Reprocessing the memories—even when you can’t remember
The Narcissist's Child Blog
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3y ago
Many ACoNs have trouble remembering significant portions of their childhoods. Some of us have specific periods of time inaccessible to us, others have the details of a significant event unavailable—even the significant event itself may be shrouded in darkness. Researchers believe that most people remember very little of their childhoods before the age of 5 or 6 and memories from an earlier age likely fall into one of two categories: 1) “snapshot” memories, which are more like images than a full memory, and 2) false or created memories, often caused by having heard about an event and believing ..read more
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Entitlement—you, me, and the narcissist
The Narcissist's Child Blog
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3y ago
We all know that one of the hallmarks of narcissism is an overweening sense of entitlement, but just what does the word “entitlement” actually mean? The Oxford English Dictionary first defines it as “the fact of having a right to something[1].” That doesn’t seem very pernicious, does it? In fact, it sounds quite reasonable—don’t we all have rights to certain things, like Human Rights? Scanning further down the OED entry, however, we come across this little entry: “The belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment[2].” Now that sounds more like the narcissist’s se ..read more
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DARVO--what you need to know...
The Narcissist's Child Blog
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3y ago
The acronym DARVO stands for “Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender” and perfectly describes how a narcissist behaves when caught and held to account. Never having come across it before, I was gobsmacked when I read up on it and realized just how well it describes the primary narcissist in my life, my (thankfully now-deceased) mother. Dr. Jennifer J. Freyd, Professor of Psychology at the University of Oregon and a Fellow at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University coined the term in 1997 and in 2019 published a paper entitled “What is DARVO?” Fr ..read more
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Volition
The Narcissist's Child Blog
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3y ago
According to the dictionary, “volitional” means “with deliberate intent.”[1]Volition, then, means intentional—on purpose—deliberate. It is a word that is inextricably linked to choice and is very, very important. When my youngest child was in school, he was very challenging, behaviourally. He had a high IQ and numerous learning disabilities (diagnosed by a specialist), and his behaviours were sometimes peculiar: he would take a toy from another child by force—sometimes even hurting the other child in the process—and half an hour later be hurt and bewildered when that child refused to play wit ..read more
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