Mrs. Sharky wanted to watch a romantic comedy. Uh oh. I said, “What’s in it for me?” This is the type of give-and-take situation we domesticated adults must consider every single day, and believe me, it ain’t easy. Fortunately, my painstaking research turned up Warm Bodies, a zesty Canadian zom-rom-com that actually checked all the boxes for both our discerning tastes. What a find! Written and directed by Jonathan Levine, and based on a novel by Seattle writer Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies is the story of R (Nicholas Hoult), an unusually thoughtful zombie who wanders around an airport with his fe ..read more

Yech! Even with Ridley Scott directing, Alien: Covenant is a flipping flop. Maybe we should blame Michael Fassbinder who gets to chew twice as much scenery in the dual role of Walter (the helpful, supportive android) and David (the amoral narcissist android). Ten years after the events of Prometheus, which was also a dismal failure, a new crew of explorers and sleeping deep-space colonists get a fragmented distress signal from a nearby habitable planet. Though there is some space allotted for character development, nobody in the crew stands out from the usual trope type, except for Tennessee ..read more

Hey, you guys! Look at this footage I found! Through a mysterious editing process, Frogman brings together all the filmed components of a quest to locate a legendary cryptid that allegedly inhabits the swampier suburbs of Loveland, Ohio. Amateur filmmaker Dallas Kyle (Nathan Tymochuk) is worried that his career peaked as a child, when he snapped a photograph of a mysterious amphibian creature while on a trip with his parents. It happened near Loveland, Ohio, a small town that stays afloat financially by luring v-loggers, podcasters, documentarians, and other disposable media soakers to have a ..read more

Maybe the world isn’t ready for a sci-fi/horror Western starring a nonwhite cast, but I sure as hell am. Writer-director Jordan Peele muses on a number of subjects in Nope, some in subtle fashion, others with blunt force trauma. Otis Junior (OJ, played by Daniel Kaluuya) is a hard-working man who runs the Haywood family horse training business somewhere in the California desert, after the recent passing of his father (Keith David) under mysterious circumstances. His wayward sister Emerald (Keke Palmer) is trying to help out, but the fast-talking urbanite hype gal and the plain-spoken cowboy a ..read more

A beleaguered Georgia landowner summons a husband-wife team of investigators to document possible paranormal parties driving away his customers at a remote hunting lodge. The hunters are scared of ghosts that noisily walk around at night, and whose presence is felt by virtually everyone who stays there. Filmmakers Kendall and Vera Whelpton set up shop in the antler-festooned farmhouse, promptly noting atmospheric changes on their EMF readers, and seemingly making contact with an entity that flashes lights in response to questions. Eventually the Whelptons bring in a rather theatrical psychic ..read more

Even Stephen King loves Infested! So how come I don’t? French filmmaker Sebastien Vanicek spins an undeniably creepy tale about the rag-tag residents of a dilapidated apartment building besieged by Middle-Eastern spiders that reproduce at an alarming rate. Our hero is Kaleb (Théo Christine), an exotic animal fancier and sneaker pimp with a troubled personal life. Seeking to numb his sorrows with a little retail therapy, he buys an expensive spider from a shady agent and promptly loses the little bugger once he gets home. Next thing you know, there are spiders everywhere! Big ones, small ones ..read more

Welcome to a dark night of the soul. Even bad people have them. In some nameless Australian trailer park, Patrick (Brendan Rock) sits in his living room drinking whiskey. Outside, there is thunder and lightning, just like the night Frankenstein’s creature woke up. Patrick is alone, but not for long. A wayward woman (Jordan Cowan), lost in the storm and soaked to the skin, pounds on his door seeking a telephone. “You’ve knocked on the wrong door,” Patrick tells the shoeless visitor. Of course, things are not that simple. The wrong door depends on who’s standing where. You’ll Never Find Me, wri ..read more

George C. Scott in an understated role as a classical composer bedeviled by spooks in Seattle? It’s true! I reviewed The Changeling upon its release for my high school newspaper, wherein I declared it “really scary.” More than 40 years later, I am revising my opinion. Sometimes “scary” doesn’t age well. But then, neither do I. Ivory tickler John Russell (GCS) is a recent widower, having lost wife and daughter in a wintery road accident. He takes a teaching job at a small college in Washington state to hopefully get his head together and start composing again. Instead, the massive mansion gene ..read more

“That’s one of the most stressful movies I’ve ever seen!” This quote comes from Mrs. Sharky, who perhaps unwisely left the selection of this evening’s entertainment to me. She says that Alone is like death by a thousand cuts and accurately represents the kind of micro-aggression that women traveling by themselves encounter far too often. Sometimes it’s just assholes, sometimes it’s Ted Bundy. Jessica (Jules Willcox) decides to pack up her troubles in a U-Haul and head for greener pastures after her husband commits suicide—a similar premise to Alex Garland’s recent film Men. Instead of rest an ..read more

I’ve been a fan of Edgar Wright from his earliest work on Spaced, the hilarious BBC sit-com from the tail-end of the previous century. This foundational series teamed director Wright with writer/actor Simon Pegg, a partnership that flourished with ace collaborations like Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Hot Fuzz (2007). Pegg is certainly the more visible of the two, appearing in high-profile film franchises based on TV shows from the 1960s, Star Trek and Mission Impossible. In Last Night In Soho, Wright’s musically minded, bloody Valentine to swinging London, he affirms his true love (and underst ..read more