The hardest part of this journey is seeing Willow’s worth but knowing some will always view her as unworthy. Unworthy of respect. Unworthy of a conversation. Unworthy of equal opportunity. Unworthy of a living wage. Unworthy of inclusion. Unworthy of love. The hardest part of this journey is knowing that no matter how amazing Willow is, some will always see her as less than. A punchline. A product of sin. A charity case. A burden to society. Unintelligent. Needing to be healed. Better off dead. The hardest part of this journey is feeling all this love for my daughter, but knowing the world i ..read more

It’s over. The school year is officially done. 2nd grade, a thing of the past. Last day of school. To say I’m in shock is an understatement. It’s also ironic, as I began the school year the same way, in shock. Just a different kind. After almost a year and a half of doing school at home, I wanted Willow back in a classroom for the 2021/2022 school year. She belongs with her peers. She craves companionship. Willow’s also a magnet for germs and that concerned her team of doctors, especially her cardiologist. At the beginning of the year, Willow was unvaccinated and the pandemic was still going s ..read more

Once upon a time, I used this blog like a therapist. I wrote, I processed, I released and I healed. This journey we’re on is full of highs and lows and the ride between the two often leaves my stomach in knots. Writing helps me unravel those tangled up feelings. Unfortunately, we’re at a point in life where writing could actually do more harm than good. Willow’s on the verge of turning 8. Her speech is exploding and her opinions are plentiful. Her stories are no longer mine to tell. The same goes for my older two children. Ones a teen, the other’s a tween. All three of my kids have a lot going ..read more

I get it. I understand why we’re here. She doesn’t. My daughter, Willow, knows she should be in school. She gets that Sunday’s are church days, Wednesday nights are for Awana. Stores are for exploring and restaurants made for eating. But we’re not doing any of those things. Life is at a standstill. Willow gets that people are “sick.” She rocks at wearing a mask. But it’s not that simple and this whole staying home thing doesn’t make sense to her. Especially when she sees others moving on with life. Based on the advise of Willow’s cardiologist and several other health professionals who work wi ..read more

Everything seems surreal these days. People are walking around in masks. Stores are putting limits on toilet paper and canned soup. Temperature checks are standard at the dentist and eye doctor. And my youngest daughter, Willow, is turning 7! Crazy, right? S-E-V-E-N. How is this happening? Is this all a dream? Nope. Whether I like it or not, Willow is growing older. I just wish she wouldn’t do it so quickly! In just a few short weeks, Willow, my baby, my smooshy-wooshy cuddle bear, will turn 7 years old!!! Someone please pinch me. Actually, don’t. It’s too risky in the middle of a pandemic ..read more

I haven’t blogged in months. At first, it was an issue of time. Now, it’s an issue of words. I don’t know what to write. My thoughts are a mess. My words aren’t any prettier. The nightly news makes me sad. Social media makes me mad. My heart feels heavy too many hours of the day. The coronovirus is scary, but the hate being spread is even scarier. What happened to love? What happened to compassion? What happened to humanity? Raising a child with Down syndrome and underlying health conditions makes me naturally cautious. Some might even say I’m overprotective. I’m ok with that. Watching your da ..read more

A good friend of mine once said, “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” Her name was Whitney. Whitney Houston. Our friendship started when I was in elementary school. To be honest, it was a little one sided. Whitney would do all the talking. I would listen. Via MTV. Sometimes VH1. Ok, we weren’t actually friends but that’s beside the point. I was recently reminded of Whitney’s words while volunteering in my daughter’s kindergarten class. We were working on writing the letter “D,” when a little girl turned to me with a confession. “I tell my mom abou ..read more

  Tonight something strange happened. Tonight, I read a book to Willow about Willow! And it was written by me! Unbelievably, you can find this book on Amazon right now. It’s called “Ruby to the Rescue” and is based on Willow’s experience with hippotherapy. For those new to that word, “hippo” is the Greek word for horse. So, hippotherapy is therapy with the help of a horse or pony. Speaking of ponies, this is the real Ruby. Ruby lives and works at a place called Acorn Hill EAAT. All those letters at the end stand for “Equine Assisted Activities & Therapies.” Acorn Hill runs solely on dona ..read more

You’re looking at the Christmas card that never made it to the printers. If I’m being honest, it never even made it to the website that magically turns pictures into cards. So, I guess you’re just looking at a picture. It’s off-center, kinda blurry. There’s a pile of stuff in the corner. My son is holding a stuffed animal I told him to put down at least 5 times. My middle child looks like she’s in pain and my youngest is sporting a swim suit. This year, you’re all getting a picture of good intentions. How fitting. 2019 was the year of good intentions. Being a perfectionist control freak – I d ..read more

I never thought it would feel this way. I thought I would cry more. I thought I’d be anxious. I thought I’d reconsider our decision to let her go. Instead, I’m sipping coffee, enjoying the quiet and smiling at the thought of what my youngest daughter, Willow, is up to right now. She’s at kindergarten. Willow has Down syndrome so she’s not your average kindergartner. She has an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), a one-on-one helper and a pretty significant speech delay. Willow is about half the size of her peers, she wears braces in her shoes and doesn’t really understand the concept of pers ..read more