I’ve been doing a great deal of reflecting over the past weeks since receiving the anonymous letter about The Narcissist in the mail. At first, that letter launched me into action. I wanted to bring down The Narcissist, I wanted to help that young girl, and I wanted to help any future girls who could be hurt by him. Receiving the letter triggered an immense amount of guilt which was not mine to bear and that guilt combined with a need to take action launched me back into writing. I immediately posted here on the blog after almost a full year, and I also started officially writin ..read more

Since I posted about the anonymous letter I received, I wanted to provide my readers with the same “closure” I have found on this story. After receiving the letter, I was obviously worried for a few reasons – worried that this could be a scheme for The Narcissist to make contact with me somehow, and if that was not the case, I was worried for the young girl mentioned in the letter. Unfortunately the letter left me with no one to contact and feeling like there was nothing I could do to stop The Narcissist (a feeling I remember all too well.) So, to put myself at ease, I started doing my own det ..read more

I’m three years out. THREE YEARS OUT… and in the midst of my normal, happy, sane life I am reminded of just how far I have come in that time. Yesterday, I received two anonymous letters in my mailbox. They were addressed to me with my maiden name, and mailed to my new home address. They had no return address. Inside each envelope was a card, with a folded sheet of computer paper inside. These print-outs read: “How well do you know “The Narcissist”? Do you know he is a gamer? Do you know he meets young girls on those games? Do you know he has been talking to a 18 yr old girl for 3 years? Do yo ..read more

I’ve always been a huge fan of poetry and used to dabble in writing it myself. I found that in the early days post separation from The Narcissist, I related a lot to the words of poets like r.h. sin. He has a new book out “I hope this reaches her too” which I think will resonate with many of you reading this blog. I saw this poem pop up in a news feed and couldn’t help but think I wish I had read those words at some point in time. So now I share them with all of you… and I mean it. I wanted to share it today, as I sit here on the other side of it all because I could have ne ..read more

Stumbled upon an eye opening read this morning… Long-Term Narcissistic Abuse Can Cause Brain Damage by Kim Saaed . In this article, Kim discusses the actual impacts to the brain that are caused by a continued state of high cortisol and constantly living in the fear and anxiety caused by narcissistic abuse. While it still makes me feel crummy to read that there are actually physical changes that happened to my brain as a result of what I lived through, it was also nice to see that there has been a proven link between using EMDR as a form of therapy and seeing some of those effects reversed ..read more

I can’t speak highly enough of the One Love Foundation and the content that they share online to educate about abusive relationships and how to help loved ones who are in an abusive relationship. For Valentine’s Day this year they have launched a campaign hoping to teach people what healthy love looks like. This is a topic that I agree with on so many levels. We teach children so many things in life but don’t spend a lot of time (if any) on what a healthy relationship should look like. Personally, my parents gave me a pretty good picture of what love looks like growing up, I am one of th ..read more

I was just aimlessly scrolling through Pinterest trying to kill some time during an afternoon slump at work and I came across this quote. It triggered a little rabbit hole of memories that made me want to write and share. “As a little girl, I was scared that there would be monsters sleeping under my bed. Never did I imagine that I would grow up, and have a real one sleeping in it, right beside me, and oh so very soundly.” I can vividly remember laying in bed listening to him snore soundly asleep while I was trying to quietly sob so that I wouldn’t wake him up and make things worse. Laying wi ..read more

While The Narcissist pops into my head less and less these days (strangely last week while watching male figure skating haha), the blog has been on my mind pretty regularly. I am still tracking comments and contacts, and seeing the regular flow of traffic that is still coming to this site is just mind-blowing. I want to keep posting and providing information for those of you who are still dealing with the mess of a current Narcissistic Personality Disorder situation or cleaning up after one, however for my own healing it’s hard to stay in that emotional space for too long. So I promise to keep ..read more

Sometimes just when all of the puzzle pieces are falling into place and everything feels right in your world you have a completely and totally unexpected run in with The Narcissist. Mine happened today… in one of my safe and well-known places… Whole Foods. I was literally rounding a corner and almost got hit with the carriage of the person rounding the corner from the other aisle… I looked up, and it was The Narcissist. My gut reaction was “deer-in-the-headlights” wtf is happening right now. I said “Hey” glanced down at the ground and made a bee-line for the cashier. None of the cashiers were ..read more

Some of you may have seen this all over social media today: “If all the women (and men) who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote “Me too.” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem. #MeToo ” I felt the need to speak up on this topic in this safe space. I think when you start to finally stand up for yourself in any aspect of your life, it becomes easier to see the other times where you wish you would have. My freshman year of high school, a junior guy came to the house I was babysitting at. We were making out and he kept asking me to hav ..read more