One of my favorite pastimes is putting a wide array of random items in my Amazon shopping cart knowing full well I will never actually purchase any of them window shopping.  Feeling nostalgic the other day, I searched for some retro decorations, and as usual, Amazon did not disappoint. Here, in no particular order, are 23 totally gnarly items that will make you yearn for the 80s!  (This is not a sponsored post. It's just me wasting time while taking a break from filling out job applications. I did not order, nor did I receive any of these products for review. Each item has at least ..read more

It's testing season here in Florida which means students have to spend many days following a block schedule and staying in the same classroom for hours on end. After the students complete the test, they need to remain seated and silent so as not to disturb anyone else who may still be testing. The only respite from the suffocating boredom is going to the bathroom. I mean, they rarely actually need to use the facilities. I've written about that HERE. But they like to "go to the bathroom" as in leave the classroom on an adventure that has nothing to do with "Number 1 or Number 2 ..read more

When you're young, you hurt yourself when you do something like skateboard down a hill, or jump over a parking meter, or fall from a bunkbed. When you're my age, you hurt yourself doing things like walking to your car in a parking lot, looking over your shoulder when backing out, or apparently doing nothing more than writing a grocery list.  That's what happened to me. I hurt my thumbs (yes, plural - thumbs.) I hurt both my thumbs from doing something as innocuous as writing. Or typing. Or crocheting. Or just because I'm 53 and body parts simply cease working when you get to this ag ..read more

People often ask me what my kids are up to these days. I started this blog over 16 years ago. It's hard to believe so much time has passed because it feels like it was just yesterday. Folks always told me, "The days are long, but the years are short." Now I fully understand the meaning of that phrase.  Here's a brief run-down on what the kids are up to these days. Austin is married, has a daughter and a son, and is a pastry chef. Savannah is married, has two girls and a step-son, and is a stay-at-home mom. Jackson lives with his girlfriend and manages a smoke shop. Lexington lives with he ..read more

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I lay awake, berating myself for eating half a Pepperidge Farm coconut cake. You know, those frozen cakes that serve 8? I hadn't even taken the time to defrost it, and it's a good bet I would've eaten the entire partially-frozen cake in one sitting had my daughter not come home when she did.  My stomach hurt, I felt like throwing up, and I had heartburn, but greater than all the physical discomfort was the crushing disappointment in myself. Yet despite the utter disgust with myself, there was a little part of my brain that was thinking, I can't wait until I get ho ..read more

I have thick, coarse hair. I always have. When I was a kid, my mom kept my hair short. I looked like a boy - a boy in cute little smocked-top dresses. Maybe she really wanted a boy. I don't know.  My mom would also have the hairdresser "thin" my hair by using thinning shears. The only thing that really accomplished was making my hair look even frizzier with all those shorter strands sticking out. After amassing a portfolio of cringe-worthy pictures from youth, I decided to keep my girls' hair very long when they were little. I loved braiding it and trying out complicated updos on them.&n ..read more

I really never want to leave my office, but alas someone has to be there for The National Geographic special on hyenas eating wildebeest lunch duty, and I've been voluntold to do it. And every time I leave, I come back to a little surprise. Like this: This cup is a replica of the ones Kelly gave everyone who came to her America's Got Talent party on The Office, so of course, it's awesome and hilarious that Phoebe gave it to me. But seriously, when did she take this picture of me? And what's with my hair? And why do I look like I have no teeth?? What face is that? Do I make this face all th ..read more

  After my coworkers did such a fabulous job on my birthday, I was determined to return the favor. Unfortunately, Rachel's birthday kind of came and went several months ago. She was only in the office in the morning so I made a coffee cake to celebrate it. Phoebe and Dan both have summer birthdays when no one is in school so I decided to celebrate them now. Phoebe did the best birthday theme from The Office for me, so I decided to do a Friends theme for her and Dan. I was in charge of cups and ice. We had a cup banner. A cup chandelier. And the thing that started it all - the cup ..read more

I've worked in a middle school since 2011, and these kids have taught me as much as I've taught them over the years. They've taught me that when you have new shoes, you have to walk like a crippled penguin so the shoes don't get creases. They've shown me that flipping a water bottle, trying to get it land upright is a legitimate pastime. And every year they teach me So. Many. New. Words. I like to try them out with students to see how many eye rolls I can get. For example, last week a couple kids were complaining about the cafeteria food.  "Are you kidding? You've got it good! You know ..read more

Phoebe saw a rubber chicken video. The office was filled with chickens, snakes, bugs, chickens, string, chickens, teeth, balloons, and more chickens. That sums it up and brings us to today. After I encountered my desk fully enshrined in a web of twine, I was determined to get revenge. I'd had the idea to cover Phoebe's desk in wrapping paper for her birthday. Unfortunately her birthday isn't until the summer. I didn't want to wait that long, so . . . I wrapped over 100 items. I wrapped every single pencil. I wrapped the things in her desk. I wrapped her coffee maker. I wrapped EVERYTHING ..read more