Dear CFH readers, It’s been a long ride since our first post back in 2009. We admit we’re not getting the audience we used to, but we’re grateful you’ve been with us this far and we’re not done yet! We’re moving to NotAlwaysRight.com so that we’ll be able to continue sharing new and classic stories for more years to come. While CFH won’t look the same anymore, we hope you’ll give our new home a chance. See you there! -ClientsFromHell The post appeared first on Clients From Hell ..read more

Client: “You’re doing your work wrong.” Me: “What did I do wrong, sir?” Client: “You’re not listening to me, this is just wrong.” Me: “Can you please tell me what I did wrong?” Client: “You’re still not listening… this is like talking to a wall.” Another perfectly detailed instruction, from the Clients From Hell archives. The post It’s Like Listening To A Wall appeared first on Clients From Hell ..read more

I work as a graphic designer at a sign shop that makes, well, signs. We also do some car decals and wraps from time to time, but mainly it’s large format signs, banners, channel letters, and so on. This time it’s a client for some truck decals. They come in and we take measurements and photos of the existing graphics. They want the same exact decals that are there but larger, so that’s what I set up in a proof, set up pricing, and send it over to them. They approve the proof in the portal, which is time-stamped with his email showing it was approved and paid and everything. Seems like an easy ..read more

Client: “So you got everything you need? Take all the time you want. We really believe we understand the mind of the creative individual. We know it takes time to create a powerful ad.” Me: “Yeah. It does. Thanks.” Client: “But it’s urgent. Just imagine that it should have been done as of yesterday.” Me: “But no deadline?” Client: “Right. Well, I mean, we need it for four days, but otherwise, yeah – no deadline.” A “yeah but no”, from the Clients From Hell archives. The post Take All The Time You Need, Even From The Past! appeared first on Clients From Hell ..read more

My team is having a really hard time color correcting a textile product in some photos that were taken by a novice in a natural setting, with the sun coming in and out behind the clouds on the day of the shoot. Obviously, the product is not going to look the same in every photo because how could it be under that many variables? The person approving is in no way trained in design or color theory, and can’t seem to connect the dots between how a color will look in sun vs in shade. Despite that, they’re asking for “a smidge more warmth here” or a “notch of darkness there” and seem to be completel ..read more

While designing a Sherlock Holmes poster for a children’s theater group.  Client: “You know how you have both Watson and Holmes? Just take out Watson and make Holmes bigger. Also, take out Sherlock’s hands.” Me: “But then the notebook he’s holding will be floating…” Client: “I can’t overstate how okay I am with a floating notebook.” When design disasters aren’t a mystery, from the Clients From Hell archives. The post The Game’s Afoot, Because There Are No Hands appeared first on Clients From Hell ..read more

Client: We’re a startup game company, and we need one character with thirty different eyes, thirty different mouths, thirty different hairstyles, and thirty different bodies for our game where the character can be customized.  Me: Okay, that’s technically thirty characters with each element drawn separately and/or in separate layers. I then give my rate for thirty characters. Client: Your profile says you charge [amount] for only one character. Please give us that rate since it’s only one character but he has thirty different mouths, eyes, hair, and bodies. So the price should be jus ..read more

This week’s deal is the ultimate tool for turning photos, designs or logos into beautiful and compelling watercolors.  > It’s easy to use and the results are stunning. Watercolor paintings are elegant and refined, but difficult to master even for accomplished artists who haven’t specifically trained in the medium. With this package you can employ this style quickly and easily! Layers convert your images into convincing watercolor style, background textures give you the watercolor in no time and the included fonts round out the look in an impressively comprehensive package.  The ..read more

Some years ago, I was a freelance writer with particular academic expertise. My work was becoming more well-known and widespread, so my profile was rising somewhat. As a result, I was emailed out of the blue by an old acquaintance whom I’d worked with previously on a media project. He works in the media himself. And it showed. Client: Hi, mate. Long time no see. So, I’m putting together a new site, all about [subject]. I reckon it’ll be a really great resource, but I’m trying to get it off the ground. Would you be willing to write a piece for it? With your profile, it would really help get it ..read more

I need to get a hold of a client’s IT department to check on some compatibility issues: Client: “IT… IT… I don’t know who’s in IT. We have a bunch’a Indians running around here sometimes, I’ll grab you one of those. Just let me look in the directory here and find an Indian-sounding name… Raji. That sounds good. I’ll send you over to Raji. I know he’s not in sales because he couldn’t sell his left nut to save his life… so he’s probably in IT. Besides, he’s Indian, they own the tech sector so I’m sure he can help you regardless of his position here. I’ll transfer you now.” Just a bit more casual ..read more