Image by Krzysztof Mandrysz from Pixabay We asked for help, a year ago. It was hard to do. Pride got in the way, many times; weariness stood over us, blocking our view Of what help could mean, not just to us But more importantly, to you. Years of thinking we should be able to cope Manage by ourselves, not admit any hint of defeat. It felt wrong, somehow, to ask just for us But we should not have been afraid to ask For you. Help emerges, stepping very gently in on our daily scenes. Those tasked with listening, listened. Compassion now walks faithfully, routinely, through our front door. She rol ..read more

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash We collected five on our way home from the hospital today. Five! Not two or three or four, (which would still be good) but five. In February of all months, or Kale-monath in Old English, named after a cabbage, I have gleefully learnt. A perfectly sensible name for this month, at least it is if you happen to live in England. Five; all now safely stowed away in my coat pocket. Snatched almost rudely, as if in short supply then shoved deep inside lest they be stolen away. Now stashed amongst scrunched up tissues and the remnants of an autumn leaf I have not had ..read more

Photo by James Coleman on Unsplash I saw Sadness leave one day back in early September, It stood up and walked out through the door. Without a word of warning, it simply left your face. Not pausing to say goodbye or farewell But still, leaving me shocked to the core. I did not notice when Sadness come into your life, This was not someone I thought you of all people knew. Yet the moment Sadness left you was also the moment I saw That for many days, weeks, months even years more than I’d realised Life had been growing harder for you. Sadness moved in on you, on us, so very slowly, stealthily. A ..read more

Photo by Rob Tarren Photography I walked alongside you, guiding you down the aisle. Ribbon Girl. An honour I never dreamt I’d be given. Through a sea of Faces who, quite rightly, were looking at you, not me. An unconventional Bridesmaid, no floaty dress or flowers to hold. You would have thrown those away in seconds. Your entrance had an air of tumultuous serenity as you stomped your way to the front, heavy footed, row by row. You did not know why you were there, but knowing why has never really mattered to you. You are so often content to just be in the moment; especially when those moments ..read more

Photo by Trym Nilsen on Unsplash Today I cleaned the blinds, slat by slat. Wiping away layers of dust, marked with fingerprints that have gathered stealthily. Unnoticed. Hidden until they were not. I noticed them first thing. Shafts of early morning sunlight exposing each tiny particle. Each mark, each imprint. Light has a tendency to do that; expose things. I noticed one of the blinds was broken. Not functioning as it should, no matter how much I tugged or pushed or pulled. How long has this blind been like this? I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed, perhaps just me. Anyway, I think I ..read more

Image by Christiane from Pixabay Today is Sunday. You noticed. You noticed a patch of sunlight that fell out of nowhere and streams across the kitchen floor. Down on your knees, you try to hold it in your outstretched fingers. You feel its warmth. Still, it fades, but still you noticed. Do you wonder, where it has gone?  You noticed the ornamental grass billowing softly. With the lightest of touches your outstretched hand felt its gentle caress. ‘May green‘ plumes that sway and bow with the wind. I marvel at how they do not break or snap under pressure from the next, unpredicta ..read more

Photo by Daniël Maas on Unsplash Am I allowed to think about a world without you in it? Dare I imagine what that would be like?  I think I’m supposed to say that I can’t, I shouldn’t.  But I can, I do, I lived it once; my life, without you.  A life where your laughter would not erupt out of nowhere. Chasing me around corners to share a joke I do not understand.  Catching me off guard in a moment of melancholy.  A life of contagion, where your joy could not be quarantined. Come to think of it, you’ve never once tried to stifle a sneeze.  I think I would hate it if ..read more

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash I love her. With every ounce of my being for every fibre of hers, I love her. When I speak her beautiful name, Hazel; I love her. When I think of her radiant face, her almond shaped eyes, I love her. A violation of social norms; my love for her – my love. How did I once believe I could not express or even feel this kind of love for her? Who convinced me to ever doubt its existence? Robbing me of those early precious moments. Stolen time squandered on falsehood and fear; on Down’s syndrome, but not on her. We were uninsured against such a heinous crime. I ..read more

Photo by Daniel Watson on Unsplash Monday’s child went to school, As she does, as a rule. She was quieter than of late The teacher said. I’ll keep an eye, said I Tuesday’s child stayed at home, unwell. As she often is: not well. We passed the time Singing songs in rhyme. Tube feeding, tea drinking, clock watching our day away. Wednesday’s child remained off school. It’s never just one day, as a rule. We built a den, And dreamed of when She would be well, not ill again. Thursday’s child went back to school Was this the right call or was I a fool? It mattered not, The door was shut. Turned away ..read more

Photo by Gabriel Valdez on Unsplash Who’s missing from your table? Who’s not sitting or standing on your floor? Look around and ask yourself  Who have we never invited in To even set foot in our door? Who’s missing from your plans and dreams? Who’s never expected to play a part? Look around and ask yourself  Who else could be here, changing our culture from within, Changing our heart? Who’s missing from your programmes? Who’s not being given any consideration? Look around and ask yourself  Who else would like to do as we do? They are not some kind of aberration. Who’s missing ..read more