Our Kids' Parents Have So Much to Overcome
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
3M ago
“Why can’t she just get her act together?” Maybe you’ve said it, too, or at least thought it. Or maybe it’s just me. The arrogant thesis behind this question: If you love your kid, you do whatever it takes to get them back. But have you ever stopped and considered the obstacles, the roadblocks, the internal and external forces that fight against our kids’ parents as they fight for their kids? I can’t imagine what it would be like to try to, for example, get a job or housing or generally “get your act together,” with some combination of: - lack of access to transportation - mental illness - r ..read more
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A Life of Hellos & Goodbyes
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
3M ago
This foster care journey is a life of hellos & goodbyes. Your people watch and see your kids come & go. From where they sit, it seems like the loss of one and the gain of another simply leaves you at net zero. Swap one for another, and you’re no worse for the wear, right? It may look to the rest of the world like the child in your arms replaced that child in your heart, that one you hold now fills the gap of the one you held before. But I want you to know that this foster mom sees you. I know that your loss—even if there’s been gain of another—is real & true. I know that your gr ..read more
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The One's for the Rest of You
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
3M ago
Most of what I share speaks directly to foster and adoptive parents. This one's for the rest of you. You read what I write, but I want to make sure you're not reading into what I don't write, so I'm going to spell it out, clear as can be. I believe that foster care and adoption are beautiful expressions of sacrificial and radical love. I believe it’s important work that transforms lives. I believe that they’re a glorious earthly picture of the gospel. But. Foster and adoptive parenting isn’t some higher level of Christian living. It’s not the only way to love and serve the vulnerable, or the ..read more
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How Do I Know if I'm Ready?
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
3M ago
How do I know if I’m ready to become a foster parent? Honestly? You won’t. You’re not. You won’t ever be. Sure, there are some boxes to check. Do you have a support system? Are you prepared to support reunification? Have you educated yourself on trauma? But past that is a whole lot of unknown, and it takes just jumping in to learn-as-you-go. Though, jumping into foster care isn’t really a jump at all. It’s a step. One faithful, faith-filled first step forward. Then one step at a time from there. You don’t need to see the whole path. You won’t ever know the destination. You just need the fa ..read more
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To the Almost Foster Parent
Foster the Family
by Julianna Carnuccio
3M ago
To the almost licensed or wannabe or its-just-not-the-right-time-but-I-want-to-be-ready eventual foster parent: The best thing you can do right now to prepare you for foster care: Befriend a foster family. Show up and sit with and serve and babysit and make meals and clean toilets and run errands and pray and cry with foster parents. There are so many benefits: * Relationship with a foster family will give you the best, real-life glimpse into what this journey is like. You’ll never read in a book or learn in a training session what you can gain from living alongside a family at the front li ..read more
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Your Loss is Real and Your Pain is Deep and Your Grief is True
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
3M ago
I need to say something to you, in case no one ever has. If you’ve said goodbye to a beloved (foster) child, I want to affirm what you already know and live: Your loss is real and your pain is deep and your grief is true. Most people won’t understand. Some will try and some won’t. But this stranger, from across the internet, wants you to know that I understand, that I’m there with you in it. Saying goodbye—even if you knew it was coming, even if it’s something you supported and worked towards, even if it wasn’t after all that much time—is truly, deeply hard. I have a loss that touches me eve ..read more
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What. Are. We. Even. Doing?
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
3M ago
Increased family connections, reduced childhood trauma, expedited permanency, and increased likelihood of reunification. Research shows that these ??are the results of facilitating positive connections between foster and biological parents. Increased family connections ?? Reduced childhood trauma ?? Expedited permanency ?? Likelihood of reunification?? If this isn’t what we’re working towards as foster parents, then what. are. we. even. doing?? Building relationships with our kids’ parents isn’t (just) about being kind and compassionate and humble toward them. It’s about doing all that we ..read more
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Foster Care Is About Family
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
4M ago
If you imagine foster care and picture cute babies and adorable kids and don’t picture the families connected to them, then you don’t have an accurate picture of foster care. “Bring me all the kids” is a cute idea, I guess. But it’s not what this is about. Foster care isn’t a babysitting service, and it’s not an adoption service. Each child that comes into your home comes with a web of relational ties, memories, traditions, and connections. Each child comes with a family of their own. Foster care is about standing in the gap for another family. This family might become part of your own, blu ..read more
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Foster Care Is About Restoration
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
4M ago
I understand that sometimes children need to be protected from their parents. It’s the reality of foster care. But above this sad reality, and informing this sad reality, is my foundational conviction that God created the family and that He longs for it to be restored. This life of foster care is about more than just protecting. It’s about playing a part in restoring. This means that as much as my heart may be screaming, “How could you do this? Why are you like this? Why won’t you change?” I choose to come alongside the parents I’m protecting the children from. I’ve delivered diapers and c ..read more
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Tell Your (foster/adopted) Child’s Story
Foster the Family
by Jamie C.
4M ago
Tell your (foster/adopted) child’s story. I know, maybe not what you’d expect to hear from me, but I believe it: You need to share your child’s story……..with their teacher. As you send your kiddo off to another year of school, I believe that one of the best ways you can empower & equip your child is to empower & equip their teacher. You are the very best researcher, keeper, and expert of your child. And you can give their teacher the gift of what you’ve come to learn. Let your kiddo’s teacher know whatever they need to know to help your child be successful—the trauma history and fam ..read more
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