When we are born, we usually only have one doctor, a pediatrician, unless something is dire. Once we hit our late teens we move on to a primary care physician. For us women, we will add an OBGYN. What I have noticed is that as I age, it seems I add a new type of doctor each year! The Psychiatrist (Age 18) If you have read any of my blog before, you know I am mentally ill. Starting at age 14 (probably earlier) I was diagnosed with depression which morphed into major depressive disorder as I aged and is now chronic depressive disorder (I mean what else do you diagnose someone who has had depress ..read more

Ciao! Buongiorno! I had started learning a new language almost 200 days ago. At the time I was working for a furniture company whose headquarters is based in Italy. And while the Italians I had to work with spoke English, I thought it only fair to learn some Italian. Then, I left the company the end of September 2023, but the Italian bug remained strong and I have maintained my daily learning on Duolingo. Sure, I could’ve ended this venture. I mean why keep learning a language when you don’t need to anymore?! Turns out me sticking with learning my new language may come in handy afterall. My da ..read more

I am in my early 40s, at least for a couple more months and then I will turn 44 and enter my mid-40s (Eeek!). I know things change as you get older. I have already forgotten things (I mean that hit in my 20s!). I am beginning to fall apart physically (more to come in a different post). And of course, like with any female life change, the figure has gone to shit. I was never a skinny little thing. I always had some extra chub on me, but it was proportional to my body. In my 20s, everything was nice and firm. In my 30s, still pretty firm. But one day in my 40s I woke up and said, “What the fuck ..read more

I can’t believe I have not written a post in over 2 years. Honestly, it has been more like 2 1/2. I am hoping that will change. I have been so busy with work and parenthood that I put myself on the back burner, but I guess that is how it’s always been since I became a parent over 17 years ago. With the new year approaching that brings my daughter’s high school graduation and the beginning of college for her. Where does that leave me? I have been talking with my therapist about this. I am not sure I am cut out for this empty nest thing. What am I supposed to do with all this extra time?! My the ..read more

As we are approaching Father’s Day, I thought I would focus this True Crime Tuesday on dads. These two fathers should win ‘Father of the Year’. They are cordial, nice, and down right evil. How could a father kill their child?! So without further ado, ‘Father of the Year’ goes to: Dad: Robert Wood, 1999 Robert was the father to six children. Of importance to this award is his son, Christopher. Christopher was 11 when he died. This all started with a fire at their house. Robert decided that instead of doing the right thing by calling the police or the fire department, he would call his insuranc ..read more

It takes me a long time to recognize things about myself. I usually fall down a rabbit hole and discover why halfway up. The first time I lost myself, I had just given birth to my daughter. I knew I was a wife and a mother. But aside from being my daughter’s everything, I had no idea who I was. The next time I lost myself was after losing my foster son back to DCF (Department of Children & Families) in 2015. This broke me so much that I am still finding shards of myself on the floor today. I could not even perceive who I had become; I couldn’t see the person that was me anymore. I was m ..read more

Photo by Sharon Ang via Pixabay.com In college, I took a poetry class. Every week we had to write poetry based on something. I do not remember the prompt given at the time, but the poem below happened. ‘A Perfect 300’ is the highest score you can obtain in bowling. I have never gotten one, but at the time I worked in the campus bowling alley and would get pretty close. Now I bowl like I am a kid, I need bumpers to get anywhere close to 100. Here is the poem that formed in my head 20 years ago: A Perfect 300 S-T-R-I-K-E! The pins fall and I am putty to this game- When your roundness returns I s ..read more

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay Chapter One *Trigger Warning: Graphic/Assault* “Ahhhhhhh!” The piercing scream reverberated in my head. I could see a young woman. Her wild dark hair hung across her shoulders in sweaty strands. She was attached to something. I could not quite make it out what it was, but it looked like a wooden cross. No, no, that wasn’t right. It was a post, and she the scarecrow, resided in the middle of a cornfield. “What was she doing there?” I thought. Then I noticed the blood. Lots and lots of dark crimson. There was blood mixed with dirt caked on her ..read more

Every morning when I first wake up before I fully open my eyes, I remember how it used to be, life as it used to be. Some how I can still see it; a time where there were no masks, no political turmoil; a time where I had a purpose, a job, that gave me a reason to get up. 6 months later, and that remembrance of how life used to be has sailed away on the last gust of wind. In what seems like years, we as a nation can agree that these last 6 months have been depleting. My routine was forever changed on April 1st, 2020 when I found out my last day at work would be the following day. I was devasta ..read more

It is not a shock that I was laid-off due to Covid-19. I am one among thousands who were. This lay-off, though, has led to an interesting learning experience about medical insurance and medication. This will be a two-part blog series as there is a side story that I will twist with humor concerning GoodRx. I have spoken at great length about my extensive history with mental illness (yes, Stephanie, we know already!). I have been on various medications throughout these last 22 years (I didn’t start meds until I was 18). After two decades, my body said nope, not anymore to the antidepressant, Le ..read more