It’s family month at Norah’s daycare and we were asked for family pictures. They make little collages and write the names of family members by them (“Me & Mommy,” that sort of thing). I was so worried about Norah feeling like the odd girl out with our little Single Mother by Choice (SMC) family that I totally overcompensated. I brought in about 6 different pictures — including ones of Norah with me, with 2 different sets of grandparents (my parents are divorced and remarried), and I also included pictures of our dog. I told the teachers that I probably went overboard, and they should just ..read more

“Guarantee the right to IVF. Guarantee it Nationwide.” – President Joe Biden In his recent State of the Union address on March 7th, President Biden delivered a strong statement of support for women’s rights and advancements in reproductive health, highlighting the importance of IVF research and funding. It is the first time in American History that IVF was mentioned in a formal presidential address. His acknowledgment and commitment to changing the lack of funding for female medical care and research was paramount, and by bringing this issue to the masses he has sent a powerful indication of h ..read more

I spent three years deciding whether or not to become a Mother on my own. During that time I worried a lot about how I would tell people that I had gotten knocked up by a sperm donor. The words stalled in my brain. I worried what people would think and what they might say. Worse still, I worried what my child might think of me. Anyone who knows me would be surprised to hear this. I’m generally a person who doesn’t much care what other people think. It was so alien to me to be spending time on these thoughts. Normally I’d be a ‘do it now, worry later’ kind of gal. This was too big for that kind ..read more

With many of our members thinking about or choosing the route of IVF, we understand the significant concerns following the recent Alabama Supreme Court decision that has categorized frozen embryos as ‘children’. We’ve seen these concerns discussed and expressed on our Forum. Single Mothers by Choice stands in solidarity with statements that have been made by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, many reproductive clinics, and the broader community that is advocating for reproductive rights and diverse family- building choices. We recognize the exclusionary precedent this decision cou ..read more

I had just finished a twelve hour overnight shift in the NICU where I worked as a nurse. I was riding the bus home in the early Saturday morning hours, bone tired. It was sunny, I think, and I was feeling regretful of my need to sleep before the next night’s shift, wishing I could be out in the land of the living, enjoying the beautiful weekend with my boyfriend instead of shut up in a dark room with a white noise machine. I laid my phone down on the bus seat next to mine.  Just for a moment, I thought. But when I got home a few minutes later, I realized my phone was gone. Dammit. That ev ..read more

How pursuing my dream of having a child made dating more fun. I had often assumed that some women, unlike me, were able to date lightheartedly. Unconcerned with a hoped-for long-term outcome, these women could treat a date as just a date. They found a way to relax and have a good time. These women, I further suspected, were free to be themselves with their dates and so were the ones finding the right partner. As these musings might indicate, my single dating life was often riddled with worry. When dating a man, I was rarely fully present. My mind ran the back-story. I’d size him up, then rocke ..read more

At this time of year, SMC usually sees a pop in new members joining the SMC organization, perhaps due to New Year’s resolutions, or maybe just because it’s the start of a new year. And the biggest question for maybe-SMCs (who we call “Thinkers”) is often, “How can I do this? Or, “Can I do this?” There’s no question that being an SMC is challenging, as well as incredibly wonderful. So I’ve compiled some good tips written by our members on our lively 24/7 online Forum to help answer those questions. For more good advice, join SMC and discuss your “thinking” questions with our members (either onl ..read more

At this time of year, SMC usually sees a pop in new members joining the SMC organization, perhaps due to New Year’s resolutions, or maybe just because it’s the start of a new year. And the biggest question for maybe-SMCs (who we call “Thinkers”) is often, “How can I do this? Or, “Can I do this?” There’s no question that being an SMC is challenging, as well as incredibly wonderful. So I’ve compiled some good tips written by our members on our lively 24/7 online Forum to help answer those questions. For more good advice, join SMC and discuss your “thinking” questions with our members (either onl ..read more

I gave up making New Year’s resolutions a long time ago. I always aimed too high and set myself up for failure. What’s more, I’m making resolutions all year ‘round, so there doesn’t seem to be much point in forcing myself to come up with new ones just because I’m hanging up a new calendar. (Oops, there’s a resolution: upload the new photo calendar to the Costco website before February!) So, how did I spend New Year’s Eve? We were newly home from having spent Christmas in Phoenix with family, the girls were in bed, and I was enjoying a quiet, cozy evening with a book and a glass of wine. What o ..read more

I was a huge fan of The X-Files in the 1990s, and one of the show’s catch phrases was “I want to believe.” I had no idea how that phrase would eventually come home to roost. I really didn’t expect that my daughters would still believe in Santa Claus by the time they were in 3rd grade. I’d be surprised if all of their Christmas-observing friends still believe, and I find it unlikely that none of the non-believing, worldly-wise 3rd graders has spilled the beans. The right jolly old elf hasn’t come up much in conversation this year, and my hunch was that they had their doubts, but maybe weren’t r ..read more