So, a little while ago, I had an awkward phone call…   “You haven’t replied to my messages! I’m looking for a wedding magician”   “I’d be delighted to perform at your wedding, but I really haven’t had any messages from you”   “I’ve sent several. Through your contact form…”   So, at this point I go into full on web-tinkering mode. Sent myself a contact form message – Test. Then Test 2. Hello Jack. Hello Jack 2. Please may I book a wedding magician. Please may I book a wedding magician 2. You get the drift. When it comes to web tinkering, I am nothing if not thorough ..read more

There are some questions that I get asked more than others… “Can you make my wife disappear?”* “Have you been on Britain’s got Talent?”** “Can I order half pizza and half pasta?”*** “What time do you finish?”**** And of course, “Do you rotate your tricks, in a similar fashion to how medieval farmers would rotate their crops in the 14th Century?”***** The answer to this last teaser is (I’m afraid to say)“No”. You see, I’ve developed a four part set that I’m very proud of. A set that rotating just wouldn’t work on. I commence a first lap with of sleight of hand trickery. A starter if you will of ..read more

    Sometimes, things totally take you aback… I watched this thing on Netflix a bit ago. It was called “behind her eyes”. Was it good? Yes. Did it have a twist? Indeed. Did I see it coming? No way. Did I keep thinking about it after it was over? Abso-freaking-lutely. Sometimes you watch something that totally knocks your socks off. There’s a twist (aka “denouement”) that you did NOT see coming. And I bloody love it when that happens! (If you like this sort of thing, I would recommend Behind Her Eyes. Also Memento. Also The Usual Suspects. Also The Prestige. Also Cloudy With A Chance ..read more

Is this a blog?   Or a blatant attempt to rise up the Google rankings?   Actually, it’s a little of both. You see, I’d love to appear as number one on the listings when people type “Newcastle Magician” into Google, but sadly I don’t. Curse you Graeme Shaw!    So, I got to thinking, maybe, I need to appeal to a different demographic. A different search. A different type of consumer altogether. And here it is. I’m appealing to the fat fingered magic fan. If your chubby digits can’t hit the keys correctly, I want to be your first port of call.   I want to be Mewcastle’s p ..read more

Gammon Close up magician?   A close up magician?   Close up bloody wastrel more like it.    Poncing around in a waistcoat showing card tricks for a bloody arm and a leg? That’s not a proper job.   That’s the problem with today’s generation. Don’t know the meaning of hard graft. I’ve got a bloody degree in hard graft. Got it from the University of Hard Knocks. This lot? What they got. Probably got a degree in Pissfarting About from the University of Spoilt Bastards.   And magic?   For crying out loud. I remember when entertainment was entertainment. But you ..read more

Boltzmann's Brain Have ever considered the possibility that in the vastness of the universe, some atoms could just randomly bump into each other and form an actual physical object? Like a pear, dice, gravy boat or signed playing card? No Jack. That weird thought has never crossed my mind. Interestingly, such an idea is not impossible. The chances are ludicrously small. Practically inconceivable. But interestingly, not impossible. I beg to differ about the use of the word “interestingly” there Jack. But do continue. You’ve clearly got something you want to get off your chest.  Thank you ..read more

Dis-Spousal You know what the most common question I get asked as a magician is? Yup that’s the one… “Can you make my wife* disappear” *Sometimes husband. Sometimes annoying work colleague. Usually wife though. Once, I was performing for a bride and groom. Less than 90 minutes after the “I do”, I got asked if I could make her disappear. So, are you telling me they want their spouse put in a box and magically vanished before an appreciative crowd? Nope. ‘fraid not.  Having done a little digging on this, it turns out that we are talking a slightly more sinister, roll of carpet, gaffer t ..read more

Art Can you separate the art from the artist? Is it possible to admire the art of a monster, or are they as much a part of the art as the brushstrokes or notes themselves? It’s a minefield. Allow me to elaborate… Exhibit 1: Clapton Guitar pioneer. Bluesman. Legend.  Seriously; the Beano album is required listening, and that wah-wah solo on White Room is to die for.   However, it turns out he’s an anti vaxxing fruit loop. And a bit of a racist too.  Can the art be separated from the man? Is it OK to lose yourself in a solo and ignore what lies beneath?   Exhibi ..read more

Time See this picture of a coffee? And this one? Can you spot the difference? That’s right! The second picture is taken slightly after the first one. You can tell because the spoon is slightly warmer. You see, as time passes, heat moves from hot places to cooler places. Never the other way round. You’d never pop a spoon into a steaming hot cappuccino and find the spoon getting cooler. It’s called “thermodynamics”   No shit, Sherlock! – Time passes and heat moves. It’s no biggie Jack. I expected better from you   NO! You don’t quite appreciate the depth and beauty of it – time p ..read more

Trivial     Hey Jack! You haven’t blogged in ages.    What’s that all about?   You know. General reasons. The usual. Stuff. That kind of thing.   Have you lost your mojo Jack?   Have you run out of interesting things to share with the world?    Have you forgotten your website admin password?   Have all your fingers got stuck together like a massive mitten and you can’t type anymore?   No. None of those. Fingers all good. Card tricks would be well and truly scuppered if I were “Jonny mitten fingers”   Have you given up on bloggi ..read more