When I was a baby, in the year 90s, I really wanted a laptop computer, which were new at the time, and i wanted it so bad, I even had a very vivid dream that I had found one of the ground on the green tiled arched hallways of a subway station, the moment I picked it up I knew what it was capable of, I could pull retractable cords from it and plug them into objects around me and unlock their deeper potential, the first thing I plugged a cord into was the wall and it opened up a pathway to a secret room, a habitable this room was hidden in the walls and had everything one needed to survive in it ..read more

Barbaque Shellach ..read more

A baby was hired to assassinate a robot so the baby pulls a sleek circular lever and a trap door opens up and they fall out of the space ship into an underground lab with crystalline pillars covering the stone floor there is a half man half robot who says I’m surprised you’re the one to come for me as i can tell by your attire that you have a mind for decisiveness and won’t hesitate to make a snap decision. The robot gestures to the right of him in a domed octagonal room with multiple laser rifles on a wall, a long curved table with a glowing holographic computer console with a red painted wal ..read more

I am Buge. I am a Tiny Green Insect. I give human babies proper names. That makes me a parent. You should meet me sometime. I am a mother. I gave birth to 3 bright, breathing souls named Whisp Shadow, Groess Ploppet, and Fizzpot. I love them. I gave them meat, milk, and toys. And I beat you with my stinging fists. The children will be coming soon. I have nothing but candy to feed them. Don’t you see? You are inadequate to be their parent! Your humans suck! Pah! They’re the spawn of mutant bugoids! And if you think I’m kidding, you must be new here! I don’t know your name ..read more

Moral Piss ..read more

WiFi Eyes ..read more

Jesuit Store Clerk ..read more

Chumpcrake Vodhko ..read more

a mother takes her baby into the hospital and says “my baby is defective I want to return it” the doctor says let me run some tests and comes back and says “ma’am your baby is fine they can giggle and cry and poop like any other baby” the mom says but it is not phone TYPE AMEN ..read more

After receiving an encrypted transmission requesting help from overseas Buge sets sail for Jolly Ol’ england to investigate.  Upon docking on shore in London Buge sees a baby being chased down the streets by those Beefeater Guys y’know with the hats and just as they have cornered the baby in a corner of an alleyway with their bayonets pointed Buge quickly eliminates and destroys them they baby says no time to thank you for saving my life come with me the baby leads Buge down a labyrinth series of alleyways and pulls a brick and a secret underground hatch opens up and they go down into a C ..read more