Balancing your money may not be on your mind after your husband dies. Those first few weeks (months and even the first year) can be filled with waves of emotion – ranging from sadness, anger, and loneliness. And so, you might wonder how balancing your finances can help your journey. When you take the time to balance your money, it can provide direction when you are feeling adrift after loss. It can also help you make smart choices as you begin to move forward. One of the reasons I started my business was to help widows create and understand financial guidelines so they make empowered decision ..read more

For the past few months, we’ve been focusing on making an informed decision for your financial future. But as you follow through on key financial items, it’s important to understand the healing power of creating a routine for yourself. Routine restores order. Order cultivates calm and stillness which is essential to healing. Because my team and I create a financial advisory process that is designed around the unique needs of widows, we encourage you to take a slower pace and integrate the necessity of focusing on self-care – even the simplest acts in order to keep you moving forward. Grief i ..read more

Organization can be a lifeline when you are being tossed around and feel like you are drowning in a sea of grief. One of the positive effects of organizing your finances is the added confidence you may gain in your decision-making capacity. I am often asked, “Now that I’m a widow, am I going to run out of money?” Although I know it is a scary question and can feel devastating, it is answerable. Most widows will undergo some decreased income and their previous financial balance is almost always disrupted in some way. As we have discussed before, there is a strong connection between u ..read more

When your husband dies, you may constantly ask yourself, “Do I have enough?” That lack of “enough” comes from experiencing a loss so deep – your partner, best friend, co-parent, etc. – that it begins to creep into other areas of your life making you feel confused and even more alone. This is one of the reasons I started working with widows because there is a strong connection between understanding your finances and your emotional recovery. You are suddenly alone, overwhelmed, and powerless to anything more than what feels like riding along a turbulent sea of sorrow and distress. Grieving whil ..read more

“Am I going crazy?” I get asked this a lot from recent widows. And, of course, the answer is no – you’re not crazy – but you are in a crazy situation. It’s important to, not only, understand it but to have helpful and encouraging action steps to move forward. After losing your husband, everything has changed. Those first weeks after his death, you probably found yourself forgetting things: keys, appointments, what you just said. Because your right arm is gone. Your heart has been torn in two. Emotional pain is greeting you around every corner and, at the same time, you’re dazed and drained. N ..read more

As a recent widow, your energy can be so depleted in those first weeks. Your behavior may even seem bizarre or out of control. There will be inevitable feelings of cycling between merely going through the motions to tiny bursts where you think you just might be alright. You might find yourself losing your keys, forgetting your destination while driving, and a sluggish reaction time to certain moments. It may even feel like life has lost its purpose or focus. You know what? That’s ok. It’s more than ok – it’s completely natural and normal. For now, it’s your goal to simply take care of yourself ..read more

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.” You’ve heard it probably a million times lately – or a variation, at least. When your husband dies, those first few days can feel like you are moving through Jell-O. You take steps, your clothes somehow go on; you talk to people, you form words, but you aren’t actually sure how it’s all being done or said – and that slow moving feeling stays with you. You reply, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” It seems like the automatic and best response to let people know you really do appreciate them. Of course. But right now, the biggest thing is k ..read more

Alice stared at the unlit candles on her table. Grief had stolen so much from her. Now, it seemed it had taken away the joy of Thanksgiving too. Family were on their way, but she couldn’t muster up the energy to finish setting the table. What Alice really wanted was to crawl back into bed until Thanksgiving was over. This year, she had become a member in the club no one wants to be in…widowhood. Loss can rob your sense of hope. It can tamper with your ability to believe in the best that life can offer. It was William Shakespeare who said, “Tears water our growth.” For widows, often that growt ..read more

Alice left with a huge stack of papers from her husband’s financial advisor. She knew they were important and she was supposed to be completing the forms, but they didn’t connect with everything else going on in her life. Instead, they sat on the corner of her desk, collecting dust. After all, she was trying desperately everyday just to keep her head above water to survive her grief. Widows often see themselves as blocked off from re-entering life. Many feel resigned, defeated, frustrated and confused, especially around finances. Our approach is to have a series of conversations that tackle t ..read more

  One of the biggest things my team and I hope to help widows understand is that balancing their money can greatly impact their emotional healing. When you understand your financial situation, you are ultimately creating more choice for yourself and your next steps. This allows you to feel more in control and confident during a time that is so turbulent with grief, sadness, and overwhelm. And this choice can create curiosity. And curiosity creates courage. That’s why we don’t just focus on your finances. We also integrate conversations into your financial planning that can help you culti ..read more