1. 70%+ of divorces are filed by women mainly due to loss of emotional security and emotional connection, both cripple their ability to trust their partner. 2. 100% of men I have spoken to over two decades do not know what emotional security and emotional connection mean. 3. You are NOT supposed to understand each other; thinking you should is the problem. 4. Sexual attraction in long-term relationships is created. It doesn’t just happen. 5. Many people are unaware that we do our emotions to ourselves, which creates a loss of personal responsibility and encourages a blame and judgment model. 6 ..read more

Without fail, every time a client gains meaningful success, they have all done so by making one critical shift. They took back control of their lives by reclaiming their power to become more of who they really are, using their emotional states as a foundation to bring out the best in themselves and their partners. Taking back control matters because you are now in a position to design the outcomes the way you want. To achieve this, you must control your emotional states so they reflect who you really are. If someone is out of control of their emotional state, they are like a runaway train.&nbs ..read more

Marriage should be a place of love and companionship. But the truth is, it can also be incredibly challenging if you don’t know how to build the foundations that allow the connection to work long-term. When your marriage is in crisis, the key to healing lies in pausing, stepping back, learning why you have problems, and pressing reset. No matter how difficult life is today, nothing is ever permanent. Change is guaranteed, so learning how to take charge of that change by understanding where to put your focus is crucial. Couples who have suffered must create a new relationship. Give yourself a f ..read more

We are all in our marriages of our own free will, so doesn’t it make sense that if either person keeps feeling bad in the marriage, they can also action their free will to leave? What I keep seeing is people are literally teaching their partner how to leave them. Some people teach their partners not to need them, some help their partners to stop finding them attractive, some teach their partners they are miserable, negative, or controlling people, some teach their partners they are not caring, and some are emotionally abandoned in their marriage and are being taught how they can live alone. Th ..read more

One of the most common factors that can lead a couple to divorce is when one or both people find they have lost connection with who they are and their core identity. Some people find themselves bending into being someone they are not to make the marriage work. At some point, they will discover that this practice causes more problems than it solves. Losing a connection with yourself in a marriage is more of a problem than many realise because it can be a core reason why the marriage will fail.  An ineffective relationship with myself will mean little to no ability to form a safe connection ..read more

If you are experiencing a troubled connection, you might be in one of the following three zones. I am illustrating these zones because if you want to fix your marital problems, you must know where you are today. This is the first part of three critical steps. Here are the 3 important steps. Know where your relationship is today. Know where you want to get to, i.e. your design or future vision Design the steps to get there. Step one is to know where your relationship is today. The zones illustrated below can help you understand this, which is one of the critical markers to know before helping ..read more

Have you ever wondered why so many couples find communication difficult? In today’s post, I’m going to share some of the basics to help you. To start, I’m going to share the basic mechanics so you can start to see the problem quickly. When a person shares their words, each person will hear some or most of the words that are spoken, so it sounds like it should be straightforward. The problem starts because both people think the words exchanged are what is being assessed, but this is not true, and it’s why there is a communication breakdown. You see, what’s being assessed is the interpretation o ..read more

The fastest way to a better marriage is to change what you CAN control, not what you can’t. If you have ever tried to change another human, you’ll probably find changing them is harder than you think. You see, people only change when they decide to, so helping them change means learning how to trigger them positively, not negatively. So the smart people are starting to see that to create a better marriage, they have to be better. They see that to make a better marriage, they must change themselves first to achieve a positive trigger in their partner. There has been a dramatic shift with my cli ..read more

Are you waking up firmly connected with a sinking feeling that your marriage is in real danger? If so, I’m sure you are aware that you’re not alone.  Each year, countless individuals find themselves lying awake, staring at the ceiling in the dead of night, wrestling with the realisation that while on paper, their life together should be great, their marriage is unravelling, and they feel powerless to stop it.  Before you let panic set in or resign yourself to defeat, remember crises, even in marriages, are not just challenges—they’re opportunities.  I say this because most of th ..read more

The majority of couples in crisis are trying to solve the wrong problem in their marriage, and it’s leading them into an unnecessary divorce. In today’s post, you will find three common examples. I have found that clients are time-poor and need to know quickly if they have been trying to fix the wrong problem or if they are genuinely incompatible. So, I moved the practice into a diagnose and prescribe model for their dynamic enabling accuracy and speed. Without a correct diagnosis, how do you know what action to take to be strategically efficient for the client? For two decades, I’ve listened ..read more