Bladder Blather
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
1w ago
  Empty thoughts. With multiple sclerosis, problems with pee-pee and poo-poo are quite common.  Namely when an MSer has to go–we HAVE TO GO.  Get out of our way ‘cuz it’s game time! I’m undoing my pants way before I cross the bathroom threshold.  Even then it can be a close call. Nighttime is the worst. I’ll wake up realizing I have to go.  Get my lead legs up & adam.  Then scuttle the 20 feet to the bathroom before the dike breaks. Mostly I make it.  But lately not so much. It seems the closer I get–the sooner the dribble begins. Things had to change.&nb ..read more
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My Beak
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
3w ago
  The nose knows. My beak. The nose on my face.  Yeah, we go way back.  Been my calling card for ages. It’s big-no doubt.  It’s the first thing that enters a room. Most people say they remember someone’s eyes.  With me, they never forget my nose.   I’ve frightened small children.  It counts as another appendage…two arms, two legs, one nose. My trauma began as a child.  It was difficult to find a pullover shirt big enough to allow my bulbous head to pass through the neck hole…but also not to get hung up on my schnoz. Years ago I broke my nose in a sk ..read more
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Holiday Hugs
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
1M ago
  Joy! ‘Tis the season celebrated with family & friends. Warmest greetings are exchanged.  Hearty hello’s & well wishes along with embraces of fellowship. Hugs are given to all within reach…graciously accepted by everyone–except this guy…who is shakily standing there, teetering on two canes.   You see, with multiple sclerosis, comes piss-poor balance.  And the simplest act of human compassion, the hug, suddenly becomes a circus side-show. The performer walking the high-wire has got nothing on an MSer trying to show some love while perched on, or behind, a mobility a ..read more
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Guzzle Gifts
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
1M ago
  For me?   Got a drinker on your gift list? How about a bottle of wine from a local winery? Some crafted beer from an area brewpub? Or fine spirits from your state agency?   Then, head to Ollie’s to get your party started!   The one and only.   If you are not familiar, Ollie’s is a closeout retailer selling its wares at below market prices. They use the tagline “Good Stuff Cheap.” Which, according to Google Translator, means “Shit you don’t need for a low price.”   Funny looking fellow.   There’s even a caricature drawing of Ollie. And from what he has to pe ..read more
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Guilt Over Good
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
2M ago
  No fun here. One can be guilty of many things. Mostly bad stuff comes to mind. But I ask you, can one be guilty of a GOOD thing? Here’s my dilemma. Speaking to those with multiple sclerosis, you already know that with a MS diagnosis there can be a truckload of symptoms, signs, reactions, maladies & ailments…affecting all from your ears to your toe nails & everything in between.   There can be pain, spasms, dizziness, tingling, numbness, incontinence, weakness, fatigue and more. Crushing, debilitating stuff that beats the life out of us. And here I stand (stooping, of course ..read more
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Leaf Blowers Blow
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
2M ago
  A reason for the season. The fall season brings out its absolute best. Crisp temps.  Clear skies.  And a rainbow of vivid colors as Mother Nature shows her hand. But on the contrary, with fall, also comes its absolute worst–the emergence of the annoying, man-made cicada of the season–the LEAF BLOWER.   You see, I loathe leaf blowers.  Can’t stand ’em. And this time of year they drone on & on with a sound more piercing than a crying infant on a Delta nonstop to Hoboken. It appears every one living on my street owns a leaf blower.  And they use them at the exa ..read more
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Rants
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
3M ago
  Buckle in. This pitiful blog serves as my outlet. A place to spew my thoughts, my gripes & ideas in a somewhat humorous way. Not everything will be on point as my mind hits & skips like a ’74 Dodge Dart. Today is no exception as I drone on about two subjects in this post titled “Rants.” Enjoy.   Laziness We’re getting lazy, we are.  We have groceries delivered.  Our take-out food.  We shop from home.  And pay bills online.  Heck, we can even buy a car from a giant vending machine if we want. This laziness has taken over how we dress too. Dress to im ..read more
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Dreadfully Awful
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
3M ago
  Yummy!   I just finished taking a cycle of the commonly-prescribed oral steroid, Prednisone. Whether you have MS, a myriad of other health conditions or simply trying to boost your home run total, you are well aware of what I am about to say.   The little buggers.     How do these tiny, tiny pills…smaller than mini M&Ms…pack such a dreadfully awful taste?   I assume roadkill as being more appetizing. Is this a pill?  Or did I swallow a chunk of iron ore?   He knows!   Even Mr. Yuk cringes when taking Prednisone! He kept a straighter face after ..read more
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The Flemmy Awards
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
4M ago
Grab the popcorn. It’s the Flemmy Awards! Welcome ladies & gentlemen to the Flemmy’s, celebrating the best & worst of My Odd Sock. We are live from the American Legion hall in Sheboygan for this star-studded event.   Quite the trophy!   Everyone in attendance hoping, dreaming to take home a coveted, career-killing Flemmy Award! The winners are in.  Trophies have been polished.  And 50/50 tickets have been sold. So let’s kick off…The Flemmy Awards!   Our first category: I’m dozy already.   Wow, this was a close one. So many deserving posts honoring mul ..read more
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Adults Say The Darndest Things
My Odd Sock | A funny look at life with a limp.
by Doug Ankerman
4M ago
  Yep they do.   It’s not just kids. Often, seemingly mature, educated, functioning, responsible adults come up with shit that leaves your head spinning. You & I and everyone with any sort of health malady have heard our share of these numbing witicisms. The examples are endless.   I believe people belch out this stuff without even thinking.  They are stuck in an uncomfortable situation (with us). They are desperate to fill and smooth over any lapse in conversation (In radio we called this “dead air”).  And open the floodgates of their mouth spewing their view like ..read more
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