My story of Eldest Daughter Recovery is pretty amazing, if I back off enough to witness it as a whole story instead of “things I did when I had to do them.” Instead of minimizing it just because it’s my own experience. It’s so easy to just brush major things aside like they’re normal everyday happenstance. But let’s break it down… I knew something was weird with my relationship with my mother from a very early age. I remember thinking that she felt cold to me, and dad felt warm. She fed me and clothed me and took me to the doctor. She did all the things you have to do to keep a child alive. Bu ..read more

Curiosity is a powerful force that fuels our thirst for knowledge, discovery, and understanding. For neurodivergent individuals, curiosity takes on a unique significance because everything suddenly becomes a bajillion times more fascinating and exciting – and yes, we can even use it to shine a light on the machinations behind our jealousy.  In episode 85 of The Neurodivergent Creative Podcast, I talk about how we can explore our jealousy with intention and curiosity and how we can use it to unravel our innermost desires. The Neurodivergent Creative Podcast is now available on YouTube! Ta ..read more

For neurodivergent individuals, hobbies can play a crucial role in providing a sense of identity, purpose, and creative expression. Whether it be painting, writing, playing music, or any other passion, hobbies can provide a safe haven for many individuals. However, unlike what society might expect, individuals on the neurodivergent spectrum might interact with hobbies differently from the neurotypical population. Additionally, executive functioning challenges can present obstacles to neurodivergents pursuing their passion. That’s because the demands of organizing and planning can be overwhelmi ..read more

Tired of having a to-do list that feels like it’s evading and taunting you at the same time? Well then, I think it’s time we talk about the little pest called ‘Pathological Demand Avoidance’ together… stick around while I spill the beans on what it is, how it can throw a speed bump in your plans, and how one of my fabulous clients outsmarted this neurodivergent productivity-fiend. The Neurodivergent Creative Podcast is now available on YouTube! Table of Contents WHAT THE HECK EVEN IS DEMAND AVOIDANCE? DUSTING OFF THE D20: GAMIFICATION TO THE RESCUE! Key Points, Quotable Sass, & All That ..read more

I will never forget the time I was speaking to a potential client and I told her that I loved the fact that my ADHD led me through so many types of jobs. I talked about it like it was a wonderful, rich career – and I could see on her face that she had never once let herself think of her ADHD as a good thing. Her eyes went wide, her expression softened, and she only said one thing. A very quiet, “Oh.”  We are taught that “job hopping” is a bad thing, and that it shows a lack of loyalty. But I think it puts the loyalty back where it belongs: to our needs and desires.  The job market is ..read more

My brother’s girlfriend Marissa was like an older sister to my sister and me. She taught me to drive when I was fifteen, accelerating in hesitant loops around my high school parking lot before working up to actual roads and highways. I shadowed her at work for a school assignment (she was a housekeeper — I hated it). She sang and made art, and my brother looked at her like she was sent from heaven just for him. She was everything to me that I needed in a female role model. And she often took us to the Cleveland Museum of Art — The Dream by Salvador Dali still haunts me — or the Cleveland Zoo f ..read more

Ever since you were young, you wrote. You loved assignments in elementary school that had you write and illustrate a story. You copied picture books and put your own spin on them, or designed your own stories from scratch. You felt the zing of creativity. You followed your passions and whims. You knew you were a writer. You got older. Your life became consumed with learning. Learning how you should be, who you should be. How you should create. How you should prioritize achievements over creativity. Which parts of your creativity were most celebrated and which were a waste of time. You stopped ..read more

Over the past week I’ve dreamed about my former best friend twice. I almost said ex best friend — because it feels like an ex situation. Why don’t we have more of a cultural narrative around friendships ending? In the first dream, I needed a place to stop for safety. There was a sense of urgency and fear, as if I was being chased. I was near my friend’s house, so I went there and no one was home. I went inside. They didn’t come home any time soon so I ended up sleeping there, with my dog Gwen. In the morning, I heard the door open and voices downstairs. It was very “Goldilocks and the Three Be ..read more

I cut contact with my mother in January 2017. It was a sudden decision, but it also wasn’t. I had spent several months (if not a couple years) beforehand learning about emotional abuse by reading books like Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Karyl McBride, Toxic Parents by Susan Forward, and Codependent No More by Melony Beattie. And I used to hide these books. I couldn’t let anyone know that I suspected my mother of abuse. But the more I learned, and the more I noticed as a neutral observer instead of an emotional reactor, I couldn’t really deny it. My parents were two ends of a spectrum. On my mo ..read more

You know those icebreakers that happen at the start of a new group program, or a Zoom meet-up, or college orientation? The ones where they ask you to tell two truths and a lie about yourself (I have an amazing hack for that game btw), or share a “fun fact” that people don’t usually know about you? Yeah, I could definitely say “I’m a published author!” at those, but I have spent the past four years only kind-of remembering that I am one. Not anymore though! I’ve recently been spending time with my past writer-self. Specifically, two versions of my writer self. The first is the writer who starte ..read more