Hello, world. I hope you don’t think I’ve disappeared or come unhinged. All is well, as far as it goes. I figured I owe you, my faithful audience, an update.  Sorry I’m not more social… I’m too busy recovering from seven+ years of trauma.  Seriously. I’ll say it, even though I typically try to shrug off the ugly parts of caregiving as opportunity cost. Caregiving is traumatic.  Yes, caregiving is traumatic. As I’m sure you well know through your own experience,  struggling through grief is not so pretty.  At first, there was sheer still and deafening silence. A huge vo ..read more

As caregivers, we can find ourselves wallowing in bitterness.  We can feel hostile towards those who won’t show up or even notice us struggling to begin with. It can make us want to scream, “I’M DROWNING OVER HERE!!!”  We can feel envious of our friends and family who are simply living their lives. If we’ve been entrenched in caring for a loved one, even a quick scroll through our social feeds or a conversation with someone in passing can fill us with jealousy. Especially if we’ve completed our caregiving missions, we can feel consumed with  Whether it be a missed opportunity, a ..read more

When I was feeling disheartened about caregiving because everyone was telling me to ‘put my grandma in a home,’ I turned to the Bible to give me hope and encouragement to know that I was doing the right thing. Turns out, that the Word of God has a lot to say about the responsibility of taking care of your loved ones. Welcome to the third study in my series of devotionals about the Biblical imperative for caregiving. It’s hard caregiving in a world where everyone is out for themselves. At times it can feel like you’re following a different set of rules. In our culture, people are always lookin ..read more

The tasks of caring for a loved one are demanding and emotionally taxing.  Just as soon as we feel like we have a grip on things, they can change in a whipstitch.  The uncertainty and complexity of it all can wear you down. The good news is that God is our constant source of all power. When we try to bear the burden of caregiving alone, it wears us out. I pray you can remain plugged in to the Father as you meet your caregiving obligations. Below, please find a prayer and a few Bible verses that kept me going and reminded me of God’s limitless energy while I was caring for my grandma ..read more

Just recently the three-month anniversary of my grandmother’s passing screamed at me from the calendar. As the days drag on and I find new ways to fill my time, I can’t help but think that self-employment is and has been my saving grace for the last four years and, thus, the greater part of my caregiving mission. (DISCLAIMER: DON’T GET ME WRONG. I’m not advocating you go and quit your job right now. I’m not against having a job.) When I decided to leave my job, I had already been caring for Grandma for three years. On top of that, I was responsible for another soul, Calvin.  I was barely ..read more

This week an article was published on AARP’s website, which included a little insight into my caregiving journey among a few other humans with which I am honored to be included. The article, Family Caregiving: A View From the Inside, an oral history of toil, toll — and loving devotion, includes a variety of caregiver perspectives on when we first noticed things were changing, navigating the complex service system, dealing with finances, what caregiving is really like, how to cope, and finding joy. You can check out the article here: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/info-2022/history-o ..read more

I’ve scoured the Bible for validation of the emotions I experienced. I searched for the Old Testament and New for instances of caregiving. I just knew there would be a Biblical imperative for what I was doing. The stories in God’s Word don’t scream out “HEY, HE OR SHE’S A CAREGIVER” but, then again, neither do we! A lot of times, we become caregivers without even knowing it. Sometimes, it’s at our lowest points in our journey–when our families are in crisis–we finally discover there’s a word for what we’ve been doing. Even then, depending on your situation, the world likely has little to offer ..read more

As caregivers, we all need encouragement while we’re on our caregiving journeys. Sometimes the road is so rocky, it can feel impossible that we’re on the right path. You can search high and low for praise and encouragement, but all you really need to do is open God’s word. Nobody sees you like Our Heavenly Father sees you, even when you are feeling invisible. Below, please find a prayer and a few Bible verses that encouraged me and reminded me of God’s unfailing love and protection while I was caring for my grandma. A Prayer for Caregivers You can pray this prayer or tell the Heavenly Father ..read more

It isn’t easy to say goodbye. The only thing that makes saying goodbye more difficult is well-meaning family and friends who add unnecessary stress and drama to our lives while we’re trying to savor our last moments with our loved ones, make our environment peaceful, and ensure their comfort. Here is a short list of things you probably don’t want to do if someone you know is losing someone they love or have been caring for for a while, in no particular order: Blowing up caregivers’ phones with calls or texts. When we are caring for a loved one who is dying, we shouldn’t have to turn our ringer ..read more

In caregiving, we are constantly triaging issues and crises. We quickly learn how to pick our battles and prioritize. That being said, I’ll give you the same disclaimer I gave everyone else—my grandma’s teeth were in terrible shape when I got her, okay? Between constant falls and colostomy biohazard cleanups, in the beginning, her teeth were low on the list of priorities when it came to Grandma’s health.  Besides, I always gave Grandma the benefit of the doubt and tried to allow her as much independence and dignity as possible.  Like anyone would, I just assumed she knew what to do a ..read more