Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
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An independent practice of counseling, consultation, and education devoted to the needs of young children, teenagers, and their parents.
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
Recent advances in brain research have confirmed for us that there are qualitative differences between the brain of an adolescent and that of an adult, impacting the way adolescents remember, think, reason, focus attention, make decisions, and relate. Dan Siegel, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA School Medicine, and author of many books related to the neuroscience of behavior and relationships, writes that these changes show up in the following ways — the adolescent’s search for: novelty, the company of peers, emotional intensity, and creative exploration.
Can these qualiti ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
You’d think that’s where a therapist would start, and maybe many do. I find it a task better suited to doing therapy with adults though, who typically are self-referred and have thought enough about therapy to actually have treatment goals. Moreover, most adults in therapy don’t feel as strong a need to save face as might a defensive teen, who is there only because someone said she should be, and for whom engaging in a conversation about treatment goals is akin to conceding that she does in fact belong in therapy: If I agree to work on a problem, they’ll think that I believe I have it.
We can ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
People often say they find it easier to empathize with individuals with whom they share a history or religion or culture or occupation than with individuals with whom they feel they have little in common. At first blush it makes sense; you figure you can more easily appreciate what someone else is going through once you’ve “been there” or at least know a bunch of other people who have been there. At the very least, you are familiar with some of the circumstances. But by complacently accepting this idea that, in order to understand other people, you have to walk a mile in their shoes ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
If you’re struggling to get genuine conversations going with your teenager, consider these three questions.
“I try to ask open-ended questions like they told me to but even still, my daughter just kind of shrugs and gives me only a word or two before going upstairs to her room…” Are you asking about something she’s genuinely interested in talking about?
It’s probably not any of these topics:
Her day at school.
How she thinks she did on her math test.
How practice went.
How much does she have left to do on her science project.
Whether she completed her chores.
Ask her instead w ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
When we first learned about therapy and the importance of a good therapeutic alliance, our attention was directed toward a small but unwavering group of principles that were understood to be critical in fostering this kind of connection. We were taught to demonstrate to our clients empathy, confidentiality, and unconditional support so that clients could tell we were compassionate and safe to talk with and, presumably, feel good about trying therapy. Basically, we chased them.
As therapists, we generally think of rapport as something built over time, and that it is the time together that ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
Is this what it feels like to you when you ask your ADHD son to complete his chores?
“I don’t really get after him when he doesn’t listen to me because he’s got ADHD…” the parent of an inattentive 11 yr old explains, forgetting to make the distinction between inattentiveness and frank disregard.
Parents and educators often mistake a kid’s inattentiveness for an attention deficit disorder when that kid is simply ignoring the adults’ directives. By not holding children or teenagers accountable for their intentional lack of attention, or regard, or response, we are enabling them to hide behi ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
Therapists sometime struggle to get their teenager therapy clients to open cup in session. Here are three things teen therapists can do to facilitate conversation with their clients.
Well, the first thing is to avoid ever saying to them that you’re trying to get them to “open up.” It sounds so one-sided, intrusive even. Yes, kids in therapy know what they’re there for and what therapy is about, but one person opening up to another is not a conversation; it’s a confessional, or can feel like one to a teenager who’s being pried for information. What you want is a two-way, reciprocal exch ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
We use “typical teen behavior” to refer to a broad range of things our teens do, much of it unbecoming. Whenever they appear moody, or stop talking to us, or resist our reminders about from everything from deadlines to hygiene, our go-to explanation is that they’re just being typical teens.
But are they? Or have we just become so accustomed to thinking about adolescents as defiant and non-communicative that we no longer take the time to try and understand what’s really going on when they seem distant from us or unhappy.
Take Kayla and her mom. For the past two weeks, sixteen year ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
1M ago
1. ”Insight is important for change.”
Not really. In fact, I think that a lot of the tasks associated with acquiring insight distract from the more immediate task of therapy, that is, getting kids to feel better or do things differently, or to think about things or themselves or others differently. The language of traditional, insight-oriented therapy is foreign to kids; it’s not how they will move through and past their problems.
2. “Rapport is king.”
Again, not necessarily. In the spirit of establishing rapport with adolescent clients, many therapists set the scale too heavily in favor of em ..read more
Dr. Janet Sasson Edgette - Parenting Children & Teens Blog
5M ago
You’d think that’s where a therapist would start, and maybe many do. I find it a task better suited to doing therapy with adults though, who typically are self-referred and have thought enough about therapy to actually have treatment goals. Moreover, most adults in therapy don’t feel as strong a need to save face as might a defensive teen, who is there only because someone said she should be, and for whom engaging in a conversation about treatment goals is akin to conceding that she does in fact belong in therapy: If I agree to work on a problem, they’ll think that I believe I have it.
We can ..read more