Thirty-seven candles. It can cast quite the radiant glow. One might even say that with each additional candle it gives us the opportunity to see what lies further before us while lighting the path from which we came. Each additional candle inspires an unmatched joy within the eyes of those who are most grateful for such a day.  December skies & Lucia Lullabyes  December knows a darkness unlike any other. But beneath the crisp clear dark skies of the winter solstice lies a silent hope. A hope that is born from the smallest spark and has the power to pull the senses to safety in a ..read more

The greatest tragedy in life is not born from the absence of living but from living a life enslaved to distraction. We exist within a restlessness that endlessly is seeking answers to questions we don't have the words to say. That restlessness slowly numbs the senses and we begin to simply exist while the ache within our soul seemingly grows more and more each day. We feel it, but simply press on chaotically in search of the answers and purpose we seek which in hope may calm our mind, heart, and spirit. That it may expose the belonging we seek within ourselves - a contented vulnerability in w ..read more

I dare to say the entirety of our lives boils down to a motivation to find the answer to one simple question: what are we seeking? Each season, each step, each decision is composed within the air of a question and motivated by an unspeakable yearning to find a balance, a harmony. A place in which the person in who we are is embraced by a silent steadied faith in who we are becoming and that in which progress has left a memory imprinted within our cells.  How do we find such a place? Will we know when we have found it or is it merely a state of mind? One in which harmony is found only wit ..read more

A few years ago on an unsuspecting late summer evening at the farm with Mark, I walked along the side of the grove as I often would do while he was busy working - walking beside a living history that had seen and withstood more seasons than I could merely ever dream to know. One foot set in front of the other, I followed an unsuspecting path left by the tires of a tractor. A path pressed into the earth and laid before me - leading me in a direction in which would uncover one of the most meaningful and beautiful experiences in my life. It continues to serve as a reminder that the most simple of ..read more

  So much of life and beautiful time we waste by being distracted by the notion of waiting. We fail to realize that living and waiting are always present within each other. That waiting is not a suspension of time, but a fueling of hope. It’s often within the season of waiting we find the truest meaning of living. It’s within the waiting we find an unmatchable peace that can enliven our senses and inspire our spirit. It’s in the waiting that we have the opportunity to make every beautiful breath extraordinary. And if we are brave enough to look, it’s within that quieted season of wai ..read more

I cried tonight. I muffled my sobs within the palms of my hands as streams from the shower above raced my tears to the drain. A rolling steam engulfed me as I felt myself within the grips of disbelief - grasping for a different truth. I cried for the life I feel we have just gotten the chance to finally live and dream about and could lose at such an unfair cost. I cried at the thought of one of us getting sick and being separated during these tough moments.  I cried at hearing the panic in your voice and reading it within your texts as we realized the scenario we feared was becoming more a ..read more

When the future seems anything but promised you simply stop dreaming and start merely living - immersed and grateful in the present moment you’ve been given for the heartache of unknown tomorrows becomes too much to bare. The dreams that once permeated your life have dissolved into a silent yet palpable hope - becoming the only stability in which your life owns. And, truthfully, those dreams don’t seem to matter anymore. We mourn them, and they silently live embedded within our hearts forever as we set our eyes upon the present and simply find the most happiness amidst the act itself of simply ..read more

Continued from previous post….  Living with cystic fibrosis feels as if I’m desperately clinging to the side of a mountain’s ragged and crumbling edge, my face pressed against its side as I hold my breath with arms outstretched wide - my hands desperate to find something that will hold my tired grip. I can feel my toes tightly curled within my shoes trying to anchor myself to the thin rocky ledge which isn't wide enough to fit both of my feet. I feel the wind daring to pulling against my body as I try and steady myself. If I lose my focus to the rocky terrain that surrounds me, and I catch ..read more

From the moment we breathe our first breath numbers assign themselves to our existence. Our lives forever in tandem with a changing yet unmovable system that defines our days and silently seems to set a value upon our lives. Some remain a marker for our lives - bound by a memorable and meaningful moment reflected in a set of digits for all our days, while others are like a steady ripple in which cannot be contained to a single moment.   A Disease in Numbers My life with CF has been bound and defined by numbers. The very basis of cystic fibrosis realized within an abnormal sweat chloride lev ..read more

“....to just be normal”. It’s a seemingly empty wish that has found itself upon my lips on numerous occasions - leaving echoes of its pleas reverberating through my mind. That set of words usually is married with tears that come in the form of an emotional release that have been building and can no longer be contained. These moments are most often a culmination of living at the mercy of the unexpected and unknown realities of CF.  A New "Normal" I woke up this morning allowing myself to realize that for the last week I haven’t spent my mornings dry heaving over the sink due to nonstop cou ..read more