I had the most FUCKED dream I’ve had in a long while. It cracked my sturdy wall against all that means me harm, wide the fuck open. Follow me on this lil’ journey “real quick”. So in the dream I was a full grown adult in appearance but it was widely known that it was ”Baby-Jamila” who was navigating through this shitty dream (or nightmare rather). “Baby-Jamila” was being scrutinized; emotionally and verbally abused by a group of people (for whom I still don’t recognize and for what reason). They criticized my weight and appearance, they gaslit me, and because I was being sent to a facility to ..read more

No matter how hard it gets, no matter how alone or isolated I may feel; alone on an island with the weight of all these problems, to-do lists, pain, and flare-ups…somebody (or rather somebunny) loves me. And I’m certain that the same applies to y’all. Sometimes it may not feel that way or seem that way, but some one does. Love isn’t always enough but it lessens the blow of the worlds cruelty. Even when you’re on your last limb, everything is failing, the world is crumbling a round you; worst yet, a dumpster-fire, there IS someone. Someone who cares. And if you feel like there isn’t, chances ar ..read more

Raise your hand if you’re and old skool alt-head. I feel very old in saying this, but I’ve been deeply immersed in alternative styling and fashion for the majority of my life. I grew up in the Lower East side of Manhattan, New York, and even when I moved away…it was my second home and in many cases my refuge from my home at the time. I spent my formative years exposed to the different subculture scenes in the Village and from the age of 13 I’d take the train to Astor place and spin the heavily tagged and sticker-filled onyx cube, eating breakfast at Odessa’s, followed by afternoons in the then ..read more

I’m not gonna lie, this post is just so that I can gush over how amazing this fringe belt is. But I think I’d like to give yall a small list of statement belts that rock my socks and step things up several if not all of the notches. I’m a huge fan of belts and topper accessories alike; i.e. harnesses, gun holsters, cropped vests, corsets, etc… (to which I own them all). These are some of the easiest Hero-Pieces you’ll ever find, and in some case, that you’ll ever need. You’ll notice in the slideshow below; my tried & true/ first & foremost, is a spike or studded belt. And for my more b ..read more

There is indeed a crisp in the air and the aesthetics of fall are already in heavy rotation, but that doesn’t mean you have to be tied down to that aesthetic at all times. When I think about all of the ridiculous rules in fashion and how everyone is so hell bent on being trendy….it’s triggering. Who the hell came up with these bogus parameters, and why do people follow them? Nothing under the sun is original but you can be authentic and you can put a creative spin on everything and anything. There’s so much a person can do and people actively block themselves, actively put restriction on their ..read more

Losing connection with yourself and all of the relationships around you, AND, how I managed to deal with becoming a stranger to myself and who I used to be. When I first became ill I didn’t have the time to think about all of the ripple effect of what it would mean to have this illness extend well beyond the timeframe anyone would tolerate or even believe to be a one-off. Much like catching a cold, we all somewhat expect for it to rectify itself and recalibrate to “normalcy” within a week or two depending on how effective ones personal immune system is. Even with CSF Leaks, there’s a bit of a ..read more

Fall is undoubtedly my favorite season. I don’t think this is news about me nor do I think it isn’t a shared sentiment by most of my readers. The weather is top tier, the fashion is superior, and the colors that saturated the market are EVERYTHANG! Quick question, is there a state or country I can move to that is perpetually fall? Cuz a bitch like me has no use for anything else. I think I’m just salty about the heat and humidity of the Summer and we’re just on the tail end of the (in my opinion) worst season known to man so I’m being petty….but no seriously, I need to move. Most people compl ..read more

Hey ya’ll, I’m taking a break from CowCow this week, but next week we’re for sure back on track. One of the reasons I started this project (the one where I gush over the clothing pieces and brands that I feel have saved my life during all of my disabled years thus far) is to not only gush, but to be able to be somewhat of a resource to my fellow spoonies out there who understand what it’s like to feel like shit….but not wanting to look the way they feel. We may not share the same style (or maybe we do), but I promise you that all of the brands I shop with have something that’ll make you feel g ..read more

Finding ways to feel sexy while sick can also pose a challenge. When you’re by yourself just being a blanket burrito with no responsibilities and no one to motivate or press the ”Impress-Button”…. then that’s just fine I guess. But when you’re in a relationship and moreover you live with your significant other, and even more so you have been in a marriage/long-term relationship with them; you still need to put some razzle dazzle on it. If they love you they’ll accommodate and excursive patience and give grace. However, they’re human, they have needs, and much like life as a whole…the show must ..read more

Hey y’all, ya girl has been gone for a minute. I think its safe to say this whole pandemic has had everyone in a standstill. In 2019, like many of you, I felt that year to be one of the worst yet. I couldn’t wait for 2020 to roll in, I had so many plans. I’d just launched a business, and in my mind things were about to be the best they’ve ever been. Many of us felt this way. We reviled in the arrival of a new year and it’s new prospects. In came 2020 and boy were we all wrong. I was hit with the flu (or what I thought was the flu), I had never been this sick in my life (cold-wise). That on top ..read more