The Days are Long, But the Years are Short
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
2M ago
  The New Year has rolled over, and I find myself feeling uncertain about what 2024 will hold.   Next week, I have a brief hospital trip for the long-postponed removal of my impacted wisdom teeth. Because I'm a lonely loner, I get a little overnight vacation at the hospital, because I don't have anyone to stay with me to supervise for 24 hours after coming out of the anesthesia.   I know that it would have to be done at some point, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to put it off further, until they started causing serious problems. I'm a little apprehensive about the ..read more
Visit website
My First Tattoo, and Missing That One Person
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
4M ago
  If there's one thing about me, it's that I'm terrible at making decisions. I don't think that this is particularly uncommon - especially for people with eating disorders - but I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I have a tendency to fixate on details, no matter how insignificant they might seem to others. In all aspects of my life, I struggle with wanting to constantly refine things.    And so, I've put off committing to tattoos, despite wanting them for as long as I can remember. Even when I know exactly what I want, I worry that it won't be perfect. And I have to be able to ac ..read more
Visit website
Disconnected from Reality
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
1y ago
I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. A stranger in my own life. What is wrong with me? In recent months, I've come to the jarring realization that I am not the same person I was a year ago. I feel disconnected from the world and the people in it. Not really real. It feels like I'm missing a piece of my heart. Somewhat dead inside. Slipping away further each day. For the most part, I just want to be alone with my grief. I want to curl up with it and block out everything else. And in a way, I am alone with it. It feels like people have already forgotten my mum. Like no one misses her ..read more
Visit website
Grief & Consequences
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
2y ago
Five days after mum passed, I ended up facing a serious health issue of my own.  She passed on the Sunday. The following Friday, I went over to her place. I wasn’t going to start packing yet. But I wanted to do things like look through photos, and even just be there to feel close to her. It was my first time going over there. And I couldn’t deal with the emotions. I didn't want to feel. I felt lost, and so alone. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to sit. So, in the early evening, I just lay down on the floor in front of the heater. I took too many of my meds. It’s something ..read more
Visit website
19 Weeks, 2 Days...
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
2y ago
It is with a very heavy heart, and immense sadness, that I make this post to let you all know that my beautiful mum has passed away, after an 19 week battle with cancer, which was unfortunately found too late to be curable. But we’re all grateful for that extra bit of time that treatment could buy her to slow things down, and for the medical team who made it happen. Things moved very quickly from the start. She fought hard through chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and immunotherapy - even knowing that it would at some point take her life. Through everything, she was brave, strong, and never afraid ..read more
Visit website
I'm Not Ready For This
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
3y ago
The past few months have been exhausting. Emotionally, mentally, physically. On February 12th, we found out that my mum has cancer. Stage Four. Lungs, liver, brain... it's not looking good. Scratch that. We know it's not good. I'll try to keep this short as to not bore you all, but it has quickly taken over so much of my life, it'd be impossible to not share here. I've never really had friends in real life, and I don't have many people to talk to. In one week, everything can change. Within days, things changed from "my abdomen hurts a bit" into "you need to start treatment now, or you'll be d ..read more
Visit website
Meanwhile...
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
3y ago
My world was turned upside down a few weeks into the new year, in a way I’ve never experienced before. Things have been a bit crazy these past few months. I’m trying to put a post together, when I’ve got the time and energy, but I’ve been struggling to even keep up with journaling. I know this isn’t a proper post, but I just wanted you all to know that I’m still around. I’m okay. Things are hard right now, but I have to just keep on going, day by day. Sorry for going 'ghost' again. I know I’ve said that I’d get back to posting at least monthly this year, but the last few months have changed ..read more
Visit website
" We are not lonely, because we chose to be alone"
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
3y ago
Hello, my lovely blogosphere!   Again, I'm sorry its been so long between posts. I'm okay, or at least doing as well as I can be. I've been trying my best to keep up with reading, and trying to comment, on everyone's posts as best I can. But in the past year, I've found myself overwhelmed by even the smallest things. It's been hard to find words for the past couple of years, and I find it happening more often these days.   First of all, I just want to say that I hope everyone is staying safe. I know that many of you are from areas in the world where the pandemic is runni ..read more
Visit website
Persephone
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
4y ago
Meet Persephone, the newest addition to my little family. After tragically losing Billy 18 months ago, I still don't know if I'll ever get another dog. My heart just can't bear it. But with Misty getting older, and being an only pet for the first time in her life, I decided some months ago that I wanted to look into getting her a little buddy. I didn't want to end up alone, and potentially risk the same situation that I'm in regarding dogs (not knowing if I could bear to get another cat, after I one day say goodbye to Misty). So, last week, I had an appointment with my local rescue, and cam ..read more
Visit website
Make Them Never Want to Hurt You Ever Again
.:Too Much, Not Enough:.
by
4y ago
This weekend will mark six months since I moved. The time seems to have flown, but at the same time, it feels like I've lived here much longer. I'm making progress of making my unit a home, and trying to figure out how to feel safe and secure. It doesn't help that I made the mistake of letting someone in (a friend who was struggling with a depressive episode, and wanted someone to talk to) about 6 weeks ago, and they ended up hurting me. I haven't told my psychologist or GP about it, but my support workers know. Talking about it just seems pointless. Talking about it never helps. I spent the ..read more
Visit website

Follow .:Too Much, Not Enough:. on FeedSpot

Continue with Google
Continue with Apple
OR