The Onion » Politics
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The Onion » Politics
4h ago
Researchers combing through a server based in North Korea found animation work for Amazon’s Invincible and Max’s Iyanu: Child of Wonder, including log files that suggest animators in China further outsourced the work to North Korea, unbeknownst to the American companies. What do you think?
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The Onion » Politics
4h ago
VATICAN—Their excitement reaching a fever pitch as they awaited the supreme pontiff’s appearance for a papal audience, a wild St. Peter’s Basilica crowd grew increasingly fired up Wednesday as they tossed around inflatable crucifixes, Holy See sources confirmed. “Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy…
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The Onion » Politics
4h ago
Nike came under fire recently after its women’s uniforms for the U.S. Olympic track and field team appeared far more needlessly revealing than the men’s. The Onion asked female athletes how they felt about the outfits, and this is what they said.
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The Onion » Politics
4h ago
Being his sexual plaything doesn’t seem so bad once you realize you get to wake up to amazing views on his private island every day!
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The Onion » Politics
21h ago
NEW YORK—Violating the judge’s order prohibiting the former president from killing his one-time fixer, Donald Trump was held in contempt of court Tuesday after stabbing Michael Cohen to death with a ballpoint pen. “Given the defendant’s willful and repeated refusal to comply with this court’s instruction not to shank…
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The Onion » Politics
1d ago
CARMEL, IN—Though they had previously approved the style and color, a damning new report released Tuesday found that someone wasn’t wearing the shirt their wife picked out for them. Sources confirmed that someone, who shall remain nameless, had shown up to a nice dinner party in a shirt that was not the one from the…
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The Onion » Politics
1d ago
BENTONVILLE, AR—Adapting the retail outlet’s previously simple sign-up questionnaires to the modern world, Walmart announced Monday that its baby registry would now include a checkbox for denoting whether or not the pregnancy was forced. “We heard from many Walmart customers that it would be convenient to have a…
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The Onion » Politics
1d ago
THE HEAVENS—Saying He did not expect the species to forgive Him, a tearful God, Our Lord and long-supposed Heavenly Father, admitted to reporters Tuesday that He kidnapped human beings 4,000 years ago to raise them as His own children. “I’m so sorry—I know I’ve always said you were created in My image, but that’s not…
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