I am collapsed for the third time and confessed some extremely malignant narcissistic stuff to my therapist. I still don't know if she believes I'm narcissistic/sociopathic but she is doing this new thing where she is saying she is going to encourage me to go through sessions with her without my mask, because she says I can at least be unmasked around her. So far I'm just like a terrified 2 year old and its embarrassing. It literally feels like my brain has a scaped knee, its a physical pain. Weirdly I also often dissociate, my eyes refuse to look at the therapist. I've noticed this before ..read more

Like I previously posted I'm in my 40s and until recently hadn't felt true emotions since early childhood. For a long time before getting my emotions back I treated supply like a highly addictive drug and did my best to stay away from supply. I'm odd in that for me to get supply there has to be an emergency situation to deal.with. I figured out late in my career that I picked it specifically for this reason. I basically retired in order to heal and stay away from these scenarios. About a week ago I found myself in one of these situations and it felt great! Despite this, my emotions lowered si ..read more

I am extremely arrogant. it has affected all of my relationships. i live meaninglessly and i am miserable. People talk as if curing arrogance is so simple. All you need to do is ‘reflect’, think of yourself as just like others or to learn and listen from others. ITS NOT THAT EASY being humble is so hard for me. i want to change but its not that easy submitted by /u/Hungry_Huckleberry50 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I feel like I have been unable to keep anything going for longer one year at the most. I suppose some of the common problems include me being too self absorbed and only caring about my own problems, not listening, lying, being unempathetic without realizing it, or failing to communicate my feelings properly (this last one is a big one because then all this secrecy develops). submitted by /u/aprilmelodyart [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

This is a dumb post, I know lmao. I’m bored and trying to cope with other stuff so here we are. Neither of these terms are used officially or clinically but alas, we’re on the World Wide Web where everyone comes up with 20 different terms for the same concept. This is just a rant about the term “equal person” - hell no, ain’t no one equal to me ? This term is really interesting to me when narcissists use it, because even thinking that way makes me cringe. Let alone saying it audibly or typing it. I prefer “chosen person” because a) it maintains my power and control with my own choosing of who ..read more

It’s been 6 months since my ex left me and there’s been no communication since and we’ve blocked each other everywhere. It takes a long time to get over someone we actually got close to versus someone we just got supply from. It’s also so much worse when they leave us rather than the other way around. Someone not wanting to be with us confounds and wounds the ego. I was in collapse for a long time since he left and I felt all my feels about everything and did so much work processing my core, childhood wounding. It’s still a work in progress as I’m still in therapy and celibate but now that my ..read more

I lost my EP, and I'm barely getting better after 3 weeks, I'm just feel like a loser for beliving he wouldn't leave. I can't know what is he on about but I belive he's lying about me to his friends after he blocked me with no explanation, maybe my paranoid delusions just are getting worse. All I want to do is reach out to him, but I don't because it might just make things worse for me and our "relationship". I can't move on, he just ended our friendship like if I was nothing and that is the reason why I'm going though one of the worse crashes I had, he's an idiot or at least that's what all ..read more

My life is in complete shambles in almost all aspects in my life. i see that im a bad person, i know the truth of my character. but i still dont want change???? i want to change but i dont?? idk what to do about this. how can i want change? submitted by /u/Hungry_Huckleberry50 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I think everything is about me. Like, in a paranoid defensive way mostly. But I’m so fuckd up that I’ll read posts on here and think it’s my boyfriend writing them about me maybe. LMFAOOOOOOO. I do this a lot. Assume the tweet or the story post is a nod to me. It makes me feel ashamed and dumb as fuck. What to call this? Anyone else do this? I might also have OCD or something lol I compulsively stalk my bfs Spotify and I will think his recently listened to songs/artists are communicating something to me specifically. I’m like is this a side effect of the self absorption that comes with NPD, o ..read more

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