I was given the opportunity to chat about my experience with DID to the @mentallyyours team at the Metro. The interview is now available on their podcast. I know everyone’s journey is different and that we are all at different stages but I do hope people will find it useful . My intention was not to sensationalise DID but to open up a discussion not only on DID but on the lack of therapy funding options available. You may not agree with everything I say but I hope readers will listen to the whole interview as I’m sure there will be things you find interesting. Download the podcast by clicking ..read more

I am often asked how I was able to get NHS funded treatment here in the UK and given I know there are so many people struggling to get the same help I decided to write this post. Like many people I had to fight for treatment, a long and often destabilising fight to get those in authority to see that long term specialist therapy made sense given it’s the only internationally recognised treatment for Dissociative identity disorder. Looking back it still seems strange that I had to fight for help which has in fact saved the NHS thousands, but fight we did. If I’m honest I couldn’t have done this ..read more

This week I have found myself in London trying to explain DID to a journalist. Funny how suddenly facing a microphone forces one to become more succinct and yet I do find it hard to explain dissociation and how it impacts my life. This got me thinking that maybe others would find it helpful to have a basic intro to DID. This post is therefore a very basic guide to dissociation and DID. Dissociation 1. Dissociation is something we all do, when we go on auto pilot or take a regular journey and suddenly realise we are further along than we thought. 2. Dissociation is only an issue when it becomes ..read more

I have never given this blog over to anyone else but today’s  exciting news in the New Years Honours for a stalwart of the D.I.D. Community makes it seem a fitting thing to do. For those who don’t know First Person Plural founder Kathryn Livingstone was included in the New Years Honours list. She has been awarded a British Empire Medal for services to people with a Dissociative Identity Disorder. You can find our more here. I’d like to start by offering my congratulations to Kathryn she has certainly raised the profile of D.I.D in the UK and seems a worthy person to include her news ..read more

This past week Therapy came to an end and a life transforming journey with my psychologist that lasted 4 years  is now over and to say it exceeded my expectationa would be an understatement. Therapy has provided me with an amazing opportunity  to grow, to develop an understanding of myself and establish a greater awareness of what is important. So I thought I’d explain a little of the journey and what the future holds too. When I began I hoped that I’d find an opportunity to lose less time, to be a less unhappy and disfunctional person. Yet during the four years I’ve really changed ..read more

Progress comes in many guises, but long term talking therapy can make huge differences to a persons life. During the past eighteen months I have felt myself shift and change, as I began to learn more about myself and the different parts of me. I’ve come to realise that hope is possible, and those with a dissociative disorder can live life successfully. If someone had told me ten years ago when I was stuck on a psychiatric ward that there was hope I wouldn’t have believed them, but I can honestly say that with the right help and support things can work out okay. I have now had 3 1/2 years of t ..read more

It’s been a tricky few weeks so much has happened and yet what has impacted the most has been a sore back. I have damaged a couple of the discs in my lower back and this has resulted in a trapped sciatic nerve, which is more than a little painful. In fact when it first started it felt far worse than any labour pains I had endured. My bad back has meant I’ve had to rest and that’s not been so easy for me or my alters, the other parts of me.     Suddenly our planned trips to the beach, days out to recharge my batteries and catch the last summer sun disappeared. I couldn’t get off ..read more

Over the years I have encountered many therapists, I have seen people of varying levels of expertise and the way they work has been very different. Most of those who I saw in the past had a keen focus on the trauma itself, desperately wanting me to regurgitate the events of my childhood. But is that the best approach for recovery, does it help to go over and over the bad things that happened.   Due to my dissociation I have many gaps in my memory of my childhood, my brain has been good at protecting me and locked many horrors away. I have found over the years those memories spilling out ..read more

Over the past few weeks I have found myself struggling as the past invades my present, my here and now. It came to a head when I received a letter from the hospital saying my psychiatrist appointment had been amended, I would no longer see the doctor I was expecting, instead a random stranger. I haven’t seen the original doctor for ten years, but the fact I knew he was ok had made my transition to the new team bearable, suddenly I was now being faced with a stranger, someone who might judged me and that triggered me.   I found myself hurtling back into the past and then came the tear ..read more

I just wanted to update people, Sorry I haven’t posted for a couple of weeks now but life’s been a bit chaotic. I had a bit of a relapse a couple of weeks ago due to a trigger and so have felt quite fragile. I’m ok and trying to focus on just getting on with life, I am aware I’m  cramming my days full as a coping mechanism.  I need to stop and have a good old cry and then I should be able to get back on track. I realise this is all a part of me, my Dissociative Identity Disorder and the recovery process. Hope you can bear with me.  I will post soon I promise.  Thanks  ..read more