By Dave Jaffe (Warning to sensitive readers: The following article contains the word ‘badass’, as does this sentence.) Bruce Lee was bad for karate. Were he still with us, I’m confident that comment would momentarily intrigue him enough not to hurt me. “What . . . what I mean, Mr. Lee, sir,” I’d stammer to him while slowly backing away and toward the parking lot, “What I mean is that you were a total martial arts BADass! And that’s made karate harder for me.” He’d smirk then, I imagine, and slowly and deliberately flex his . . . well, everything. (He could do that!) Then in cheerful cam ..read more

  Learning your family health history can be a valuable medical resource. And the best way to discover that history is to talk with your tipsy Uncle Max at Thanksgiving. No one quite knows who Uncle Max is or just how he’s related to the family. He says he’s 92, but has claimed that for the last decade. He’s kind of sullen and frightens the children. But he knows every life-threatening illness of every family member dating back to the 1400s. And he’s thrilled to recount every hideous detail. Family gathered around the TV watching football. UNCLE MAX: “Oooo! That’s a helluva tackle! (Sippi ..read more

  Spiritual tranquility, serene mind, and peaceful outlook are healthy mental attitudes best developed by throwing deadly sharp axes – a sort of ancient Pilates introduced to Europe and Asia by the invading Mongol hordes. To calm my excitable emotional mindset, which routinely toggles between anger, resentment, and Wordle, I thought I’d have a go at axes. But what is axe throwing? Where is it done? Who’s doing it? And how deeply involved is my creepy neighbor? Once exclusive to the lumberjack community, competitive axe throwing proliferated across the US in the early 2000s as a popular ba ..read more

As we age, the biggest threat to maintaining high-quality eyesight is, of course, my butt. Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. A common complaint of aging is of the diminution of the senses: hearing, vision . . .uh, color, is it? And . . .um . . . a couple others? Also memory. But we’ll cover that in a separate essay. Or did I already? Aaaany way, let’s take a hard, somewhat blurry look at vision! The eyes, it is said, are the gateway to the heart. Also, a window on the soul. While there’s long been disagreement on whether they’re a gateway or a window, either one is bound to cause a draft. So ..read more

  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Chicago) Canine regulars at dog parks nationwide are abuzz that Sleeping between Giants Book 2, Ask a Terrier: Professional Advice from a Licensed Dog is the winner of a prestigious 17th Annual National Indie Excellence® Awards (NIEA). “What an achievement!” slobbered Rocky the Boxer on hearing the news. “Do I get a num-num?” Sleeping between Giants Book 2 by Dave Jaffe and featuring Budleigh, the Terrier with ‘Tude, is the sequel to the multiple national award-winning book Sleeping between Giants: Life, If You Could Call It That, With A Terrier. SbG Book 2 won th ..read more

  The existential threat from artificial intelligence is as misunderstood, misconstrued, and misinterpreted as the word “existential”. Popular media would have us believe that in corporate offices worldwide, employees are quietly being murdered by A.I.-controlled filing cabinets. OFFICE MANAGER: (Distractedly to no one) “Oh, ChatUnderling, have you seen the folder with the Rutherford account?” CHAT UNDERLING: “It. Is. Filed. Un-Un-Un-Under ‘F through J’. Master.” OM: (Sighs) “Please, don’t call me that. Fine! I’ll just get it myself!” (Sound of chair squeaking, drawer sliding open, then a ..read more

  The threat from recently downed spy balloons is exaggerated, agree even the most conspiracy-minded national security heads including many of our Blue Lizard Alien overlords. To soothe the American public’s fears, it’s helpful to know that balloons have been used for covert activities for more than 200 years. In 1783, the pioneering French balloonists Montgolfier brothers, inappropriately named “Lance” and “Clawed”, launched the first manned hot-air balloon from which they hocked luggies down on unsuspecting Parisians too startled to look up. Over the years ballooning sputtered as a surv ..read more

  And because you’re a member of our pack, you hear it first Click on the link below and prepare to be … teased! Budleigh the Terrier Speaks! More or Less… More details coming soon ..read more

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