oh well.  As I wrenched my car into the coveted spot, the face of the old woman behind th ..read more

I was heading to the break room to grab a cup of coffee when I passed by the collection box for the school supply drive my department conducts every summer. It was empty, which was concerning because we were giving the supplies away in two weeks.    Feeling a ripple of anxiety, I had a vision of turning away needy children because we didn’t have any backpacks, lunch bags, notebooks, pens, pencils, crayons, or markers to give them. Then I chided myself for my lack of faith. After eight years doing this work, I knew the stuff would come from somewhere – but that never stops me fro ..read more

Last Friday morning, I took my father to Costco to get hearing aids. Pulling into the crowded parking lot, I said to him, “I bet there won’t be any handicapped spots.”  “Why do you say that?” he asked.  “Because there never are at Costco.”  Whenever I take my mom and dad anywhere, I use their handicapped placard to snag parking spots close to the entrance of whatever place we’re visiting. Oddly enough, whenever I go to the mall or the supermarket by myself there’s always plenty of legally designated spaces available but, when I’m transporting my parents, I can never seem to find ..read more