I’ve had the pleasure of going to a number of funerals over the past year and I mean that in the best possible way. Being in my forties I don’t attend as many social functions as I used to and, until my friends and family members move on to their second or third marriages, funerals [&hellip The post The Big Sleep appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

It is with some sadness that I announce the passing of our Elf on the Shelf Twinkle Sapphire Sparkle Moonbeam. Christmas can be a stressful time of year and it’s even more so for Santa’s little helpers. Being an Elf on the Shelf isn’t an easy calling. The hours are tough, the commute is even [&hellip The post RIP Twinkle, Our Elf on the Shelf appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

The Holidays can be a stressful time of year and, as the shopping days to Christmas wind down, it can be tough to find a gift for the one you love. Women are complex creatures and, let’s face it, men aren’t always the best when it comes to gift giving. I’m no expert when it [&hellip The post Christmas Shopping For Your Wife in Five Easy Steps appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

It’s no secret that couples play games. Unfortunately the longer a marriage goes on the fewer of those games are the fun ones that involve a riding crop, a blind fold and a tray of ice cubes. Over the past fifteen years my wife and I have been playing a number of games. “Pronoun Trouble” [&hellip The post Games Couples Play appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

“Hello I’m Robyn Castellante reporting live for KSTD at the Green Groves One Mile Fun Run for the American Lung Association. Despite the rain there’s been a good turnout. I’m speaking with Richard Black who just took part in the Kindergarten through third grade portion of the event.” “Thanks Robyn it’s great to be here [&hellip The post Crushing the One Mile Fun Run appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

Halloween is over and, with its passing, comes the most frightening time of year. This isn’t to say that Halloween wasn’t terrifying. Over the course of four hours on Halloween night some twenty small children ran rampant in my dog turd studded yard before tracking feces and candy wrappers and bits of popcorn inside my [&hellip The post Halloween: a Precursor to Horror appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

I never truly understood what a gift I was providing the world when I became a parent. I’m not referring to my daughter who is also a boon to the human race. Darcy is a delightful child and bright, inquisitive, thoughtful and most of the things I am not. Over the past seven years as [&hellip The post My Gift to the World appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

What’s in a name?   It’s a fair question to ask and certainly a rose would smell like a rose regardless of the name it’s been given. Then again if roses were called “Ass Flowers” or “Toejam Specials” I imagine they’d be a lot less popular. Sure they’d smell like roses but I’m willing to [&hellip The post What’s in a Name? appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

Last night my wife woke up and came downstairs to check the thermostat because that’s what married women do in the middle of the night. Laura noticed that the setting had changed and came to the logical conclusion that someone had broken into our home to change the thermostat and, being a good wife, woke [&hellip The post The Difference Between the Sexes appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more

A few years ago, before we were married, I made a rule. The gist of the rule was that no one in the house should ask a question to which they wouldn’t want an answer and, over the course of more than a decade, it’s worked beautifully…at least on my part. It turns out that [&hellip The post Don’t Ask and Don’t Tell appeared first on The Unfit Father ..read more