In today’s post, I’m going to uncover a significant block to solving marriage problems. It’s so powerful that, if uncovered could transform your marriage. The problem is many won’t like it – even though it works to give you the answers you will need! It’s what many of my clients start to see as they work with me and what I discovered 20+ years ago. In fact, it’s foundational to my relationship with my wife, Cloé. There is only one group of people that do naturally see this problem, but they usually notice it far too late. So I want to give you sight of the problem today to help you. The focus ..read more

I’ll never forget this day – I was about 20 years of age. No matter how far I walked, I could not escape this gutwrenching pain. This was something I had never experienced before, my girlfriend had just ended our 12-month relationship. I never saw it coming, and it changed something in me that led me to an very unexpected future. That pain and suffering I went through was so shocking it’s probably one of the foundations to why I had dedicated my life to helping people out of their emotional crises. Today I have seen couple after couple come back from the edge of divorce after they understood w ..read more

There are three critical foundations of any relationship that you must master if you are ever going to stand a chance of keeping a passionate connection alive. Day-to-day, their connection needs to trigger pleasure; they need to conflict well, and they need an agreed future that’s compelling. The first foundation is about Connection in the NOW – no matter what is going on. If a person cannot see the mechanics of getting one hour right or a day right, how will they ever build a year, a decade or a life together?  What we need: From moment to moment, we all need to experience a trend o ..read more

Your relationship is on the edge of an irreversible crisis. What do you do? How do you find a proven way to see the crisis as solvable when everything is pointing towards hopelessness? If the wrong action is taken, the outcome can make a bad situation even worse, so the next step is critical.  So when couples or individuals come for help, we usually discover they are actively doing what will take them closer to the end of the relationship, which isn’t what they want. My clients are highly intelligent individuals, and yet they are clearly blind to what’s really going on in their marriage ..read more

A very successful businessman was on a call with me, passionately complaining about his wife’s behaviour. He complained about what she did that he didn’t like. He complained about what she didn’t do that he thought she should do. This went on for about twenty minutes. He told me how badly behaved she was and wanted me to see her and put her straight. He had had enough and was on the verge of leaving her. He wasn’t aware his thinking was going to lead him to fail, so I had to start to evolve his thinking. To start with, he had limited his judgement of her as good or bad. How I see people is ver ..read more

So having spent the best part of two decades listening to couples on the edge of divorce, there is much to learn from them. I have been looking for the trends of emotional patterns that consistently lead couples to divorce so that I can share them with you. On Mondays, I will start posting what I found to help you. The first trend I see with all couples in trouble is the inability to put their partner first. Trouble is always close by whenever something keeps becoming more important than a partner. It can be work, hobbies, parents, children, external relationships or yourself. The moment a par ..read more

So this couple split up and started to see other people. When I met this gentleman, he was dating, but every experience was empty. So I asked him about his ex-wife. He told me what had gone wrong. As I listened, I asked him if he was open to a thought. I told him he had misunderstood his wife. I showed him how he had misunderstood her communication patterns and how he had made her problems about himself. I explained what she was doing was crying out for help because she had felt so disconnected and alone. As he heard my thoughts, he started to cry. He admitted he had been using his ex-wife as ..read more

I know first-hand how hard getting relationships wrong is on a person’s emotional health. It’s one of the reasons I do this. I remember feeling so desperate when I was very lost in my younger years. I remember going to sleep, hoping I wouldn’t wake up. A broken relationship can help people feel very depressed, lost, anxious, and certainly stressed. We can lose connection with who we are. This is a real problem. When we don’t know what to do, this will cause us pain and eventually suffering if it’s not corrected. I hear people every day who are suffering and have been for years. Many admit they ..read more

2023 has got to be better for you, hasn’t it? I know many have had enough of their situation and want answers/solutions to their seemingly impossible relationship problems. You should have answers because they are there for you if you know where to look. Some are wondering if the marriage has run its course, some are looking for ways to fix the problems, and some are stuck because they are both scared to leave and scared to stay. Many couples are resentful, either constantly bickering or withdrawn; this leaves many passionless as the trust is eroded daily. They are bright enough to see the pre ..read more

One of the keys to so many couples reconnecting is their new knowledge of their destructive/outdated patterns. Ill-formed patterns can change the perception of a person’s identity in one person. It can also physically change a person’s identity. It has the power to disconnect people from themselves. It can negatively shift their attraction dynamic, so love, passion and attraction die. It also helps people meet critical needs in negative ways, which is a problem because people can change without thought. Many people are running their own negative patterns in reaction to their partners’ distorti ..read more