(Re)starting Vocal Feminization
The Bearded Genderqueer
by Haven Wilvich
9M ago
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I am valuable just by existing
The Bearded Genderqueer
by Haven Wilvich
1y ago
I just had the most amazing EMDR therapy session that I have to gush about! One of the strongest messages that I’ve gotten through my early life is that my primary value and purpose in life is to help others. It first came from my parents who are both incredibly helpful people to their communities and find a lot of purpose in that. And then it came from my ex wife who had a much more toxic view where my primary job was to serve her and make her comfortable at my own expense including doing very public acts of service to make us look good as a couple. I don’t think my parents taught me that wit ..read more
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Fuck America
The Bearded Genderqueer
by Haven Wilvich
1y ago
I cannot begin to tell you just how stressful it is being a trans person in America right now. I am someone with a lot of privilege as a white middle class person living in a Blue state, but even so, it is very very scary just trying to exist. Every day more and more of my rights are taken away across this rotting cesspool of a country. I’m not sure how long it will be before it’s safe for me to take a roadtrip outside of the West Coast again. And as the borders close in around me and bills constantly come forward from the right wing of my own state, I feel like even my own liberal bubble is t ..read more
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What have I been up to
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
1y ago
It’s been a few months since I updated this blog so I figured it was time to give an update. The last few months have been very busy with starting the Seattle Trans and Nonbinary Choral Ensemble (STANCE) and getting it up and running. We have auditions this week and I’m very excited to say that we hit my goal of 50 signups! After 5 years of dreaming and scheming, it is so exciting to finally see this coming together. If you want to get in for an audition slot last minute, there still a few calendar times open. Signup at www.stanceseattle.org/join_us. The biggest hurdle so far has been getting ..read more
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I finally Transitioned. So now what?
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
2y ago
Today I ran across a meme that said “Okay, you’ve transitioned. So what are you plans for the rest of your life? – I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d get this far…” and girl howdy did it resonate. Realizing I was trans AND having to get a messy divorce at the same time really threw my life off. I lost any forward momentum that I had and instead focused on getting myself a career that would allow me to transition. And I did that pretty successfully. I found people who cared about me and supported me for who I really was, both in my personal life and my professional life, and I successfully naviga ..read more
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Trans Day of Visibility 2022
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
2y ago
Today is Trans Day of Visibility and while not all trans people want to be visible, I am very happy that I am. A lot of people are sharing before and after photos but for me, there never was a true before and after. I have always been trans, there were just phases of my life where I didn’t have the language to access that part of my authenticity. From a young age I was very gender non-conforming and I adopted that label quietly in college at age 20. It wasn’t until 2014 though that I finally began to see myself as Genderqueer and falling under the Trans umbrella thanks to help and advice from ..read more
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Sex and Dating Updates
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
2y ago
Things in my sex life have finally been going much better. I still have only orgasmed on my own the once but it’s starting to get a lot more reliable with good partners. One person even managed to give me the best orgasms of my life two dates in a row! It’s nice to not end sex frustrated and worried about when and if it is going to happen. Instead I get to have that nice satisfied feeling and all the happy endorphins that I missed so much after my first surgery. The new orgasms feel so different than with my old parts. Before it was like climbing a mountain, seeing a beautiful view, and then c ..read more
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Solo Adventures
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
2y ago
I did it! After well over a year of trying I finally orgasmed from masturbation! This feels like a major milestone for me. Sex with a partner is absolutely wonderful but it feels empowering to be able to give that to yourself when you need a release. I’m so happy to finally have gotten to this point in healing. It’s been 17 months since my initial surgery and 3 months since my revision. It took a lot of experimentation and some fancy toys from Babeland but I finally got here ..read more
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Granulation tissue again
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
2y ago
I was so excited to reach the 6 week mark after my revision surgery so I could get in the hot tub and have sex again. But when I reached that point and did those things I started bleeding again. I went to the doctor to get it checked out and luckily it’s not an open wound but it is more granulation tissue. That means that I need to treat it with silver nitrate weekly until it clears up and possibly wait another couple months before having sex or hot tubbing again. Ugh ..read more
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Back home
The Bearded Genderqueer
by @GenderHaven
2y ago
I’m back home safe and sound now and so happy to spend time with my pets and sleep in my own bed. One of my partners came down to join my spouse and I the last week and the two of them drove me back. We took two days and stopped often to stretch and keep my blood flowing. Remarkably, the trip was pain free from a surgical site perspective which I didn’t expect. My back hurt by the end but that’s chronic pain life for you. Now that I’m home I’m going to be weaning off of the Gabapentin and hopefully feel less out of it. I tried to take my normal 1 mile walk with the dogs this morning and realiz ..read more
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