AS residents of the driest state in the driest continent on Earth, with a summer season that seems to start earlier every year, we South Australians frequently have to answer the question: what does one wear in a heatwave? What possible outfit can one put together that not only keeps a person cool but actually looks cool after days on end of 40 plus degree heat? We women have it relatively easy: we can wear breezy skirts and dresses, singlets and clothes made of flimsy, airy materials, without anyone questioning our sexuality or professionalism in the workplace. I pity poor men, for whom t ..read more

FOR the first time in, well, perhaps ever, I had an alcohol-free New Year’s Eve. Not because of any desire to be healthy, or to “start the new year sober”, or even to show off on Facebook about how I didn’t have a hangover on January 1. It just happened that way. I’d had to attend a funeral earlier in the day, it was hot and I was tired – not exactly optimum partying conditions. Also, I’m over 35 so a cup of tea and early bed is what partying looks like to me now anyway. But, as the festivities around us pumped out the top pop hits of the millennium, it was clear, at least partially, why I ..read more

AS a child, one of my favourite books was Enid Blyton’s The Magic Faraway Tree, part of a series which chronicled the adventures of four children as they travelled to fantastical worlds through an enchanted tree. Jo, Bessie and the unfortunately named Dick and Fanny would climb up the tree and pop through the clouds at the top to wind up in all manner of exciting worlds, like the “land of toys” or the “land of presents” or, my favourite, the “land of do as you please”, which is exactly what it says: Bessie eats six ice creams at once, Jo hijacks a train, and Fanny rides an elephant before th ..read more

HE may have slain the Hydra and put a leash on Cerberus the three headed monster dog, but if Hercules wanted to prove himself in 2016 I’d give him just one task: Christmas shopping in Rundle Mall. If you’ve been to our city’s premiere shopping strip lately you’ll know what I’m talking about. Crushing crowds, expensive parking and annoying buskers playing Christmas songs no one enjoys too loudly. Thankfully the angry Clive Palmer lookalikes, blue balls and green muppet arms that pretended to be decorations in previous years have been replaced with pretty pine trees and festive bunting, so at ..read more

IT’S hard to peg 2016 as officially the worst year in history. 1914 and 1939 weren’t great, for instance. 1348 saw a third of the population of Europe killed by the Black Death. And 410 was pretty bad for the Romans. As was 455, 546, 1084 and 1527. (Seriously, Rome had more sackings than a season of Celebrity Apprentice.) There have been plenty more dangerous, deadly and downright horrible years in history than we’ve experienced over the the last 12 months, but if you’re an avid consumer of news it’s difficult not to look back on 2016 with some scorn. This was the year we lost David Bowie ..read more

SAINT Mother Teresa once said, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one”. It’s heart warming to see that in 2016 her words are still being heeded, albeit with one crucial addendum: “as long as you put it on Facebook”. Because it might be the season of giving, but what good is giving without getting likes, shares and follows? What is the point of doing something charitable if you can’t boast about it on social media, end up in the news and potentially land yourself a lucrative TV or publishing deal? Altruism? Bah, humbug! Take the little American girl and her father who have ..read more

JUST when I thought nothing could alarm me more than Donald Trump being elected President, I’ve discovered I actually agree with the Australian Christian Lobby on something. Yes, the same Australian Christian Lobby that thinks gay people shouldn’t be afforded the same rights as straight people and believes in criminalising abortion, and last week celebrated the fact that terminally ill South Australians still can’t voluntarily end their own lives with dignity. In planetary terms: if the ACL’s policy ledger were the sun, I would be Pluto. But it seems there is one thing on which we agree: th ..read more

OF all the terrible places to wind up during this week’s blackouts — and boy, were there a few — lying on an operating table surely had to be among the worst. That’s what happened to Adelaide woman Dee, who was just about to go under the knife at Flinders Medical Centre on Wednesday when the lights went out and everything suddenly turned into a B-grade horror movie. “Everything just went black, and my blood pressure, I’m sure, went completely through the roof,” she told the ABC on Thursday. “So I lay there on the table for about an hour while we waited for the Bureau of Meteorology to give ..read more

I remember the day I got my first mobile phone. It was 1998, when I was thinner, and phones were fatter. Mine was the size of a small brick with a thick rubbery antenna sticking out the top, and it made beeping sounds when you pushed the squishy light-up buttons. The screen showed a single line of digits only (reading a long text message was an exercise in saintly patience) and it refused to fit in any pocket ever designed outside of military combat uniforms. If you handed it to a young person now they’d probably stare at you blankly and wonder how anyone played Pokemon on a screen that sma ..read more

I DON’T care about Brad and Angelina’s divorce. I don’t care one bit. That’s because I don’t care about mindless celebrity gossip. I only care about important things like saving the rhinos and recycling and world peace. See, I’m a serious, thoughtful, intelligent adult who doesn’t have time for silly celebrity stories and ... OH WHO AM I KIDDING, OF COURSE I CARE, I’VE READ ALL THE REPORTS, I CAN’T STOP READING THE REPORTS, I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT AND I WANT TO KNOW MORE. And if you’re not lying to yourself, you’ll admit the same. I woke up to the news of Hollywood’s reigning power couple po ..read more